[self_lnflicted_hell]

Am I just having a hard time with the way a relationship moves on from always touchy feely to being more comfortable or is it normal for a woman to feel so empty and alone after 2 years because the man is lacking in affection and emotion? I need to know if I'm expecting too much or being too pushy or are a majority of women like this.
We've been together, like I previously said, for 2 years. It's been wonderful except for the emotional part of our relationship. I don't need or want for anything except attention. I know that guys are not at all like us women, were more open with our feelings. In the 2 years, he's given me flowers once. He blames this on not having a vehicle to go get them himself while he can run with his buddies to bike shops and go on beer runs whenever. He's initiated sex MAYBE 5 times in the whole 2 years, and 5 is probably pushing it. We went 6 WEEKS once because I was tired of being the initiator so I wanted to see what would happen... Exactly that, nothing. When he does hold me or kiss me and when we do have sex there is a lot of feeling from him, it's not just "Ok, let's get this done and over with" but I ALWAYS have to go to him. Do you realise what this does to a woman?!
When we first met it was the whole shebang "I'll always make you feel my love" and "I'll never let you down" Well, not too long after I guess he got comfortable way before I did because I've been longing for a loooong time.
I try to tell him how I feel but he gets angry, says he doesn't want to argue and complains that I'm b*tch*ng too much. Now, mind you, my sense of talking is his arguing.
All I want is that occasional "You're beautiful" or to be grabbed up and kissed and held, feel the emotion. I know he's a man, I know he's not the same as me emotionally. But why does he have to be so d*mn stubborn!
For example, the other day I left him a comment saying how much I still felt for him and how he's still my everything. No reply, nothing. I ask him for some sort of response, ANYTHING and all he can say is how he was too hung over and how I'd expect him to read all that (cause he hates reading) but then goes and tries posting a comment to a chick friend of his! Nothing serious, just a stupid joke thing but still! He doesn't have the time to respond at all to mine but can leave her one! What the sh*t!
I do know, with everything that I have, that he loves me, he's with me and that he won't cheat. But it's just the sense that I feel unattractive, unadored and unappreciated. And I try not to nag so much for fear that my nagging will only push him away.
I don't want to leave him but my feelings are slowly dwindling away. I will not cheat and I will not go out looking for attention from other men but I will be pushed away from him and just not care anymore. I don't want that to happen.
Here's a little story that's kind of funny but definitely wasn't at the time.
I have 2 kids, both girls, 9 & 8.. About a week ago I had an appt. out of town so he watched the kids. They were wonderful for him (of course) but as soon as I came in it was "Mommy! Mommy!" and they were stuck to me like glue again, fighting, rowdy as could be. He says "They were so quiet and good while you were gone" (all mothers know how that goes) Anyway, so he goes back upstairs on the comp. comes down about 10 minutes later, looks at me and says "Ya know what I think you should do?" I say "What's that?" he says "I think you should leave"
My heart dropped to my toes, I started shaking and tears welled up in my eyes and I'm like "What?!?!" He starts laughing, looking all confused and says "No, not leave, go back to _____(where i'd been)" Oh, My, God... I was so scared! Just the way things have been between us, so touchy you know? Scared the crap out of me! He asked me why I'd even think he meant it that way so I told him why, that it's been rocky between us for a while and that he's been pretty much absent in the emotion department. I don't know. I use to look at his history, constantly, when I finally set it so it wouldn't save anymore. I would log into his accounts and check his messages (with his consent, since he knows that I know his passwords) He doesn't hide anything... As far as I know anyway. But, almost every single night I go to bed hours before him because he sits up all night on the computer. I always wonder what it is that he's doing. But I wouldn't know since everything gets erased once you close the browser. So then I start wondering. There is A lot more that I could share but this is long enough. I guess I really don't have a question except for what I asked in the beginning but I'd just like some insight, maybe from males since they're all pretty much hard wired all the same.
Yes, I show him attention. Yes, I've kept up with my appearance these 2 years. No, I don't do anything that would make him doubt me and my love & loyalty to him. What else is there that could be asked of me... Hmmmm... We go out a lot together, do things together. Were each others confidant and best friend. He's just lost that loving feeling that he once had. There's so much else going on that I feel like I have to compete with (4 wheelers & friends) and honestly, I'm getting pretty tired of it. I used to cry but since I'm starting to not care as much, the tears won't come, I get so angry and frustrated sometimes. He has enough time to play outside with his friends and to sit on the comp. for hours but when it comes to me, oh, he's too hot or he's too sweaty or he's too tired, blah blah blah. K, here's a question I just thought of. Why is it that many of us women make our man and our home our life, we'd do anything we have to just to make sure that they're happy and satisfied but when it comes to the man they forget where they're home truly is and they forget who it is that they truly have to live for. That one person who desperately needs their love and affection. They think "Oh, Im here, I don't cheat & I'm not going anywhere so why do I have to show you any love any more, you should just know" Blah Blah Blah... It's b*llsh*t. Whatever, I'm making myself get angry now.. LOL
I just want to kick him in the knee and say "Give me attention now or I'm out!"
Thanks for reading if you actually made it this far :) It just felt really good to get this out.
Oh man, I just thought of one more thing, He asks why I have to b*tch so much, I ask what is there really to NOT b*tch about??

[Dennis777]

Hello.

Sending you a Great Big HUg...

It's not you, in fact it's not him its normal for couples to do this until they learn to keep the spark going. Now that your opening the door just take a step in and lets see if we can help you get that spark back so he starts thinking about you more then his buddies.

It's not going to change overnight so relax and take it slow. The first thing is to get him hooked of sexual excitement. Then you can build from there.

One of the ways I like to tell Ladies is get him to take you to dinner or the mall. Anyplace out of the house. Without him knowing it you don't wear anything under your dress. When you get in the parking lot and out of the car you whisper in his ear that you are naked under your dress just for him. If you can flash him or let him feel you. Not much just a little to get him going. Now as the day goes on keep reminding him that your naked for him. Maybe whisper what your going to do to him later. Many times asking to stop at the market on the way home will drive him crazy because all he wants to do is get you home.

Now each time you want him to take you out he is going to wonder if he has a gift waiting for him hehehe. Don't give him that gift each time. There are things you can add to this like a camera or a motel room.

Before long he will be looking forward to the games and will be making some of his own. Make it a real game where you take turns thinking up the rules. Remember Foreplay is the most exciting part of Love Making if done right so enjoy the time it takes to plan the games and make that time as sexual for yourself as possible.

Have Fun
Dennis777

[self_lnflicted_hell]

Hello.

Sending you a Great Big HUg...

It's not you, in fact it's not him its normal for couples to do this until they learn to keep the spark going. Now that your opening the door just take a step in and lets see if we can help you get that spark back so he starts thinking about you more then his buddies.

It's not going to change overnight so relax and take it slow. The first thing is to get him hooked of sexual excitement. Then you can build from there.

One of the ways i like to tell Ladies is get him to take you to dinner or the mall. Anyplace out of the house. Without him knowing it you don't wear anything under your dress. When you get in the parking lot and out of the car you whisper in his ear that you are naked under your dress just for him. If you can flash him or let him feel you. Not much just a little to get him going. Now as the day goes on keep reminding him that your naked for him. Maybe whisper what your going to do to him later. Many times asking to stop at the market on the way home will drive him crazy because all he wants to do is get you home.

Now each time you want him to take you out he is going to wonder if he has a gift waiting for him hehehe. Don't give him that gift each time. There are things you can add to this like a camera or a motel room.

Before long he will be looking forward to the games and will be making some of his own. Make it a real game where you take turns thinking up the rules. Remember Foreplay is the most exciting part of Love Making if done right so enjoy the time it takes to plan the games and make that time as sexual for yourself as possible.

Have Fun
Dennis777

Oh my goodness, it would be wonderful if I knew that he couldn't get his mind off me! Or what he could do to me, for that matter. Maybe that could be one part in why were losing touch, were not very romantic, never have been. We only EVER had sex once a week, keeps it alive because I know from past relationships, too much is just too much and it stops being fun and starts being a chore. So yeah, when we do have sex it's wonderful. But yeah, like I said, were not very romantic at all. I guess I should start getting busy :D Thanks for the reply too, BTW