[KaydeeM21]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years. We have a 3 year old son together and he has 2 kids daughter 8, son 7. The mother of his older children has 4 kids all together, 2 older than my step kids. She is not very responsible. She parties a lot and will do anything to get rid of her kids. Over the past 4 years or so we have had the kids every other weekend, if not more, on a constant basis. For awhile she didn't think we took them enough. She would say how stressed she was and how she was going to move to a smaller house and have us keep her 2 youngest kids. Well all of a sudden she met some guy while on vacation in Hawaii. Months go by and they are starting to get serious and he is coming to visit. (Mind you, in the 6 years I've known this female, she's had probably 10 different boyfriends) One of our weekends come around and she tells us "Oh... I forgot... I made plans with the kids this weekend. Sorry, forgot it was your weekend" Ok.. whatever, things happen. The next weekend rolls around, fathers day weekend, her and the kids no where to be found! The next weekend was my son's 3rd birthday party. I had been inviting them for weeks. She doesn't bring them, doesn't call, nothing. My son was so bummed! Right now her boyfriend is in town for 2 weeks and she sends me a text yesterday saying "Im taking the kids to the mountains this weekend and to the falls next weekend so can you guys wait til the next weekend to see the kids" I told her sure but we'd like to see them sooner. My man misses his kids, it's been over 3 weeks so far. She says well they have Remember, this is the party animal that would let her kids stay at grandpa's house for a week and not even call to check on them. Now all of sudden this new guy is around and she wants to keep them away from us. Then I find out from a mutual friend of ours. She's going to a Luau Party on Saturday and then the Kenny Chesney concert next Saturday and she's really not taking the kids anywhere. The truth is, they will be staying home with their older sister who is 13. So why the hell can't the kids come to our house?? I'm sorry that this was such a long story but it has really been bothering me. Should I bring it up to her which might possibly start a confrontation? The saddest part is my man's son even called us and said they are going camping which means that she told them something that wasn't true and got his hopes up. What the heck do you do in this situation. They have absolutely no court order between them, they both have equal rights to the kids?? I think it's a bunch of crap!!

[tawnynkids]

What you do, honestly, is go to court and get a scheduled court ordered custody/visitation in place. Without that this is what you get to deal with. I personally would ask for every other weekend and a 3 hour dinner with them twice a week (usually Tuesday and Wednesday or Tuesday and Thursday), or what is called a 2-2-3. That is every Tuesday and Wednesday or Tuesday and Thursday (full 24 hour periods) and every other weekend. Realistically it is joint physical custody. As long as there are no parenting issues/distance issues on his part he should stand a good chance at getting it.

Whatever he would decide to ask for I would at least get it court ordered. It is the only way to avoid wishy washy visitations at moms whim.

[s_cianci]

A court order is needed and now. Have your boyfriend tell the judge everything you've said here. Once a court order is established, stick to it like glue and make the mother do the same. The terms of the court order may not be completely to the satisfaction of either party, but this way it'll be fair to all concerned and you'll have the eltter of the law to back you up if she tries to pull anything in the future.