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Dumped and still in love · Jul 16, 2007, 06:55 AM

He broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We agreed on no contact until we are over each other. However, he has smsed me at least once every week (3 times in total): He informed me of a theatre production that I would enjoy (sms), to tell me that we'd spent 2 weeks apart (sms), and the last time was to tell me about an interesting website (IM).

Is he regreting his decision?

He broke up with me out of the blue and when I asked him why, he seemed to be making up an excuse to justify his actions. I suspect he broke up with me at the spur of the moment, since we had a little tiff, but is now too stubborn to admit his mistake.

Should I do something?

GoldieMae · Jul 16, 2007, 06:59 AM

Dependong on how well you know him, have you considered asking him if he misses you? Maybe ask him: "I was wondering, since we said no contact, does it mean you miss me?" I seriously doubt this guy is over you.

huno · Jul 16, 2007, 07:20 AM

He may have had a reason to break up with you that he couldn't tell you about, such as interest in another girl. That is probably unlikely, but it may be. I mention this because I think it's strange that he broke up without giving you a good reason.

In any case, though, he may want to get back together. Why not be the one to suggest it? We men are ego-driven creatures... we don't like to admit mistakes, and so we're grateful when girls let us weasel out of responsibility for our blunders.

Tell him you want to give it another shot. It couldn't hurt.

nicespringgirl · Jul 16, 2007, 08:07 AM

I hate it when there is mind games and all the guesses... it seems relationship is so complicated, I don't know if I am interested in guys any more!
Maybe I should go back being ambitious like no one's business, forcus on work!!

talaniman · Jul 16, 2007, 08:15 AM

First off, how do you feel and do you still have feelings for him?? Make up to break up over a tiff, is not a good sign that you work together to solve your differences. This will happen again, and are you going to break up again? Have you resolved the tiff or ignored it? If not, it will be back.

Dumped and still in love · Jul 17, 2007, 09:47 AM

Hi everyone. Thanks for the replies! Here's an update of the situation:

I asked if he did want to get back together with me, and he started telling me about how miserable life is without me and that he thinks he might going in to a depression.

Then he said that although he was the one to break up with me, he shouldn't be deciding everything in the relationship. So he said that I was to decide if we should get back together. But that came with a warning, "You will be responsible for my actions in the future that are a result of my unfulfilled desires, should you choose to get back together with me." His unfulfilled desires being the things he wants, but that I do not possess.

He said that since we're both already 20, if we get back together, he will surely marry me. Then he asked me to give him reasons as to why he should marry me, to "CONVINCE" him...

I think he doesn't know what he wants, but is too much of a coward to admit it. And he's too much of a coward to admit his mistake. Why should I have to beg him to get back together with me? If anyone should be begging, it should be him.

Capuchin · Jul 17, 2007, 09:59 AM

Ouch, he's saying a lot of strange things that don't make sense.

You're absolutely right. You need to prove nothing to him. I say you start no-contact again. For his sake. He needs to heal. And I'm sur eyou need to a little too.

Dumped and still in love · Jul 17, 2007, 10:20 PM

Should I check on him and ask if everything is fine at home? His reason for not wanting to be together with me is not very consistent. Plus, he's so depressed now without me.

drmskhalil · Jul 17, 2007, 11:39 PM

'Nobody is perfect'-This is a fact. Everybody has some flaws. I think he misses you, that is why he contacted you even after breaking up with you, but there may be some mistakes on your part which must be corrected. Nobody breaks up without a reason, there may be some things troubling him, but because he loves you, he couldn't stay without contacting you. I think you must ask him what the things are, discuss the problems and then decide if you want to restart the relation or not. I wish you all the best anyway and hope this answer helps!

AKaeTrue · Jul 17, 2007, 11:49 PM

I'm not so sure I'd suggest for you (or anyone) to be with someone who feels
That they don't fulfill their every desire because of the things they don't have...
Plus he wants you to convince him to be with you... thats wrong.
Those are some pretty mean comments.

You know more about him and his situation and if you wanted to call and check on him it would be a nice gesture on your part:D

talaniman · Jul 18, 2007, 04:56 AM

Originally Posted by Dumped and still in love

Should I check on him and ask if everything is fine at home? His reason for not wanting to be together with me is not very consistent. Plus, he's so depressed now without me.

Leave this knucklehead alone. His terms are unreasonable, and his pity tactics are obvious, and pathetic. If you go for this okedoke, he will have all the control he needs to make you miserable. Of course he is depressed without you. Because your not doing things his way. Why should you? I know you can find some one who is more mature, and caring. It ain't him.

nicespringgirl · Jul 18, 2007, 05:01 AM

He needs some personal growth! I don't think he's emotionally strong at least.

Capuchin · Jul 18, 2007, 05:02 AM

You should be with someone who loves you for who you are.
You should NOT be with someone who loves you for "what you could be you do what I say".

ordinaryguy · Jul 18, 2007, 05:48 AM

Originally Posted by Dumped and still in love

So he said that I was to decide if we should get back together. But that came with a warning, "You will be responsible for my actions in the future that are a result of my unfulfilled desires, should you choose to get back together with me." His unfulfilled desires being the things he wants, but that I do not possess.

What a load of crap! Trying to threaten you with responsibility for what he might do in the future because of his unfulfilled desires. Run far, far away from this guy. He's an emotional child, and until he grows up he's a danger to himself and others.

Originally Posted by Dumped and still in love

He said that since we're both already 20, if we get back together, he will surely marry me. Then he asked me to give him reasons as to why he should marry me, to "CONVINCE" him...

Another load of crap. "Already 20"? Like that means you have to get married right away? And trying to make you convince him? Give me a break.

Originally Posted by Dumped and still in love

I think he doesn't know what he wants, but is too much of a coward to admit it. And he's too much of a coward to admit his mistake. Why should I have to beg him to get back together with me? if anyone should be begging, it should be him.

He's a spoiled child. Get him out of your life, out of your head, and out of your heart. Find someone who's at least as mature a you are.

nicespringgirl · Jul 18, 2007, 05:53 AM

Originally Posted by ordinaryguy

What a load of crap! Trying to threaten you with responsibility for what he might do in the future because of his unfulfilled desires. Run far, far away from this guy. He's an emotional child, and until he grows up he's a danger to himself and others.

Another load of crap. "Already 20"? Like that means you have to get married right away? And trying to make you convince him? Give me a break.

He's a spoiled child. Get him out of your life, out of your head, and out of your heart. Find someone who's at least as mature a you are.

Right!
And "already 20"? So what? You guys are still young, not a right time to get married any way. I think guys at at age, most of them are still as mature as we are(at the same age). Maybe you should try to find someone who is mature and older.

Dumped and still in love · Jul 19, 2007, 03:49 AM

I never knew him to be such an . His words that day really hurt me. But as ridiculous as it is, I still want him back. Sigh... I'm just taking it one day at a time.