[jceroll]

In the state of South Dakota, what age do you need to be before you can choose which parent you want to live with?

[GV70]

The simple answer is:you have to be 18.Before 18 the chld/ the teenager... / does not have right to choose it.

[Fr_Chuck]

Normally at 11 to 14 * sometimes younger** the courts allow them to testify and tell the judge where they want to live, but the judge will also look at the over all best interest of the child also.

The child can never merely decide by thierself, The parent without physcial custody will have to file in family court for support and show with proof why it is in the best interest of the child. Then the child can testify.

[angelz921]

In the state of Florida the age is 13. My step brother was able to choose who he wanted to live with at that time.

[Bluerose]

I'm in UK and 11 year old grandson was allowed to choose. Judge said "The young man has voted with his feet." He asked to come live with me. 14 now and doing great!

[ScottGem]

In the state of Florida the age is 13. My step brother was able to choose who he wanted to live with at that time.

How did he "choose"? Did he tell a judge that he wanted to live with you? If so, then he did NOT choose. Chuck and GV70 gave the correct answer. A child has to be 18 before they can choose for themselves. A younger child can express their prefences to a judge, but the judge makes the decision not the child.

I'm in UK and 11 year old grandson was allowed to choose. Judge said;"The young man has voted with his feet." He asked to come live with me. 14 now and doing great!

The same is true here, the judge made the decision. Your grandson expressed his opinion and the judge went along with it. But if the judge had decided it was against the best interests of the child he wouldn't have allowed it.

[angelz921]

Semantics

You know exactly what I was saying. The judge sat down with my step brother asked him who is wanted to live with, and it was granted. He made the choice and the judge agreed.

[Bluerose]

angelz921,

Actually that's how I see it too. The young man asked to come stay with me and I simply went to a judge and asked if it was okay.

[ScottGem]

Semantics

You know exactly what I was saying. The judge sat down with my step brother asked him who is wanted to live with, and it was granted. He made the choice and the judge agreed.

The question was at what age can a child choose for themselves. The correct answer is 18. Under 18 a judge makes the decision. You may call it semantics, but it's a matter of law. If your step brother just moved away from his legal guardian and moved in with you without court approval the legal guardian could have you arrested for kidnapping.

If you can show me some statute in Florida that says a 13 year old can decide who he wants to live with, then I'll concede you were right. Otherwise, your answer was inaccurate and misleading.

[angelz921]

In no way was it misleading. And it is only partially inaccurate. The courts will take into consideration a child's feelings, opinions, and requests as long as it is relevant. The wishes of a child usually is a significant part in a judge's decision in awarding custody.

[ScottGem]

In no way was it misleading. And it is only partially inaccurate. The courts will take into consideration a child's feelings, opinions, and requests as long as it is relevant. The wishes of a child usually is a significant part in a judge's decision in awarding custody.

In the state of Florida the age is 13.

Unless there is a statute on the books in Florida that states that a 13 year old or older can choose their legal guardian, then your statement was indeed misleading.

I don't dispute that the court will take the wishes of the child into account, nor that it may constitute a significant factor in the court's decision. But that it's the court's decision NOT the child's as your initial statement implies. That's what makes your initial statement both misleading and inaccurate. There are many factors that a judge takes into account. They might grant the prefernce of an even younger child, or they might deny the preference of an older one.

We pride ourselves on the accuracy of the advice we give here. That's why it was necessary to correct your advice. I'm not trying to put you down, just to give the OP the most correct advice. I don't want to fight with you, but the facts are as I've stated them.

[GV70]

In no way was it misleading. And it is only partially inaccurate. The courts will take into consideration a child's feelings, opinions, and requests as long as it is relevant. The wishes of a child usually is a significant part in a judge's decision in awarding custody.

OK-The wishes of a child usually is a significant part in a judge's decision in awarding custody... but they are not full determinative.Many children are manipulated by one/usually mother/ parent and the court's role is to determine the real interest.

[angelz921]

But then you yourself are giving misleading advice, by telling the person that a child can not choose to live with another parent until they are 18, and by not stating that that they can "ask" the courts to grant there wish to change the guardian. You are not offering up that option. I believe the original poster was looking for the earliest age that a child can "ask" for that particular change, and that the original answer given was not what they were looking for. Ok, so they may have not asked the question correctly, but only a person in the legal field would have taken it so literally.

I am wrong, I can admit that. BUT, you have to agree with the fact that I am correct in what I was saying about age and granting a new guardian at an adequate age, specific to the state. I just believe that, that should have been included somewhere in the answer. As that was what this was pertaining to.

[angelz921]

GV70- You are correct, and as a mother I can honestly say that some mothers are manipulative that way but not all are. That is why a judge or advocate of the court will sit down with the child and find out the motive's behind the choice for moving.

[GV70]

But then you yourself are giving misleading advice, by telling the person that a child can not choose to live with another parent until they are 18, and by not stating that that they can "ask" the courts to grant there wish to change the guardian. You are not offering up that option .

The child or teenager CANNOT go to court and to ask changing custody alone!! My answer was correct,so ScottGem was, too... The child can be heard by judge but there are many other circumstances.

I am wrong, I can admit that. BUT, you have to agree with the fact that I am correct in what I was saying about age and granting a new guardian at an adequate age, specific to the state. I just believe that, that should have been included somewhere in the answer. As that was what this was pertaining to.

I know a lot of cases where 7,8... y.o. children were allowed to express their desires but for the public policy,legislation and court practice it is unacceptable to modify custody only because a child wants it... There have to have change of many conditions.

[ScottGem]

But then you yourself are giving misleading advice, by telling the person that a child can not choose to live with another parent until they are 18, and by not stating that that they can "ask" the courts to grant there wish to change the guardian. You are not offering up that option. I believe the original poster was looking for the earliest age that a child can "ask" for that particular change, and that the original answer given was not what they were looking for. Ok, so they may have not asked the question correctly, but only a person in the legal field would have taken it so literally.

I am wrong, I can admit that. BUT, you have to agree with the fact that I am correct in what I was saying about age and granting a new guardian at an adequate age, specific to the state. I just believe that, that should have been included somewhere in the answer. As that was what this was pertaining to.

First, you need to go back and read what I have said. From my first response, I stated that; "A younger child can express their prefences to a judge, but the judge makes the decision not the child." Also, Chuck, in an answer prior to my 1st response, had already said that.

But as GV70 is pointing out a minor child cannot petition the court for a change of custody. That petition has to be bought by an adult. The court will take several factors into consideration including the desires of the child.

The law is VERY literal. Frequently judges have to rule based on "the letter of the law". Where questions of law are involved the advice needs to be factually correct. I'm sorry but your initial answer gave the clear impression that, in Florida, a 13 year can just decide who they want to live with. Since that impression is incorrect it needed to be corrected.

I really don't want to fight with you. I will restate the facts once more.

A minor child (meaning one under the age of 18) cannot decide on their own who they can live with or who will be their guardian. For a change in custody or guardianship to occur an adult has to file a peitition in Family Court. In deciding whether to grant the change, the judge will take into account the child's wishes. But that will not be the only factor taken into account. The decision to grant the change is SOLELY up to the judge, who should be making the decision based on the best interests of the child.

I don't think I can state that any clearer. Any advice that does not conform to those facts is inaccurate.

[angelz921]

Over 35 states have laws authorizing courts to consider a child's
Preference concerning which parent she wants to live with following a
Divorce or separation, provided the child is over a certain age (about
Ten). Generally, the older the child, the more weight the desire is
Given. In a few states, the court must grant the child's wish if the
Child is at least a certain age (usually 12 to 14).

[GV70]

Over 35 states have laws authorizing courts to consider a child's
preference concerning which parent she wants to live with following a
divorce or separation, provided the child is over a certain age (about
ten). Generally, the older the child, the more weight the desire is
given. In a few states, the court must grant the child's wish if the
child is at least a certain age (usually 12 to 14).

Please-do not flood the forum. I have been working for fifteen years with different court systems... Give an example in which state the court MUST grant the child's wish if the child is 12, by what law and rule it is required... or leave the Family law forum.

[angelz921]

In all cases in which the child has reached the age of 14 years, the child shall have the right to select the parent with whom he or she desires to live. The child´s selection shall be controlling, unless the parent so selected is determined not to be a fit and proper person to have the custody of the child.

In all cases in which the child has reached the age of at least 11 but not 14 years, the court shall consider the desires, if any, and educational needs of the child in determining which parent shall have custody. (Georgia Code - Sections: 19-9-1 and 19-9-51)

Please explain how I am wrong with this one?

[O_Troubles]

In canada when my parents divorced I didn't know I could state my prefrences but if your 18 u can choose where you go if your anywhere from 11 and up and you request to state your prefrence where to live they might let you