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Pook_Myster · Jun 14, 2007, 09:51 PM

My parnter and I have been living together for 6 months, together almost two years. We both own our own real estate, mine being renovated at the moment, and us living in his.

Money for me is tight as a result of my renovations, and money is tight for him as we are just starting in life and finding that to accumulate 'things' is expensive!

This morning I realised that I have a rather large, rather important bill due at the end of this month that I had forgotten about. To miss paying it will mean I will have to pay a lot of interest - bla bla... anyway. I asked my partner if he would mind helping me out, and all of a sudden what I thought was an 'us' situation, felt like it turned into a 'me' and 'you' situation. He made me feel completely hopeless for having to ask, and though he said he would let me borrow the money ($1700 btw) in the end I felt I would rather pay the interest than borrow money off him. I already feel like I haven't been contributing to the finances as well as I would like because quite basically, builders have made me broke! I try my hardest to make up for it in other ways - ie; making sure the house is clean, tidy, washing done, bed made etc.

We seem to disagree on where and when money should be spent, prioritising bills and our general outlook on financial management as a whole.

Do you think that it is possible to have completely different perspectives on money and still maintain a healthy relationship? Right now I feel hopeless and as though I have lost my independence and it has made me cranky toward him.

Wondergirl · Jun 14, 2007, 10:10 PM

My husband and I just had our 40th anniversary. His glass is always empty; mine is always full to overflowing. It goes without saying that we disagree about money. We each have our own checking account, and we have a third one, a joint one.

I suggest you deal with that bill yourself, as best you can. Call the company you owe. Often they are willing to work out something or to give you more time IF you talk with them about it. Your interest rate may not go up either.

Show your partner you are financially responsible.

chuff · Jun 17, 2007, 04:09 PM

I agree with Wondergirl's answer above but I might also suggest that both of you, together attend a class on financial management that might open both your eyes to ways you can deal with you finances. Doing it together would show each other that both want to make improvements and you both can learn some financial techniques that will help you in the future.