[fedupwithhim]

I have been married to a man for almost 4 years. We have on child together and I have two from a previous relationship. I do not love him anymore. Through no fault of my own I am just tired of the BS. He has cheated on me, has a drug problem, refuses to work, refuses to watch the kids forcing me to pay for a babysitter. He drives a nice new Cadillac because I bought it... I guess I spoiled him. But now after the money is gone I have resorted to pawning my jewlery just to make ends meat. I come home from work pick up the baby from the babysitter and guess who's walking around here like he runs the show. I have expressed to him my feelings through written word, talking, crying, yelling, I have done it all. And he still refuses to leave. He has destroyed my property, threatened me verbally and physically, stalked me at work, and followed me. And he's the one who is running the streets. I just want him out. My kids are angry with him and it is reflecting in their day to day activities. What can I do?? I have lived in this house since I was born and had him sign a Quit Claim Deed. Can I make him leave without worrying about him coming back. He has gotten physical with me before. And he has treatened to do it again. HELP!!

[Fr_Chuck]

Of course not, if he is a mean and dangerous person he can sneak back and break in and hurt you if he wants to. You said he quit claim a deed, did you add him to the deed or did he sign his share over to you.

But because you are married, you will have to file for divorce and ask for the court to order him to move, If you have proff of the physcial harm he did to you before you may be able to get a restaining order and/ or a order of protection, Then you change the locks and hope he obeys the court order.

It is time to go to a divorce attorney and start.

[talaniman]

Call the cops, get a restaining order, and a lawyer. ASAP!

[Dennis777]

Hello.

Sending you a great Big Hug... You have to legally make him move out, not just for you but for the kids. First get a order of protection / in some states restraining order so he can't get near you or the kids without getting in trouble with the law. Next find an attorney and start the divorce paperwork. That way if he does anything dumb he will have a paper trail already.

If you feel that he could be physical or kidnap the kids you can hire a guard or move to a safe house for a short time.

Good Luck
Dennis777

[dolly08]

Sweety my mother was going through the same thing if you can't get him to leave your going to have to get out yourself don't worry about all of the petty things God will place all of them newer and better things your best bet is to get those kids out of that type of environment that kind of stuff could mess up a child's state of mind if you wait to long I guarantee the Lord will bless you when you get away from that evildoer you have kids to protect just move far away don't inform that your leaving whenever he out going out to get his drugs that's the best time to leave but you have to be prepared to leave some days when your out on you lunch break look at different places to move you could even do it over the internet just what ever you do do it quick!! **THINK ABOUT THE KIDS** but **MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS**

[bushg]

I want to tell you a story of a man I used to work with. A very handsome charming man, very well built and nice to talk to. He did let us know that he thought women needed to know their places in life. But anyway he got married to a very nice girl. They had 2 little girls. On and off they had a few problems. I guess money became a problem and he turned to a little drinking and smoking weed. He became involved in some ticket problems lost his driver license was arrested etc. she bailed him out, a couple of times, the hitting started and he was arrested for that, she forgave him and he came home, after a while things just started back up. This went on and off for a few years... she maintained the home and kids, job. She finally got tired of his bs and got a restraining order against him. And from his priors the judge granted it. This man realized that she was serious. He waited one day outside of her work on a busy 5.00p.m. afternoon in February, took her arm as she screamed... ducked under a stairwell and slit her throat and killed her. Her parents have her kids and he is in prison. She is dead. Before you leave, you make a plan, you talk to a woman's group, and try to get them to give you a feel of just how dangerous your husband can be. They will guide you.and stand by and they can even give you a safe place to live. These types of men they are most dangerous when they know you have had enough. A home, job and car can be replaced your life can not. Please do not try to do this alone, get some advice first. Good luck

[Chameleon]

Honey, get out of this situation as soon as you safely can. My mother is married to a man similar to this. He doesn't hit her (and he better pray that he never does), but he is verballyemotionally, and mentally abusive.. I can't recall how many times she's called me at 11 at night asking me if she's crazy. He's messed with her mind that much. This came between myself and my family for 2 years... until they started seeing how he was.
Get your children out of there. If he threatens youhe won't think twice about threatening your children. Also, this is not a healthy environment for them, or yourself. You're in my prayers...

[calover16m]

Call the cops, get a restaining order, and a lawyer. ASAP!!

I definitely agree

[shygrneyzs]

I agree with the ones who say get out, get out with your children. Pack a few clothes here and there, that he cannot notice. Store them at a friend's. If you have a friend that can step in, great. You need a safe place to go and quit trying to get him out. He is not going to leave, so you do the leaving. This is NOT quitting! This is about self preservation and protecting your children. Did I say you need a safe place? Yep. Contact a women's shelter, an abused resource center, a safe family center, whatever you have there. Even a homeless shelter for the short term.

Once you are out of there, you can focus on the necessities. Believe me that personal possessions are the small stuff in situations like yours. You can fight for them via an attorney.

Good luck to you.

[akms]

Yeah, just letting you know another person in the world cares I'm only 11 so I don't want to give you misleading advice but so far they seemed to have giving you pretty good advice