[peachy77]

I don't know if anyone has read my first post I listed, but over the weekend, I had a nervous breakdown and went to the hospital. Luckily, I didn't have to stay because I'm not suicidal, but they did prescribe some anti-depressants and some sleeping pills. I just feel truly heartbroken and on Saturday I just fell apart. Does anyone see my life looking up? Last month I lost 15 pounds because I'm having a hard time eating, I can't sleep, and I can't concentrate. I just feel so helpless. Does anyone see my white light through this pitch black tunnel I'm in?
D.O.B 08/08/77 born at 8:12 a.m :(

[ranieri]

Dear little heart,
Your life is not over. In fact its just beginning. Sounds cliché, but its true. I don't want to push you over the edge, but its only a man, unless something else is going on in your life to make you feel so disturbed.
Breakdowns, happen to the best of us and signal a huge change in your life period.
You can not stand the way you've been living, the way y ouve grown up. That is one reason why you feel a kinship to this man. Because he has the same dyfunction in his background that you have and that is allll you have in common.
No more drama, miss leo. Get it out of, or him out of your system, cry release it all. But he is not all that you are crying for. I know you feel as though you let yourself down too, a little. But can you believ that it really will get better?
But not before everything literally crumbles down around you. The life you have made for yourself is not fulfilling you. You've outgrown the ex. You learned all that there was to the relationship and it was time to mov e on.
Your life in every aspect, and I'm mean evry thing is about to change. Your lifestyle, your career, your place where you live, who you hang out withis all going to change.
Because you asked for this change, and change is hard. It comes fast. You may feel like you just stood up and brushed yourself off from the last time... And bam here it comes again.
Youcan and you will face it, handle it, roll with the punches like a pro. Because that's the kind of person you are. Period. Nothing but strength. Yes you. I know you feel weak and exhausted but its you baby.
Pull yourself up, dust yourself off, straighten your best wig and hold on tight. As I said you asked for a better life before you came here. And mr dump you man was a wake up call that you set up for yourself from the other side. It was like you said,"ok by this point in my next life this is what I want to have accomplished, this is where I need to be to get this goal done.
And while you were sleepng and for some months now your soul has been nudging you to move on, make this change. This is not conducive to your souls goals. So god looks down and says peachy,why are you stuck all the way back there. I need you all the way over here by me, where you will do the most good for your cause" And so you go.
What is happening to you is exactly what is supposed to be happening to you. NNOOOO you are not suicidal, upset yes. Move on, never suicidal, its something you've never even joked about. In spite of practically raising yourself. And if you sit back and think too much, and we all do from time to time, it sucks, it hurts,I want to cry real hard out loud, doesn't any body care,doesn't anybody hear me. Let it out, don't dwell move on.
Wipe your tears, take the dog out for a walk and just... breathe...
You are a healer, you will do better for yourself this time. And you need to find your gift and get working on it . You and your craft are in much need in the world today.
Pray, that's when we ask for what we want.
Meditate, that is when you get your answers. Peace ranieri

[ranieri]

One more thing, you felt a kinship to this man because you've been together many previos lifetimes.. and when one soul recognizes another,maybe its been a few eons since you last saw one another,. and the souls recognize each other,""hey where have you been,good to see you. Ive been looking so long"
Lots of relationships get together like this, especially when there is a pregnancy rright away. Not always but most of the time.
He was looking for you cuase he missed tormenting you. Every lifetime you two were together it failed. Just like this,he pulled out of the relationship at the last minute.
And it hurts terrible this time because, you've been doing this same hurt over and over again.it burns it hutrs so bad.
In order to not keep living ou this same karma, you have to make these big correct changes in you life. Or you will keep being weak and be subject to more abuse. Set your personal boundaries and stick with them. Make people respect you, or you won't have anything to do with them. Peace ranieri

[peachy77]

I would like to thank you for taking the time out to respond to both of my questions. I just recently realized how hard life can be and didn't like the person I became. Normally, I'm the type that bounces right through the obstacles that come my way, so I think this last case was a hard blow to the head. I'm still having a hard time coming to the terms with him no longer in my life, but I must move on. I am hurting all the time and I just feel this pain is not decreasing any. I have to find the strength and the courage I need to keep my head up and bring strong. I'm just so afraid of future heartaches. I don't think my heart can handle this again.

[CFarrish822]

OMG! I was just brousing around reading everyone's comments and concerns and came upon this one. I totally feel the way you do, to the tea, exactly. A lot of problems are crumbling down on me just like the psychic said. I feel I'm at my very low. No, suicide is not an option. Been there, done that, don't want to do it again. I have a 2 1/2 year old now that keeps me alive, however it is very hard. My husband wants a divorce, I sort of do too, but it's hard to let him go because I love him very much, but we are not made for each other. This will be best for me, him, and my daughter.

I am having a lot of fights with my mom which is more my best friend because I have recently entered into the music business. This weekend was supposed to be my first promotional trip and with my mother's negative attitudes about the trip because my producer, which is going with me, is a male. So I'm at the point where I just want to quit. I have only spent $80 to make a single and it's not even ready to be put out on the market, so therefore, I have nothing vested (invested, whatever).

Another thing, (told you that my world is crumbling), I got in a fight with my best friend and actually realized she is not a best friend. The problems started with my husband, then my mom and ever since I have been talking and leaning on my best friend's shoulder. She finally told me that she's tired of listening to my problems because I don't do anything about them. Some friend, huh? So I just told her I don't think we should be friends anymore and that hurts me because she did listen, I guess like she said, got tired of it, but I never once felt or told that to her when she was going through her issues. I just listened and gave her the best advice that I could give her.

So, as you can see, we all have problems, at one point, our world just crumbles so I'm glad that I ran across this post and I thought that what the psychic said was going to happen to me too since I'm going through a lot, my life is about to make a dramatic change as far as a divorce and I'm a leo too! Good luck to you, sweetheart! I hope that your next lifestyle is what you deserve!!

[ranieri]

You are right, that you both have similar energies going on.
As for you, lets see where to start, there is a lot going on around you to. That is putting it mildly!
This life time you are to learn to be indepedant. Yep, sometimes that sucks, sometimes. Mostly when you need a shoulder to vent on. No one understands you or gets you or wants to care, unless you are going to do something for them. And you have a lot of thems you take care of, wow. And its draining and rude of these people to take advantage of your poerful gift to heal, but they hurt and need your answers to. Ah the life of a healer.
Your mother tries to be more of a friend and this cannot be this way. She is mom so stop telling her every little thing. She is strong to some extent but cannot deal with your life and the way you want to live it. She operates a lot of the time out of fear and expects you to be as afraid as her.
Please don't get stuck like her. Please do not listen to her pleas of what to do or not to do. She will hold you back every time. Your best friends and relatives love you but, they do not always have your best intention at heart.
Like I said, you can get an offer to move to California, best job in the world,
Great place to live, the most optimum of conditions and you start asking friends or relatives for what they think you should do. The girlfriend knows this is the big it for you. You've beenwaiting fot an opportunity just like this and she says" Im so happy for you!(not) This is a grand opportunity and she starts thinking, but you wont be here when I need you, right here beside me. But she would never admit you should not go, instead she may come up with a million excuses as to why you shouldnt. Mom too.
Your husband, Loves you and you love him. Its been tough going for you two. But in his heart he does not want to leave. But the bickering has to stop. You both are very sensitve, very people and should not be talking to eachother in the harmful ways you do. There is alot of change,alot, alot, I cannot stress that enouhg to you, change going on around you both. And change is very hard, even for the most flexible person. And you both are pretty flexible. But its coming fast and hard every aspect of both of your lives. Hold on to each other tightly and go for it. Cos even if you 2 break up, you will still date and be intimate with each other. Even if you break up and marry other people you will continue to have an affair with each other. THIS IS LOVE! Why break up? SLOOOOOOWWWWWWWW down. Stop and smell the roses. I know its hard to do these days everything is so ege driven, but it will get better. As for the changes both of you are very intelligent, very, and you get bored easily and by being so sensitive, you both pick up on the others energy. You 2 are like spit and spat with each other. Where one leaves off the other one begins and vice versa. You 2 probably finish each others sentences and everything. Can you say soulmates?
Soulmates push each others buttons. They know in what areas you need to grow in and so they put fire under you to get you going. In most instances thisbrings couples to fight and hate each other. Thinking that "he or she is really pushing my buttons today". But for a reason. You 2 decided in a previous lifetime, what you needed to work on this lifetime, what you wanted or needed to accomplish in order to evolve. And one said to the other if I get stuck and don't keep moving in the direction I need to, I want you to do this to me to wake me up, to put fire under me to get me going.
I really hope this email is read by the 2 of you soon enough to reconcile and take care of each other. I don't say that normally, but you2 have a lot of work to do together and you are just getting started. Don't blow it now.
You both have the same dysfuctional history in your backgrounds. One or both parents not being there for you whilst you were growing up. Both born Independants. He may feel the same as if there is no shoulder for him to lean on, parent wise, when you need a wise old owl to give advice or just listen. And yes you will weed out friends as you go along and realise they use you both all up for their own personal whatevers. Some really just need your help, others take advantage. You both are healers and that can be hard. You both want to help others as much as possible, but in the end you neglect each other and yourselves of working on your own personal problems. As I have said before, it easier to see the answers t0 other peoples problems and solve them, than to work on your own problems. Since you are both healers, there is more satisfaction in helping others than to help yourseves. You seem to have a knowing that where you 2 are concerned things just always have a way of working out. So you problems fall to the side.
Stop fighting the flow, stop blocking it. By fighting what is going on, just go with the flow. Row row row your boat gently down the stream...
In the log run what is happening seems to work ou for you,but you worry and fusss and make each other crazy
Healers both of you, you both are gifted, although the gifts manifest a bit differently for you both, they wiil compliment each other and you will own

And run a very successful business together and it will make you all the richer.
You wiil turn your gift to help the community and God is extremely pleased and gifts you even more.
This very gifted child you speak of needs you2 to get it together. She is very sensitive also. And you 2 think she doesn't hear or know what is going on, but oh is she aware. She wiil surprise you one day with all that she knows and saw going on around her, even at this young age. Because she does not bicker withyou 2 she is more in tune than you guys are right now and its tearing her apart. She wiil also surprise grandma one day if she hant already with what she will tell her about the truth of matters. Very matter of fact this one. She will shoot from the hip. Straighshooter this one, she speaks the truth only. I can't help but feel an illness or fever that will woory you sick, but ends up passing. Eyes or face she falls or gets burnt or small scar. Not to freak because it is the incident that brings you and husband closer, along with bad money problems. Let mom help. I don't know what that mom thing is but I was trained to say it because if it doesn't make sense to me, it will to you. Peace ranieri

[CFarrish822]

Okay, so you say that my husband and I should work things out or something minor that happens to our daughter is going to bring me and my husband together. I don't understand. If we love each other so much like I and yourself proclaim, why can't we get along, if we are soulmates, why can't we get along all the time. I know my daughter sees and feels every emotion and fight that goes on in me and my husband's life, however we cannot help the problems that him and I have. I do not believe that we are soulmates. We are total opposites. These opposites are not attracting at all, we butt heads all the time about the same thing over and over and over again. That is why my husband proposed a divorce. We keep fighting about the same thing all the time. Maybe 6 months out of the year we are happy and that is very rare. Please help me understand how we are soulmates when we can't get along half the time we are together...

[ranieri]

Because you are bored with the energy and so is he, do something to change it. A real night out, no talk of the daily grind. Go out and et naked and run around like you used to before the daily grind took over. Take a long weekend together, this argueing thing has become habit for you. Pretend like nobody else exists in the world but you 2. Lay down afew ground rules 3 maximum, what you will and won't talk about. What you both WILL do if you start to disagree. And stop being selfish. When is the last time either of you 2 went to church and took your daughter and participated.
Exercise, you both have too much energy going to waste, burn it off. Quit using it to hate each other. It takes a lot of extra time and effort to hate. Go for walks in the evening the whole family, set a time and stick to it.
Stop flirting with other people, you are not divorced yet and try.
No, you don't have to take my word for it. You don't have to stay, you can leave all you want and so can he. Break it up and give your daughter something to be miserable about the rest of her life. And who says marrieds get along 24/7. Any where that you have a male and a female together in a home environment, there will be arguing and discomfort a lot of the time. Ask any body, they all have different ways of handling the situation.
Some couples will always communicate that way. You 2 are based out of emotion, because of your sesitivities, so emotions run close to the surface. This is how you were raised, this is what you saw growing up or you wouldn't be doing it. A child is not born onto this planet knowing how to hate and seek revenge and to break up and leave. Quite the opposite. We all swear we won't make the same mistakes as the previous generations but its like clockwork, you can sit and watch it happen over and over again.

You have to want to make yourself better first. Start with the man in the mirror. Stop trying to remake each other and if you individually take resposibility for what you say and do, well that is all you can do.
A lot is siad betwwen you 2 to keep from getting hurt by what the other one says. A kind of retaliation. Sometimes you 2 rebel against the other just like you did you own parents. No, just because they want you to do it another way, maybe they re way.
Most of the time you 2 are just plain tired, exhausted and you keep trying to stay a wake( to prove you are superhuman or something?) and you are cranky and get into an argument because of that.
Sometimes you are upset and arguing because, you have a lot going on around you to stress you out. Your problem there is to quit talking to other people about what goes on between you. Period. Thoghts are energy and why have all that excess bad energy
going around the whole city.
Nobody but nobody can change the energy of what is going on but you 2. And your friends and relatives keep things stirred up between you 2 all the time. Some do it just because they know they can do it. They got nothing better to do with their time than to yank your chains of your marriage, then dump them. Weed them out, yes relatives too. If they do not honor you or your marriage and family then why have them around.
If you do not value and honor your marriage and family, then why should anyone else. Don't expect your daughter to grow up and honor and value if you 2 do not. Do not be surprised when she wants to spend time else where because she herself will not feel valued and honored by the two of you. You 2 are so selfish that you think this bickering you keep up isn't ripping apart everyone that knows you. Its like a drop in the pond, it ripples out into everyone. The hate you think you have is not. So stop torchering each other.
Go get concert tickets, go ride bikes. Its summertime, if you suddenly became ill and were lying on your death bed, when you look back at your last moments on this earth... will you be happy that instead of taking your daughter to the park and pushing her in the swing, you 2 wasted a gorgeous day cursing each other out. I don't think his last day with you hed want to remember that you called him a s.o.b, and you would not want that to be your last memory to him. You would want it to be some fond reminder, of how you whispered in his ear, and it really gave himm goose bumps. And vice versa.
No patience. No one has patience for any one else, how do we expect people to be tolerant of some new when we can't even be patient with our own peeps.
Its really like thumpers mama said and like the poster Everything I learned in Kindergarten", got nothing nice to say, be quiet, speak with manners, treat everyone the way you want to be treated etc...
The rules don't change when you get older. There is always a butt hole out there some where, and yes somebody done him wrong too. Like it or not what gets done to you, you pass on. Good or evil, the energy you send out
comes back on 3 fold. Ouch! Peace ranieri

[CFarrish822]

Okay, I really value your time writing me and helping me through this, but I really don't think we are made for each other no matter what. Let me give you an example of how he treats me and you tell me if you would put up with it...

There was a couple of times that I when I was ill with allergies. I was weak and couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't take care of my own self let alone take care of my daughter and husband and the household chores. I have to do everything. I have to cook, clean, take care of the baby, wash clothes, make beds, feed the baby, bathe the baby, read her 3 books before she goes to bed, tuck her into bed all while my husband is playing games on the computer or playing games on his play station or hanging out at the fire department (it's volunteer, it's not his job). I ask him to help and he gets mad at me for asking him, but I'm tired and I never have the "energy" to do ANYTHING! So, back to the story, I'm sick this one particular weekend with 102 fever, I laid there in the bed, never was asked for a drink of water, therefore I was dehydrated, never was asked if I wanted something to eat, therefore I didn't eat the whole weekend, and was never asked for some Tylenol for the fever. Needless to say, I wasn't checked on that whole weekend. My husband never cared for me, you know, in sickness and in health.

A couple of weeks ago, he needed to have surgery and have 3 teeth removed. I took a whole day off (got in trouble with my boss for it too) to care for him because he need someone to drive him home because he would have been still sedated. I picked up his meds (pain pills), took him home, took his shoes off for him, proped his pillows up, helped him drink some water because his mouth was still numb, take out the bloody swabs in his mouth, and put in some fresh new ones every 10 minutes. I spent the whole day caring for him, why can't I get the same respect when I am sick, why should I still have to live with that.

Another thing. He is a very messy living person, I am a very clean person. We fight all the time because HE can make the mess, but I always have to clean it up on top of the other listed chores above. I have to do EVERYTHING all the time and I'm sick of it. Is that the way I woman should live, is that "energy" that I need to "walk" off that you are talking about??

You mentioned going to church. I have been taking my daughter to church alone because my husband will not go. He does not believe in God and the times I have asked him to listen or read, he doesn't want to, so, that should go to show a lot to you. Heard of "equally yoked"?

What do you think now, knowing a bit more..

[ranieri]

You are the only one who knows what goes on behind closed doors. Only you can say how much more... As always the choice has been yours.
Wah! On the other hand, you sound like you have the young married couples that don't communicate blues. And welcome to young children motherhood. Ask any mom out there if she's had a decent night rest let alone sleep since her child or children were born.
Its overwhelming! Big Time! They don't write books about it for a reason, because nobody would be foolish enough to take it on.
On the big other hand it is absolutely no fun to feel like you are doing it all and getting no help. No relief in sight, no light at the end of the tunnel.
This is where you come in again and think OK, he's at the game board again. Get a babysitter and go out for awhile. Doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong just some time out for you. Maybe games are his vent.
Call a girlfriend, go get your hair done, pedicure. Sit in the park, go fishing, what was your favorite past time before the babe, before the hub.
Start a walk or run program. Jazzercise, start a journal, volunteer to hold crack babies at a local hospital, donate time to girl scouts, big sisters. And church, Im sure there is plenty to get involved in there. And you might find a nice babysitter or 2 to rely on, who cares if he goes. Don't stop living just because it feels like he has forgotten his resposibilitiies. Back off, stop ppppushing your will so much and stop picking up after him. Just stop reminding him of what he needs to be doing. You are not his mom. Your responsibility is to mother your little girl and to make a way for yourself. If husband starts seeing you making all these plans without him, going to get your hair done, start getting back in shape, going back to school. Pretty soon he wiill get the picture or someone else will. He doesn't want someone else to notice and comment on your new wig, he doesn't want to be standing in the yard when someone notices your new slim figure by yelling out the window to you. And go to school and be around even more people to make you feel like a person, a woman again. He will come around.
For lack of a better word right now stop nagging
And start doing!
A sister can do for her self
Turn the tables change the energy make him wonder what you been up to. Tired or not make a date for yourself once a week, at least, and stick to it.
It Is not up to him to make you whole again, Independent, remember that is your lesson this life time. It is not up to you to be his everything either.
Go out with your friends, lunch even if no time but just make the time, its no one else's resposibility but yours.
Make a date for you once a week. At least
Make a date for just you and your husband once a week and stick to it.
No one else just you two. If you go with another couple that does not count as your time for just you 2 alone.
Carve out of your day early on to exercise get a shower. Meditate, find some quiet time for yourself too. Get a young girl to watch the babe for just an hour and half.
You can do it you are tougher than all this. Don't let it get you down, come on now you are the one who's glass is always half full. When you get some real rest for yourself you will feel so much better about all of this. You will see everything in a whole different light. Sweet babe dry your eyes you are never alone, you know that don't you? You have many guardian angels around you at all times. Many many people on the other side and on this one . Your problem with the people on the other side is you get so worried and trying to work it and push your will. You don't wait for their answer. Afemale guardian in particular tells me she tries to leave you all sorts of help and signs along the way, but you run around worried like a chicken with his head cut off. She and the others tell me that you almost always get your answer within 24 hrs after you ask, but you've flown off trying to work it in a million different ways, exhausting yourself and everyone around you. She says you get your answer about what to do within 3-4 hrs. Just ask and wait
AS for the people on this side that want to help you. They want to help the few that will approach you you say no to them, nothings wrong, you are all right. Tell your mom tell his mom, they will back off and that will be a big help alone. They will help you and they will talk to him without him feeling like he has to retaliate against you like it was forced up on him. Let them put the fire under him, you need your energy for yourself and your babe. As I said before you are not the one to make it all right for him, he is independent, born an Indepedant, that puts the responsibility back in his own hands. No one is going to magically come and rescue him and make it all right. Same goes for you. You compliment each other. Its not supposed to be a competition. You work along side each other, sometimes one will get ahead of the other but you always come back to side by side. Not on top of either Peace ranieri