[Damaged923]

Ill try to make this short and sweet but it might take awhile!! Please bear with me I'm still new to this, and have never posted anything before! I've fallen for a former co-worker that is now married... ive known him for almost 3 years now, but just recently starting talking... from the moment I met him years ago I always had a thing for him, and then after working together we became kind of close... but I had just ended a bad relationship and needed some "ME" time and would never date someone I work with... soo nothing ever happened (and I never led on to the fact that I would have been interested)... he eventually left my place of employment but still came in from time to time to socialize with everyone... I saw him about last year for the first time in months and he told me he was getting married... and I was shocked! He was marrying his daughters mother... BUT didn't want to... so we had sat and talked about it for awhile, and I told him that he needs to do whatever he feels is right... but marriage is a HUGE commitment... we ended that conversation as I wished him well and to take care of himself... well fast forward to this year... I had been a few relationships here and there but nothing serious... still wasn't fully over my ex... been through therapy and a lot of praying to finally close that door of my past... and just as I make that confirmation... here comes my previous co-worker... I bartend at a restaurant and he slowly started coming in on my Friday night shifts... we always had small talk-but I heard that he actually did go through with marrying her... so I asked one night "hows married life treating you??" and his response was "do u see a ring on my finger (as he held up his hands)?" and I proceeded to ask what happened? He said they were getting a divorce after only 5mths of marriage and that everyone was right he should have never gone through with it... but at the time he thought it was the best thing to do for his daughter and now he sleeps on the couch and everyday is a battle... He then asks me if we can go for a drink after work... and respond that I was going to have a drink, and he could go but we would NOT being having a drink together... I was in a relationship where I was cheated on and wouldn't disrespect another woman like that... he asked for my number, I refused to give it to him but I took his... (no intentions on calling) went out after work and he never showed up... no loss to me... the next night I went out, drank too much and texted him (I KNOW I KNOW I'm a drunk dialer/texter) well we were texting back and forth for a few days... and then he asked if he could call me... I said sure why not... we then spent hours talking about his relationship and my past... he then asked me to come over to his brothers house for a picnic so we could talk face to face... I went willing know that I needed someone to talk to about my recent independence... since that picnic we have been inseparable... talking off and on during the day... goin out for drinks and spending some time together... I express my thoughts on not getting involved with his situtation and that he needs to decide what he wants... weeks go by and every day I have become more and more attached... I know that people say this phrase alll the time but I have never felt this way about someone before... he has broke down everywall around my heart... and given me hope to having that fairy tale relationship... BUT here's where the reality sets in and my real issues start... hes still there taking care of his disabled daughter... he packed all of he's things and was leaving when the wife threw their daughter into... and said "tell daddy bye you dont know when youll see him again"... that absolutely made me sick to hear... who does that to a child?. I haven't pressured his motives or decisions but stood there for support... the wife works all day, he's there taking care of the house (cooking cleaning the whole 9) then he works at night (she belittles him for not having a degree but he still makes more than she does) and then I spend time with him whenever we can fit it into our schedules... :( SOO now I have fallen completely in love with him and feel that he will never leave his family... I never expected NOR wanted this to happen... but it has... I am a very religious person and know how terribly wrong this is... and that I am committing one the worse sins... and that people will probably judge me and think that I'm an awful person for letting this get to this point... I know there are two sides to every story but I'm so lost as to what I should do... any input or comments would be greatly appreicated... thanks for your time and listening ear... take care and god bless!

[talaniman]

Well he has done what so many have done before him gotten your sympathy and preyed on your loneliness. Stop having sex with him, and stop making excuses for bad behaviour.

[cschang]

He is having his cake and he is eating it too! He is having sex with you without ever need to give you any kind of commitment. Besides, words are cheap, are you sure he didn't just make up half of that story to get you in bed with him? Trust me, men would do that. I have no doubt that he is not happy with his marriage. Otherwise, he will not time for you. But many men would want to have everything they can possibly get. You deserve more and you need to tell yourself that.

[Bluerose]

I have no doubt that he is not happy with his marriage. You need to ask yourself how his marriage became so unhappy - has he done this before. One partner is never deserving of all the blame. I feel for his poor wife and children.