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nick88 · Jul 23, 2007, 07:39 PM

Hi I need some advice for my relationship.

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now and I'm heading for my second year in college. I love my boyfriend very much. I think I'm in love and he is pretty much in love with me. Ever since high school I told myself I would be living the single life in college and having fun, but I met him and everyone told me to give him a chance and so I did. But the thing is that I broke up with three times but I kept going back to him. He never cheated on me, I just kept going back to the idea of being single again and that is why I broke up with him. But then I thought about him and I couldn't do that to him. He always talks about our future, of how we are going to get married and stuff. He always jokes around and I can never take him seriously. He also makes me feel like a low life at times. He sometimes crticizes some things and he never wants to do things related with my friends. There is just something about him I don't know. I no I can do better in terms of looks but its not about the looks rite? Sometimes I love him sometimes I hate him. I'm very confused. But I want to be single because if I don't break up with him and end up marrying him I'm always going to have that "what if" statement. But then if I break up with him for the fourth time I don't if he is going to get back with me afterwards if I realize that he is the one. He says I'm the one and he never wants to let me go. Im going on vacation with him for two weeks and that's what is making me stay with him until then. What should I do? I need advice!

alsmiley · Jul 23, 2007, 08:41 PM

Wow, you are still so young!!

Enjoy your life first. If you are not sure that he is the one, then he most probably is not. Plus it's never a good thing staying with someone who criticizes the things you do and does not want to participate in activities that include your friends (this is only acceptable if he is really shy).

You know something, he says he wants to be with forever "now". Who knows he may even be the one to break it off one day and you know what... you would have wasted the best years of your life.

Have you explained your feelings to him, maybe even told him that maybe you should take a break for a while, assuring him that this does not mean breaking up for good- just a breather because you are still young, even tell him your focusing on your studdies for a while.

Regret is a state of mind anyway. You only regret what might have been if you glorify what might have been. When you find the right person you'll know and you won't have any of these dilemmas nor will you have any regrets. All relationships take work, but none should torment you as much as this.

modular01 · Jul 23, 2007, 08:45 PM

I think that you just answered your own question in the respect that you have A lot of doubt. Having that much doubt isn't a good sign. Be true to your feelings (and also not to lead him on if you feel the way you do, take it from someone that knows; being led on hurts when you love someone).

You still have your whole life ahead of you. If you are having doubts like you are, it's better to end it instead of dragging it out.

mckenzie134 · Jul 23, 2007, 09:23 PM

I hope you dump him and then you regret it. You sound like a bit**ch and a user. Hope he doesn't come back, you don't know what yourve got till its gone. Go out and find some other jerk to treat you like you deserved and then you might get dUMPED AND TRY RUN BACK TO YOUR EX WHO TREATS YOU GREAT. PROBLEM WITH GIRLS NEVER NO WHAT THEY WANT UNTIL THEY Don't HAVE IT.

sarah1989 · Jul 23, 2007, 09:52 PM

That's a bit harsh don't you think!

alsmiley · Jul 23, 2007, 10:03 PM

I see you've been a dumpee.

I'm not so sure that you would want to be with a girl who was not certain that she wanted to be with you. You should have more self respect and place your efforts in someone who really wants you.

huno · Jul 23, 2007, 10:18 PM

I can see mckenzie134's going to take a lot of flak for his post, but I'm going to absorb some of the sh!t that will be shat and consequently flung: I agree with him...

... in that a lot of girls don't appreciate a good thing when they have it. nick88 (are you a girl named nick?) mentions some superficialities concerning whether she should stay (can do better on looks, wants to be single and have a good time).

To me, a good relationship is very valuable. I value a relationship more than adhering to the stereotypical "college experience." To me, hooking up with random girls at parties every weekend is just not appealing. I didn't have wild college years--I spent them studying, working hard, dating one girl at a time and only with nice, mature and sensible girls.

But that's just me and my desires. Nick's is to live it up, and I'm going to have to say to you, nick, that it's best you drop your BF and do your thing.

Why?

Well, for you, it's important to be single and have fun. That's what you want. It's evident throughout your post. If you don't, you may regret it for the rest of your life, and if you do marry this guy and carry this regret into the marriage, it will only end badly.

Worse still are the short-term possibilities: your desire to party and be single and be with guys will grow until the point you cheat on him--and it'll end right then and there anyway.

Honestly, I see a no-win situation for your BF. You got to do what you got to do--just make sure you do it the right way.

You may all launch your feces now. :D

SAB123 · Jul 24, 2007, 05:42 AM

If you have any doubt I would let him go. And do not go back to him when you reallize you made a mistake. My ex fiancé broke up with me 6 times. 3 of them and now this one have been months until she came back. And it still hurts this one and every damn breakup she did with me. I would let him go and for good if you broke up with 4 times already sounds to me you are going to string him along until you find someone better or until your done partying.