[manga]

So.. I'm dating this guy, but there are some things that come up that irritates me. He'll tell me he will meet me at some time then changes the time because something else pops up. What's up with that?

One time he called me 30 minutes or an hour after we were suppose to meet. I always feel like I have to be waiting on him.

HOw do I explain this bothers me, without being overly irritated about it? Or am I overreacting?

[Pook_Myster]

I don't think you are over reacting. It is common curteousy for him to let you know that he is late / not coming. He would do it for his mother I am sure, or his boss, or best mate - he certainly should be doing it for you - and if he wouldn't do it for any of these people, then I would suggest that his behaviour is self-centred and disrespectful. If he would do it for all of these other people, and not for you - then he is taking you for granted, and you should chat to him about that.

[talaniman]

HOw do I explain this bothers me, without being overly irritated about it? Or am I overreacting?

You are not overreacting at all. Just tell him how you feel, and you will not be taken for granted or desrespected. If it happens again, then a much stronger measure has to be taken. As in, letting him think about it without you, for a while.

[rol]

<one time he called me 30 minutes or an hour after we were suppose to meet. I always feel like I have to be waiting on him.
>

So when you answer why not say in a nice non needy voice 'oops what a pity but I've made other plans now'

If you accept this behaviour and are always available he will keep doing it!

Start getting busy yourself and let him fit into your agenda .
I guess right now you are always available at his beck and call.

[xxsamxx110]

I'm in a similar situation at the minute, mines abit difficult as it seems to be his panic attacks that keep getting in the way. I never know what is going to happen and he has cancelled everyday for the past week now and a few times before. We have only been together 2 month and as much as I care about him I can't stand this. When we are together it is great but we are not spending the time together. Any ideas on what I should do?

[shatteredsoul]

Sometimes you need to treat people the way they treat you in order to get your point across. I don't know why he would be so flakey but it shows that you are not a top priority to him. So, don't drop everything for him. Avoid making plans with him for awhile and let him seek you out and make it work. If you start this way, he will continue to do this because you accept it. Sometimes if you don't do anything about it, he will assume that you are fine with being stood up, or changing plans at the last minute. You need to teach him how you want to be treated, in order to get what you want.

[manga]

Wow guys! Thanks for your advice, I did however told him last night that I was irritated about it, then he said that I can still come over if I'm not too irritated to, I do get the feeling it's like well whatever you want and not pushing it towards if he wants or not. Then talked about it, it could be he's trying to finish things up around his house that have problems and he's trying to fix it for the landlord because for some reason the landlord is taking forever to resond to the maintenance requests.. well how do I bring to his attention that I am being taken granted for. I'm going to have to agree with shattered soul on not making plans and leaving it up to him so I can just turn the tables around for a bit but even then it's like WHY does it have to be like this game thing?

I'm really bothered with it but still not feeling resolved after talking about it.

Oh yea and on average how many times a week should we be seeing each other without getting it overwhelming? 2 or 3 I think and calling? I'm trying to date differently than I have been before

[rol]

I think you need to go and buy the men are from mars on a date book, it will really help you!
Let him make the plans and call you, you should have a busy independent life apart from him, that way you will not always be available at his beck and call and a little mystery goes a long way.

1-2 times a week is fine but let him invite you, also don't always go to his place, he should be brinnging you out!

How long have you been seeing him?