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Yes send the flowers. You have nothing to lose! If she does not come back it will be because she didn't want to in the first place not because you sent her flowers.
Sending her flowers will bring out her true feelings for you. The only reason she would see you as needy is if she didn't have any feelings anymore. If her feelings are still strong then she won't reject the flowers. I sent flowers to my ex when we broke up before and she didn't think of it as needy. So do what you have to do. Just don't beg. It's her love for you that will bring her back to you whether you send her flowers or not. As long as you are sending flowers to set up personal closure for yourself I see no harm in doing it. I'm going to do my part to put this site out of business. The reason this site continues to stay in business is because people have stopped trusting their own judgement and would rather enslave their minds to a bunch of faceless strangers on a message board to do their thinking for them. |
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Don't send the flowers. I don't see a point.
Your correct in your assessment of the cons. You look needy, desperate and unattractive and also come across as pushy! If she misses you she doesn't need flowers to confirm it. That's a load of nonsense. And I can assure you from experience that actions like this don't give you closure. They just leave you asking more questions. Questions like "i wonder if she got them?" "i wonder if they had an effect on her" "Why hasnt she called to thank me" etc etc. Just leave it. If she misses you she will get in contact when she is good an ready. Flowers will push her further away! |
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 Originally Posted by dreamguy
Stop bagging this site. If you don't like it fcuk off!! Your helping no one by constantly bagging everyone who has a different opinion to you. Its OK to share you opposing point of view but stop running everyone else down who doesn't agree with you. |
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I think that's a good idea tiodaat.
You need to give yourself time to clear your head and get to know who you are again. No contact will allow this. And in a couple of months time you still feel the need to give her a call then you can reassess then. UUt until that point I would just continue living and worrying about your own life and not hers. After all that is what she is doing. P.S. Dreamy is a little upset today. Just ignore him. He gets like this when he hasn't taken his medication. Deep down he is a real cutie pie! |
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Originally Posted by dreamguy
Seriously man, get over it. Maybe you should get out and find a new girl. You seem really pissed. Got sand in your panties today? Well POSTER... I would like to add that you shouldn't listen to one person in particular (your friend) but listen to what everyone has to say. But ultimatley make up your own decision. That's what I did, everone told me to not call, but I made my own choice because only I know my situation. The emotional support here is awesome, albeit sometimes not what you want to hear. |
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Originally Posted by jeep1995
My mom says I shouldn't, my dad thinks I should. Some friends think I should, some don't, etc. I realize I know my situation the best, but still feel lost in making this decision. She should know how much I care about her, and I really do not want to be seen as pushy/needy. That said, (and maybe it's just wishful thinking), I was hoping she would come to miss me some while out of the country, and the flowers would reinforce her feelings for me. |
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When it comes to the crunch I would listen to mom. After all she is a women isn't she and she would know best how another women would think.
Dad means well but at the end of the day he is like the rest of us hopeless romantic boys isn't he? I still maintain that flowers won't make her miss you. If she does then she will call anyway! Its up to you and you should trust your judgment but if you ask my opinion I would definitely go with mum! I have been in your shoes before and I know I made the wrong decision in sending the flowers. But that's just me isn't it! |
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Originally Posted by Skell
You are right about my dad being the romantic, I guess. My he and my mom broke up for about a month before getting back together and eventually married--I guess he is probably basing his advice on how he went after my mom, so to speak, to win her back. As of now, I am definitely leaning toward not sending them. I still really, deeply care for her, though and feel like I should do something. Then again, maybe doing nothing is the best thing that I can do for the time being. |
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Originally Posted by tiodaat
Yes I think that at the least a phone call would suffice. She will no doubt be glad to hear that you were thinking about her. Flowers may be a bit too much, I say though the flowers are not going to drive her away if she already wasn't coming back. If she isn't then she knows it. But at least if you do care, and it sounds like you do care a lot for her, then at least ask her how the trip was. |
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Originally Posted by modular01
I have since heard that she told a good friend something along the lines of "it's not that I don't like him, it's just that I didn't see our relationship going anywhere." From my own thoughts on the subject, I think it was a combination of things that ultimately lead to her losing her initial attraction in me. First of all, she went to Europe for three weeks with a good (girl) friend of hers. I was in between school and summer employment, and found myself missing her a great deal. While we sent equally musy emails, so to speak, talking about how much we missed each other, I think while she was keeping busy, I was just kind of sitting around, wanting to be with her. She came back, but had to head home for 4-5 days. So, in the last month that we dated, I barely saw her. That said, just a few days prior to our breakup, she was complaining about not seeing me enough, and was asking for a set of keys to my apartment. I also told her that I loved her (about 2 weeks for the breakup). She smiled, held me closer and kissed me, saying she was happy to hear it, but did not say it back. The next day, she said she wanted to make sure that it meant something when she said it. So, in sum, I think the dynamic of our relationship changed with the advent of summer, her trip (first time out of the country), me telling her that I loved her, and me (probably) being perceived as somewhat needy/clingy. Let me know if I can add any more useful information. |
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