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    benn11's Avatar
    benn11 Posts: 1,036, Reputation: 43
    Ultra Member
     
    #1

    Jun 17, 2007, 11:48 PM
    Irish Pals
    Paddy and Mick are walking down a street in London. Paddy
    Happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that
    Catches his eye.

    The sign said 'Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, Trousers
    £2.50 per pair'.


    Paddy says to his pal,
    "Mick, look! We could buy a whole lot of dose, and when we get
    back to Ireland we could make a feckin' fortune. Now when we go
    into the shop, you be quiet, OK? Just let me do all the talking,
    cause if they hear our accent, they might not be nice to us.
    I'll speak in my best English accent."

    "Roight y'are, Paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will"
    Replies Mick.

    They go in and Paddy says,
    "I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £2.00 each and
    50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each. I'll back up my van and..."

    The owner of the shop interrupts,
    "You're from Ireland, aren't you?"

    "Well... yes", says a surprised Paddy.
    "How der hell d' y' know dat?"


    The owner replied,
    "This is a dry cleaners."

    Submitted by William Smith
    cal823's Avatar
    cal823 Posts: 867, Reputation: 116
    Senior Member
     
    #2

    Jun 17, 2007, 11:52 PM
    Haha. Reminds me of that joke about the blonde chick who tries to buy a microwave or something.
    iAMfromHuntersBar's Avatar
    iAMfromHuntersBar Posts: 943, Reputation: 146
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    Jun 18, 2007, 12:17 AM
    Ha ha, class! I like this one;

    Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.

    "Come have a look over here," said Paddy, "it's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."

    "That's nothing", said Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Tool, it says here that he was 95 when he died."

    Just then, Shamus yelled out, "Hey, here's a fella that got to be 145 years old!"
    "What was his name?" asked Paddy.

    Shamus lit a match to see what else was written on the stone marker, and exclaimed,

    "Miles, from Dublin!"
    magprob's Avatar
    magprob Posts: 1,877, Reputation: 300
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Jun 18, 2007, 05:21 PM
    Did you hear about the two gay Irishmen? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.

    Murphy
    Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.
    Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"
    "No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sitting on their beds.
    "Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."
    "Fook off you liar!".
    "I'll prove it," Murphy says.
    So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?"
    "Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"

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