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kelseylc · Jun 23, 2007, 12:48 AM

Me and my Fiancé are getting married in Feb. I'm 18 and he's 20 we are deeply in love and I have a beautiful ring. Anyway he's a Marine and I'm going to beauty school in the spring my parents know we are getting married they just don't know how soon. We had told his parents and some close friends. I'm scared to tell my parets cause I'm the baby of my family and the first of 3 to marry. Since we told his parents all we get are reasons we shouldn't get married and no faith that it will last but we know it will we would just like to have a Congrats or something but I know I will never hear one... what I really want right now is for some one to give me an idea on ow to tell my Mother and Father that I'm getting married in February.

Clough · Jun 23, 2007, 02:45 AM

Well, you can't predict the future as far as what someone's opinion will be as far as you getting married. You will stand a better chance of getting some sort of congratulations and support - spiritually, mentally and emotionally - from your parents, if you let them know that you have a plan on how you are going to support yourselves and be successful in your marriage. For example: jobs you and/or he will have; where you are going to live; how you are going to do the formal wedding or civil wedding service; who is going to pay for the expenses of a wedding; what you expect to happen in the future in your marriage; if either of you are thinking of any additional schooling for yourselves, how you are going to manage that financially and with being married; whether you plan to have any children and how soon, etc.

I would have all of those "ducks in order" before you go telling them, and before you get married.

Getting married is a huge step in life. All facts concerning marriage need some serious consideration before even considering marriage.

I am hopeful that others will offer their insights and advise to your question.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 23, 2007, 05:35 AM

The longer you wait, the worst it will be, if they find out you told friends, you told other family, you told his parents first, they will be more upset most likely.

Next you are 18, you are a adult now, and planning on getting married, to live your own life. If you are scared to tell them, I would have to wonder "IF" you are mature and grown up enough to get married, Sorry I hope you don't take this wrong but part of being an adult is dealing with your issues and doing what has to be done.

MrsJoseph06 · Jun 25, 2007, 11:31 AM

Hey I got married in November I was 18! It's hard to take crtisim at times from other people but like Fr_chuck said you're a grown up now! You have to own up to your decisions! I felt the same way when my husband and I first started dating he is 7 years older than me and all I got was crap! I hated it! But than I finally realized that I want to live my own life! If people have a problem with that than they can keep it to themselves! It's crap! When people start ranting just stop them and say you apprechiate it if they dident put your decisions down! It's your life and you have heard it all before! Just remember that you are lucky you have found the one you love and want to spend the rest of your life with! As for telling your parents you need to tell them! It doesn't do any good to hold off telling them! You just have to be prepared for critisim! They are your parents and they just want what's best for you! Congrats on finding the one you love and getting married! If you ever need to talk feel free to contact me! Also I started a group on myspace for young married couples you should join! MySpace Good luck with everything!

ncgirl_21 · Jul 3, 2007, 07:04 PM

Originally Posted by MrsJoseph06

Hey I got married in november I was 18! It's hard to take crtisim at times from other people but like Fr_chuck said your a grown up now! You have to own up to your decisions! I felt the same way when my husband and i first started dating he is 7 years older than me and all I got was crap! i hated it! But than I finally relized that I want to live my own life! If people have a problem with that than they can keep it to them selfs! It's crap! When people start ranting just stop them and say you apprechiate it if they dident put your decisions down! It's your life and you have heard it all before! Just remeber that you are lucky you have found the one you love and want to spend the rest of your life with! As for telling your parents you need to tell them! It dosent do any good to hold off telling them! You just have to be prepared for critisim! They are your parents and they just want whats best for you! Congrats on finding the one you love and getting married! If you ever need to talk feel free to contact me! Also i started a group on myspace for young married couples you should join! MySpace Good luck with everything!

Congrats on the up and comeing wedding as with any couple getting married young it does come with its critcism but remember that you are adults and if your prepared to fight for your love and take the critcism and go on with your life then do it. I'm also getting married young and I have joined this myspace group you should join you could get a lot of support from theses girls who's been through this

missC32 · Jul 31, 2007, 06:53 PM

Hey I'm 20 years old and my husband is 21. We got married a year and two months ago hey is in the navy. I went threw everything you went threw with my mom and telling me that I shouldn't get married so fast but after all everything turns out well and love gives you strength to do it however I haven't told my dad yet because my dad trust me a lot and telling would only make him disappointed in me so I'm in the same situation as u. In the end you will always do what you wanted to do so do as you feel your parents will get over it now its up to your parents to see if they want to be at your wedding or not

Canada_Sweety · Jul 31, 2007, 07:16 PM

You are your own person. They can't control you. You might want to take them out to dinner (maybe a fancy place) and tell them there so they'll act calmer then they would in their own home. And maybe they would even accept it. My point is, you just gotta do it:D

jrb252000 · Jul 31, 2007, 08:16 PM

Congrats to you... the road will be a bit rocky at first but if you all love and support each other it can work. Being a military spouse is a bit harder and if you need support let me know. Good luck

Clough · Jul 31, 2007, 11:43 PM

Originally Posted by jrb252000

Being a military spouse is a bit harder...

The above is so very true. It takes a lot of work and patience to be married to someone in the military. They can move you on a moments notice.

nauticalstar420 · Jul 31, 2007, 11:49 PM

Originally Posted by jrb252000

Congrats to you... the road will be a bit rocky at first but if you all love and support each other it can work. Being a military spouse is a bit harder and if you need support let me know. Good luck

I am a military spouse as well, and it is a little difficult. You have to deal with deployments, crap pay (E-5 and below mostly is crap pay), and cruddy working hours. But the benefits are also wonderul. Medical, housing pay, GI Bill, etc. It has its ups and downs, but the members of the military are absolutely wonderful.

danielnoahsmommy · Aug 1, 2007, 12:54 AM

Pleae you are not ready. You can't even tell your parents what you are doing. Do you have doubts?

LearningAsIGo · Aug 1, 2007, 06:01 AM

I waited 9 months to tell my grandparents I was engaged because I knew they wouldn't support me. Not to be macabre here, but I'm glad I did since my grandma died a few months later, before our ceremony took place. Try to think ahead to what you'd want to remember. After being married 25 years you won't want to think back and regret not telling them sooner... you never know they could be excited!

You just don't know what they'll do or say, but rip the bandaid off quickly and tell them gently over dinner one night. They may surprise you, they may dissappoint you but if you're ready, willing, and able to marry him, don't be afraid to tell them! (Believe me, it's easier to relax and enjoy your engagement once you do.)

Good Luck! :)

MsCrabtree · Aug 5, 2007, 05:39 AM

Have all the answers to the questions they will ask. Be mature to answer, if not, then you are too immature for the responsibility of being a military wife. He will need a woman by his side, not a girlfriend. Good luck. A public place sounds cool, like over dinner at a restaurant.

ecnaifsjR · Aug 8, 2007, 09:31 AM

What I can tell is, parents are important to be informed about ALL your mega decisions in life. You have to prove to them that YOU are ready, ul know if you are when you have answers to all their questions... are prepared, wer will you live, how will you get your finances... etc... ofcourse a simple question but very important is... f you are prepared. Only you can answer that. Not even our fiancé. If you are prepared and really love your fiancé, you'll be glad to inform your parents about your marriage to him

krondorianchic · Sep 25, 2010, 10:49 AM

Hi.. I actually have the same problem as you.. telling my parents I know would be difficult but if you really love your man and you are quite sure that you are ready for the married life because I'm pretty certain that married life is not easy.. then you have nothing to be afraid of whatever your parent's reaction would be...