[dragnflyangell]

I have a 14 year old daughter and she needs to come and live with me. She had scabies for two months and my x never took her or the rest of the family to the doctor the minute I found out I took them to the doctor right away and he said they had them so I bought their medicine and when I called my x he said " I thought that's what it was" so I also bought their medicine too. For him , his new wife and their daughter so my kids wouldn't get them again and again. I have called a lot of lawyers and they have not at all sounded sympithetic with my case. I have a very strong case and my x even says he won't win. I wrote him a letter 2 months ago giving reason why she should come and live at my house and he still hasn't given me an answer. I am really trying to be grown up about this and he refuses to do what's best for our daughter she doesn't get along with anyone there. My x has never had a job and his wife works for a little more than minimum wage and not to sound better then him but my new husband and I both have good jobs he is an electritian and I am a hairdresser. I am getting really depressed and I just wish that he would think about our daughter and not about having control over me. We have joint custody but they reside with him. He home schooled her not last year but the year before and she told me that she did 20 pages of math all year and watched he sisters baby the rest of the time. Needless to say she flunked out of school last year and she needs a chance. I just wish he would give her an oppurtunity to live a life where she will have the potential to do well in life. Last time I was at there house I walked in and there was a goat and goat droppings on the floor the smell was so bad that my husband and I had to leave. He is always saying sexual coments to me when no one is around and his e-mail address is my childhood nickname and my age. I really think there is something wrong with that. I know I have rattled on and on and I am just at my witts end. I know that I need to hire an attorney but I would like to keep it as enixpensive as possible. If anyone has any ideas please let me know. I love my children and they mean so much to me and I want what's best for them and living with him is not it. PLEASE HELP!

[fredg]

Hi,
You NEED a lawyer; explain what is going on. Your ex sounds like a complete deadbeat. Keep searching for a good lawyer who will listen to you.
There is no other way than getting a good lawyer. Talk with one soon.
Also, it will help to take pictures of your ex's house, inside and out.
It doesn't matter what your ex says; he obviously doesn't know what he is doing in the first place!
Best of luck,
fredg

[serialwife]

You need to call social services in Oregon and make a report. The conditions you reported qualify as neglect per Oregon child protective service laws

Neglect is failing to provide adequate food, clothing, shelter, supervision, or medical care. Neglect is one of the most common contributors to child fatalities. Neglect includes exposing a child to illegal activities such as: encouraging a child to participate in drug sales, theft, etc., exposing a child to parental drug abuse, theft, etc., encouraging a child to use drugs or alcohol. Children must have supervision to protect them from harm. Children should not be given responsibilities beyond their abilities.

When is leaving a child unattended considered neglect?
Safe child care includes: a designated person who can take care of a child's individual needs, and a plan to reach the parent in an emergency. A child should not be left in a position of authority or be left alone in situations beyond his ability to handle. The law does not specify the age at which a child can be left alone, however, a child under age 10 cannot be left unattended for such a period of time as may likely endanger their health or welfare (ORS 163.545).
As you can see his failure to provide medication for her scabies, allowing her to be in a supervisory role of younger children, and having animal feces in the home endangers her as well as her younger sibilings. Depending how bad the home is the children may be removed from the situation. When you contact CPS in Oregon tell them that you are the mother of one child and are willing to take custody if necessary or appear at any court action on behalf of your daughter.
Other options would be to go to your local county attorneys office and ask about filing a Emergency Custody Petition and go before a judge and ask to have the child transferred into our custody without calling CPS.
I still advise you to get an attorney and contact CPS. If you need any thing else email or post.

[nikkos]

Go to the court clerk and file a petition for modification to child custody using your original case number... have your ex served with the papers then, call child protective services, anonymously if necessary, and ASAP.

Pull yourself up by your boot straps, dearest! You can do this, its for your baby girl.
Kick his metaphorical booty and save your child from a disastrous future.

[s_cianci]

Your best bet may be to contact that branch of Social Services for your state that oversees issues of children's welfare. Discuss all of your concerns with them, particularly where your ex's abuse of your daughter is concerned (failure to seek medical attention when necessary, failure to provide adequate schooling, unsanitary living conditions, etc.) Then state that you have a ready and willing home available. You may have to undergo some scrutiny and red tape but in the long run it will probably prove to be more expeditious and less expensive than going through the courts on your own. Understand that once they step in, they technically become your daughter's "guardian", but having your home readily available as a safe haven will relieve them of the responsibility for her and make one less case that they have to worry about. You may have to attend hearings periodically but as long as you consistently provide a good and healthy home these will just become formalities. Any contesting that your ex may wish to do will have to be against them and they're a lot stronger than he is.

[fredg]

Hi,
What are you doing; replying to a Post that is 2 months old?
Can't you find enough new posts to reply to?
fredg

[liondalu]

I have a 14 year old daughter and she needs to come and live with me. She had scabies for two months and my x never took her or the rest of the family to the doctor the minute I found out I took them to the doctor right away and he said they had them so I bought their medicine and when I called my x he said " I thought that's what it was" so I also bought their medicine too. For him , his new wife and their daughter so my kids wouldn't get them again and again. I have called alot of lawyers and they have not at all sounded sympithetic with my case. I have a very strong case and my x even says he won't win. I wrote him a letter 2 months ago giving reason why she should come and live at my house and he still hasnt given me an answer. I am really trying to be grown up about this and he refuses to do whats best for our daughter she doesn't get along with anyone there. My x has never had a job and his wife works for a little more than minimum wage and not to sound better then him but my new husband and I both have good jobs he is an electritian and I am a hairdresser. I am getting really depressed and I just wish that he would think about our daughter and not about having controll over me. We have joint custody but they reside with him. He home schooled her not last year but the year before and she told me that she did 20 pages of math all year and watched he sisters baby the rest of the time. Needless to say she flunked out of school last year and she needs a chance. I just wish he would give her an oppurtunity to live a life where she will have the potential to do well in life. Last time I was at there house I walked in and there was a goat and goat droppings on the floor the smell was so bad that my husband and I had to leave. He is always saying sexual coments to me when no one is around and his e-mail address is my childhood nickname and my age. I really think there is something wrong with that. I know I have rattled on and on and I am just at my witts end. I know that I need to hire an attorney but I would like to keep it as enixpensive as possible. If anyone has any ideas please let me know. I love my children and they mean so much to me and I want what's best for them and living with him is not it. PLEASE HELP!!

. Go to the family and children services and tell them what your daughter is having to live like, I know they will be of help in getting her home with you. :)

[staresina3]

First of all, she's 14. What is the legal age in your state that a child can make a decision of where she wants to live. Second, call social services. In New Hampshire they stink so I wish you luck, then if you have shared custody why does he have them most of the time. Every time he violates his court custody order by refusing you visitation, take him back to court for contempt. You don't need a lawyer for that. If he can prove that he has them most of the time, he can take you back to court for full custody. You wouldn't want that. Plus, if you feel the child is not being taken care of, you have the right to with hold that child from him. Just find out what the laws are in your area first he could turn it around on you and put you in contempt for withholding the children. Can you take pictures? Get letters from the doctors. I would find the closest Women's crisis center, they should be able to help you. THe medical field and the schools may be able to help too.