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    richsaha2007's Avatar
    richsaha2007 Posts: 53, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jul 9, 2007, 07:46 AM
    Should I tell her
    I have been in a relationship for almost two years and I can never be happier. A long-term female friend (approved by girlfriend) asked me to go drinking with her. I said okay, I only saw her as a sister, nothing else. I didn’t drink much since I drove, but she got drunk. While driving her home, she started talking nonsense and more nonsense about her activities. On her driveway, she took off her seat belt and jumped on me, biting on my neck and kissing on me. I tried to unbuckle my belt, but her knee was on my hand. So I felt like I couldn’t do anything. I managed to push her off by putting my free hand on her face and pushing her. I told her that it wasn’t appropriate and that it was assault. She thought it was so funny. When I got home, I had a torn shirt, with minor scratches on my back, and a huge heckie on my neck. I won’t see my girl until the end of the week. What should I do? I can’t complain because other guys are going to think I’m a punk for resisting a beautiful woman. What should I do?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jul 9, 2007, 08:05 AM
    Be straight with her about being assaulted by a drunk and never get in that situation again. Forget what other guys say they tend to be unrealistic idiots.
    Tuscany's Avatar
    Tuscany Posts: 1,049, Reputation: 229
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    #3

    Jul 9, 2007, 08:13 AM
    I agree with Tal. Be honest with her. Tell her that you were assulted, that you pushed her away. Then stay away from that other girl. To put yourself in that situation again is not fair to your girl.
    richsaha2007's Avatar
    richsaha2007 Posts: 53, Reputation: 6
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    #4

    Jul 9, 2007, 09:13 AM
    Let me describe my girlfriend to you guys. Her ex-boyfriend cheated on her while he went out of town. Now she has this pre-mindset that all guys cheat. I'm showing her that not all guys are bad. If I tell her this, it will seriously put our relationship on the rocks. We have never been in a serious argument during our relationship. What if she accuses me of cheating on her? How can we resolve this? This girl is truly a dream girl and if I lose her, I am going to be disappointed. I can't hide the heckie, so eventually she is going to find out. The problem is how I should tell her.
    Troubled Teen 13's Avatar
    Troubled Teen 13 Posts: 14, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Jul 9, 2007, 09:20 AM
    .be straight with her. tell her about your friend. its better hearing the truth from you instead of her finding the heckie and asking you why you didnt tell her.
    Pippa_t's Avatar
    Pippa_t Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jul 9, 2007, 09:45 AM
    If you don't tell her she will find out and she will definitely assume the worst - the only thing you can do is be open and honest and hope that she has enough trust and belief in you to work through the doubt she is likely to feel...
    myronman's Avatar
    myronman Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jul 9, 2007, 09:50 AM
    Yes since there are definitely signs of it happening. I would sit your girl down and explain to her what happened. Now, if you know that she will not allow you to hang out with your friend anymore, you're going to have to be prepared for that when you initiate the conversation.
    Shaunta's Avatar
    Shaunta Posts: 204, Reputation: 8
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    #8

    Jul 9, 2007, 09:51 AM
    If You Don't Tell Her Your Making It Look Like It's a Big Secret... If Nothing Is Going On Between You And The "crazy Lady" Then You Need To Tell Your Girlfriend What Happened... Don't Make The Same Mistake I Made... With Me Not Tellling My Boyfriend What Happenend He Called Me A Liar And A Cheater And Broke Up With Me... You Don't Want That Do You?
    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
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    #9

    Jul 9, 2007, 09:59 AM
    Yeh tell your mrs! You didn't do anything wrong did u?
    richsaha2007's Avatar
    richsaha2007 Posts: 53, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Jul 9, 2007, 10:11 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jiser
    Yeh tell your mrs! You didnt do anything wrong did u?

    No, I didn't do anything with that girl. I introduced her and my girl also. My girl knows about her. I have known this "crazy person" for 7 years. I definity did not expect that to happen th way it did. I'm at work right now with a icepack on my neck to heal the heckie. I asked one of my male friends for advice. After he told me what a punk I was for denying p*&^%, he told me I shuld mention it to her. Also, he said I should do it face to face
    Nohitter410's Avatar
    Nohitter410 Posts: 187, Reputation: 50
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    #11

    Jul 9, 2007, 10:17 AM
    Definitely do it face to face. The key is you can't lie here because ultimately she will find out. She has trust issues and so does my girl and last thing you want is to keep this from her. Be like I know you told me it was OK to go out with this girl and you approved but even though she has been my friend for awhile I feel like I can't and shouldn't see her for awhile. She will respond why so then tell her the story and say it is tough for me to tell you this because I honestly never thought she would do something like this. Drunk or not she had no excuse and I won't put you in that situation again. She will be pissed but if she loves you she will understand. If this friend of yours is such a good friend maybe you could even have her verify or something along those lines. But definitely no more alone time with this friend and never see her again unless your girl is around. At least for awhile until the trust is there even though you did nothing wrong.

    One more thing dude... just because your girlfriend approves to your face doesn't mean she approved in her head. Doesn't mean you can't life your life and have fun but why go out drinking and put yourself in that situation. Women want what they can't have and she has been a friend and sees other women want you so she couldn't resist. Think more next time.
    stefani1's Avatar
    stefani1 Posts: 47, Reputation: 4
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    #12

    Jul 9, 2007, 10:20 AM
    Ahahah I'm sorry the ice pack thiing cracked me up I can picture it! Lol. OK well I kind of agree with everyone that you should let her know about what happened, but the only thing is that I can't help but feel as though she may not believe the story? I mean I am trying to picture if my boyfriend told me this situation, what would I think. Of course I would give credit for him telling me. I guess I'm thinking, if you didn't have signs of it happening, would you say anything to her at all? Or are you telling only because you think she will notice the hickie and go from there? I mean your doing the right thing by telling her the truth but I guess it all depends on what type of girl your girlfriend is. But, I guess by the signs of her letting you go out with another girl solo she is not the jealous type and she will most likely understand.
    p.s. tell your friends to piss off. Lol! Gosh why do guys have to be like that.
    Inspired's Avatar
    Inspired Posts: 178, Reputation: 22
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    #13

    Jul 9, 2007, 10:33 AM
    I don't understand how you got the hickie if she wasn't sucking on your neck? You did not mention any neck sucking. Also how did you get scratches on your back? ARe you telling us the whole truth richsaha?
    richsaha2007's Avatar
    richsaha2007 Posts: 53, Reputation: 6
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    #14

    Jul 9, 2007, 10:36 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by stefani1
    ahahah im sorry the ice pack thiing cracked me up I can picture it! lol. ok well I kind of agree with everyone that you should let her know about what happened, but the only thing is that I can't help but feel as though she may not believe the story? I mean I am trying to picture if my boyfriend told me this situation, what would I think. Of course I would give credit for him telling me. I guess im thinking, if you didnt have signs of it happening, would you say anything to her at all? or are you telling only because you think she will notice the hickie and go from there? I mean your doing the right thing by telling her the truth but I guess it all depends on what type of girl your girlfriend is. But, i guess by the signs of her letting you go out with another girl solo she is not the jealous type and she will most likely understand.
    p.s. tell your friends to piss off. lol! gosh why do guys have to be like that.
    I see exactly what you mean. Even if I didn't have the "evidence" on me, I still would have told her because it will eventually come out. That how my guy friends are.
    Shaunta's Avatar
    Shaunta Posts: 204, Reputation: 8
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    #15

    Jul 9, 2007, 11:07 AM
    Well Let Us Know What Happen When You Tell Her
    richsaha2007's Avatar
    richsaha2007 Posts: 53, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #16

    Jul 9, 2007, 11:21 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Inspired
    I dont understand how you got the hickie if she wasnt sucking on your neck? You did not mention any neck sucking. Also how did you get scratches on your back? ARe you telling us the whole truth richsaha?
    Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a heckie. It is more like a bite mark. I just didn't see it coming. The first thing she did was go after my neck. I got the scratches because when I tried to get her off me, her nails was in my back (didn't leave any bad marks on it). Why would I embellish the story? I'm online talking to unbiased people. There is no reason for me to lie at all. I'm just on here looking for some objectivity.
    stefani1's Avatar
    stefani1 Posts: 47, Reputation: 4
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    #17

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:18 AM
    well I do understand how the marks got there as well. I was just a bit skeptical as to your girlfriend believing it. I mean you don't want to cause any type of distrust in the relationship either you know? Just be careful in how you tell the story of what happened. You should be OK =)

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