[turtlegirl]

What's the motivation here? I've ALWAYS dated younger guys, but it seems like it's more pervasive lately (Cameron/Justin, Demi/Ashton). When I go out, no one my age even talks to me, but men 7-10 years younger are pretty into me. (I also look young for my age, but come on.) Any opinions or thoughts pro/con, or from older women or younger men are appreciated. (Or younger women and older men, but I think that's a totally different dynamic.) Am I a MILF-type? Do men think older ladies are easier to bed, or that they can learn from them? Do they believe we're less interested in real relationships than women in their 20's? Are they looking for sugar mamas? Seriously!

[Wildcat21]

That's a great question - men always go out with younger woman - lots of younger woman wamt an older man - he is experienced, confident, secure, has a house, independent, interesting.

Why can't woman do that?

Problem is MOST young guys are ONLY in it for the sex. That's it. I do admit woman in their 30's and 40's are much easier fro the sex.

The young may hang out with the older woma - but he won't wine and dine her - date her necessarily. He will eventually LEAVE her for a younger woman. Ashton Kushner will leave Demi.

It's a lot of reason and MILF is one of them. The young guys think your just interested in the sex as well and not necessarily a relationship.

Sugar mama's not so much. But it's nice to have a ldy who ca ntake care of her self.

I can't believe guys your age or guys a little older aren't attractive to you. I can't believe that.

[turtlegirl]

Guys my age are attractIVE to me, just not to attractED to me. They don't pay much attention to me. I would be happy to go out with someone my age. Two big qualities that I like are curiosity and openmindedness, which I see less and less of as men get older. But if a man of any age had them, I would be interested. Maybe guys my age tend to stay at home more than younger guys and that's why I don't meet them. It's a mystery.

[notastarvingwriter]

Maybe age has nothing to do with it. Take my husband. He's 15 years younger and when we first hooked up he didn't even know how old I was. It didn't seem important to mention on the first date. By the time I told him, he was so into me, it didn't matter. Why shouldn't a relationship between older women - younger men work out? Isn't the connection, affinity, common interests, etc, more important than the birth date? I can see that people may not get along because they have nothing in common, or their personalities don't mesh... but the age?
And by the way, our May-December relationship was an inspiration for my new novel, "Teeth in a Pickle Jar." It's just been released but it's already selling like crazy. Could it be because readers find the story of a younger man / older woman so appealing?

[turtlegirl]

Good for you! And congratulations on your book (great title). I don't see a problem, either. This is just my MO since middle school. People have always given me a hard time, but now it seems to be a popular phenomenon that people are beginning to catch on to (although there is a lot of "I don't get it"). And I'm no longer getting a hard time from my friends and family. I don't get why it's somehow less acceptable or believable than older man/younger woman. In my experience, younger men are more enthusiastic, curious, lively and open-minded. Less jaded and set in their ways. If I could find those qualities in a man of any age I'd be thrilled, but the likelihood is that he'd be in his 20's. No answers here, just a lot of questions... ;)

[mike145k]

I disagree I think you need to be with someone closer to your age,do what's right and stop corrupting our innocent boys for a sexual escapade.my advice to you is to stop hunting for youth it will never come back your older and getting older everyday face it and go out with your own kind.

[notastarvingwriter]

Mike145K... I'm not sure whether your comments were tongue-in-cheek or serious. I am hoping it's the former, but in case it's not, well, I had a chuckle anyway... First of all, what's that about "corrupting young boys?" If you are referring to teens, as in the case of Mary LeTourneau (sp?), then yes, I absolutely agree with you because these boys are not fully cooked and not mature enough to know what they want out of life. But a 36-year-old man (my husband) is not exactly innocent (believe me) and not a good candidate for cradle robbing. And lest you have a mental image of a youthful man getting it on with an old, wrinkled lady, let me tell you that I don't look 15 years older than him, not that it's important or anyone's business. What excactly is so wrong with "sexual escapades" between an older woman and a younger man (as opposed to age-appropriate couples), and, even more to the point, why does it bother YOU so much?
Also, what exactly is my "own kind?" Used to be that people referred to couples of different color or ethnic background that way, but that was soooo long ago, and attitudes have, happily, changed since then. My husband is not an alien from out of space, or some weird species; he is a human being so he IS my own kind.
True, we ARE getting older every day. That holds true for you, me, and everyone else who is fortunate enough to wake up every morning and face another day. As a matter of fact, we are getting older the moment we are born. That argument of yours is neither here nor there.
People who judge relationships solely on the age factor and not on feelings, compatibility, affinity, shared interests, etc. are very shallow and narrow-minded. Or maybe just plain envious, who knows?
Read my book. Maybe it WILL open up your mind and your heart just a bit, and leave it ajar for a glimmer of hope.
I respect your right to have your own opinions, but I also respect my own right to disagree with them.

[BattleAngel14745]

Message deleted

[Wildcat21]

Change is good. Most guys don't understand this - it took me a while to figure that out.

[sherri68]

I have to start by clearly stating that it has been my observation that people who have opinions about others and their choices are usually miserable people. I have never dated younger... I have been married to the same man for 20 years. I'm 40 yea do the math... longevity who would have ever thought at that age... but hence we divorced THANK GOD! He's a good man but not for me nor was I for him we were different nothing in common and don't ask me why it took that long to figure it out... it's called doing it for the kids... anyway, after I divorced which was five years ago I don't think one not one older man hit on me.. no matter where I went... always younger... I think it has a lot to do with spirit period... So Mike14 I don't know if that is your age... but please be more mature and open your mind... there are not rules to love.. I mean of course you don't want to date someone who still takes three days to call because it's the rule... be the exception please. I am dating some who is 13 years younger do I look at forever I don't know I don't care... What I do know is that we laugh like no other we have so much in common we talk we cry we we we we that's what's nice... will he leave me for someone younger... who cares... been there done that.. I'm not trying to be in my 20's again... that age was torture mindless and empty... and maybe that's the difference here he's not interested in mindless and empty... so he looks for substance, conversation and someone who is very comfortable in their own skin and not trying to desperately change his... hmmm lol! Interesting and to think had I listened to all the skeptics out there... thank goodness he talked me into sticking around... so I say to all the ladies out there who want to date younger men... what has been good for the goose for centuries upon centuries is also good for the gander... just understand that there will be those miserable unhappy jealous people that will always try to rain on your happiness... and as for Demi... Ashton is going to leave Demi... I bet that bothers the younger ladies that Ashton looks so happy in love and I'm sure Demi puts it down like no other lol! He isn't going nowhere anytime soon... lol! I will say that there is too young and had mine been one year younger NOPE... geeez... I wish all you haters heaven you need some. Ugh... :eek::):):):)

[slapshot_oi]

I don't know, I like older women, I kissed one (she was in her mid 40s) last night at the Bruins game.

And the last three girls I dated were at least two years older than me.

But, a lot of my friends are and have dated younger women, and those dudes are all immature. So, I guess it's maturity levels and how they match.