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    kendall eva's Avatar
    kendall eva Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 10, 2007, 06:34 PM
    Mistress "arrangement" benefits
    I am getting ready to possibly enter into a mistress/married man "arrangement" He is going to be my Sugar daddy. However we both want the intimate and friendship aspects of the arrangement. I was wondering if anyone out there has been in such a situation and what the usual benefits (monetarily) are agreed upon to the mistress. I found him an a wealthy men/sugar daddy type site, so he knew he'd be financially assisting... but what amount? How do I know. And please no nasty feedback or moral guidance as I am asking a real question.
    Makiavelic76's Avatar
    Makiavelic76 Posts: 96, Reputation: 14
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    #2

    Jun 10, 2007, 07:37 PM
    What in the world?!
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Jun 10, 2007, 07:52 PM
    You have got to be kidding!! This is utterly ridiculous.

    You asked for no "nasty feedback or moral guidance," do you really think people are going to assist you in this garbage. I truly hope this man does not have kids.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #4

    Jun 10, 2007, 07:56 PM
    And please no nasty feedback or moral guidance as I am asking a real question.

    Even it is a real question, Do you honestly think that people are going to help you ruin your own life, and the life of others. You need moral guidance. Whether you like it or not because obviously you do not have any. This is not nasty feedback but the truth.

    You can not come here asking for true advice and then put limitations on the advice you seek just because you want a clear concience without any guidance and truth to the answers. Sorry it will not work here.

    Joe
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Jun 10, 2007, 08:02 PM
    What makes you think we know how much a ho is supposed to charge for giving up her a$$?? How much do you think its worth?? Wait around I'm sure an experienced ho will come along to advise you.
    diya's Avatar
    diya Posts: 303, Reputation: 62
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    #6

    Jun 11, 2007, 06:05 AM
    Well, you have an unusual arrangement going on here... I don't think anyone will be able to help you here honey, not because they don't want to, but because this situation is too unreal for all of us to digest and remember though your question may be real to you, quite unreal to us and we are Real People living in authentic world... but great going... let us know how it works out.. may be we can learn a lesson or two or a new trend from you... to add more confusion to the world... WOW!!
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #7

    Jun 11, 2007, 06:33 AM
    You want to be a baby girl princess to a Sugar Daddy? Go for it. But you do not need advice or lessons from anyone here. That is an on the job learning experience. Put it on your resume.
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #8

    Jun 11, 2007, 06:49 AM
    I'm going to go with:
    saraispiel19's Avatar
    saraispiel19 Posts: 670, Reputation: 115
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    #9

    Jun 11, 2007, 06:54 AM
    More like hoe NK
    CaptainRich's Avatar
    CaptainRich Posts: 4,492, Reputation: 537
    Cars & Trucks Expert
     
    #10

    Jun 11, 2007, 07:06 AM
    You thought you were ready to sell your soul!! And you don't even know how much its worth!! Now I don't care who you are, that's pathetic!!
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #11

    Jun 11, 2007, 08:05 AM
    Actually, I have heard of these websites where sugar daddies are matched up with young women. For those of you who have never seen them, here is one: Sugar Daddy Online Dating

    Kendall, the problem here is, as Joe points out, you cannot put limitations on peoples feedback. This is an emotionally charged topic. Of course people will look at you negatively and judge you. What you are contemplating doing goes against the vow your sugar daddy took when he married. So, people are going to question why he just doesn't get out of his marriage. Although right now, you think you will be happy with this arrangement, you need to think about down the road a bit. He will be paying for you to be available to him whenever he can break free from his family. That means, you will not be allowed to date other people. You will be alone on birthdays and holidays. When you become physically involved with someone, it is so hard to separate the emotional aspect of it. You also have to ask yourself what will happen to you down the road when you get older and become less attractive to him physically. What happens to you then? Obviously, if he has become bored or turned off to his wife, it stands to reason it will happen with you too. How will you take care of yourself if he suddenly dies? These are questions you need to discuss with him because it has a direct bearing on the arrangement you are making.

    You have posed a question that is so difficult to answer even if people thought you were doing the right thing. The majority of people don't do this so we don't have a good answer for you. What may be enough money for some, may not be enough money for you to live. It depends on the cost of living where you are. It also depends on whether you are going to be working or not. Other factors are decorating, clothing, food, transportation, activities to keep you occupied when your lover isn't around which will be quite often, and if something should happen to him maybe you will want to consider bringing up the idea of a pension plan with him if you won't be working. You won't be able to collect social security and you will have a tough time getting a job if you are out of the work force for a while. You need to calculate this stuff and figure it out. Let us know what you have come up with. :)
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #12

    Jun 11, 2007, 11:16 AM
    Well, she won't be out of the workforce too long. Once the little princess gets a bit older, then it is time for a new one. Hope she has a back up plan.
    Rockabilly1955mama's Avatar
    Rockabilly1955mama Posts: 662, Reputation: 85
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    #13

    Jun 11, 2007, 11:31 AM
    It's just one of thoes

    Wham bam thank you ma'am sort of things. Useless.
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #14

    Jun 11, 2007, 12:09 PM
    No matter what we say, she has made it abundantly clear she is going through with this. So, I think she should ask for the things I pointed out such as a pension plan or 401K, and dental & health benefits which I forgot to mention. After all, it is a business arrangement. I am sure if he isn't lying about his financial status, he would be quite willing to give her those extras. The men on those sites are supposed to be very wealthy and it is apparent that is why she chose to be a member of the site. If he isn't willing to do those things, then he either is lying about his finances, or he just isn't a very good sugar daddy. Kendall needs to find one that is willing to give her the things she needs to survive properly. Isn't that what a mistress does? It is obvious that this kind of arrangement is what she is looking for instead of a loving, stable relationship with a husband and children. Oh yes, I forgot all about that. Kendall, you need to discuss what will happen if you get pregnant. I am sure that isn't something that he wants from you since he has a wife at home and probably children. It would be a good idea for you to talk with him about his either getting a vasectomy or it might be wise to have him pay to have your tubes tied. Just remember that if he is rich, he can afford to take care of all your medical bills and such. I am sure he won't mind. As I said, this is a business arrangement and you do want someone to take care of all your financial needs. So, in addition to everything else I mentioned, don't expect to be included in his will. You need to make sure you can squeeze as much money out of him as you possibly can. Be completely upfront about it because he expects that. Believe me, he will understand completely when you ask about all this stuff. I am sure you aren't the first girl he has approached about being his mistress if you met him through one of those websites. Who knows? Maybe he has someone else besides you. You better find all this out. You don't need to be picking up any STDs.;)
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #15

    Jun 11, 2007, 01:20 PM
    Yes, Ruby, I do not doubt, in fact I know, there are Sugar Daddies and they have their little girls. But to come on here and ask? Sites like the Sugar Daddy ones have resources for those newbies, as well as to network with other dollies that are already in the business.
    Emland's Avatar
    Emland Posts: 2,468, Reputation: 496
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    #16

    Jun 11, 2007, 01:26 PM
    How would we know? Why don't you ask Heidi Fleiss? She would most likely know the market rate.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #17

    Jun 11, 2007, 01:44 PM
    I found the following little stories on the "Find A Sugar Daddy on 43" site. Both authors listed themselves as "unknown"

    First One:
    He was 55 and I was 18.
    It started as emailing. Innocent conversations about childhood. Growing up. Adventures.
    I wanted an adventure, I said.
    Sure. Let's go to Disney land.
    Really? When?
    Tomorrow.
    ... Ok!

    And so we went.
    Four days with a man I had met once. Nothing physical occurred. He tried to kiss me once. I passivly dodged. We walked along the beach at sunset. So picturely romantic except that I was 30 feet ahead of him. I could feel him watching me in my shorts. Eyeing my legs.

    I never drank a drink I left alone with him.

    In the end, one could say I got a free trip to Disneyland for two daays, my own hotel room, a rental car, etc. and 800$ spending cash for doing nothing.
    Why did I do it? I wanted to prove to myself that I could. That, and I wanted the experience.
    The best thing that came from it was that it gave me a bit more self confidence. I was good looking enough to snare an incredibly wealthy man and have him do anything for me at the drop of a pin. I hate that I did it but, as I said, it made me realize that Hey! There might actually be something to this 'beauty' aspect!

    Sescond One:
    Guess he's a sugar daddy. I decided to date him despite our age differences; in the beginning I was 28 and he was 43, divorced, and had one child. He acted like he wanted a serious relationship, marriage, another child, the whole works. Now I'm 30 and he's 45. We've been living together for over a year, and he hasn't mentioned marriage YET. That bothers me, but I figure that I don't have to be married to him for him to support me. I can live in his house, eat his food, etc. and still claim myself as a bachelorette! Yes, I do help out with the bills occasionally, and yes, I do have a career;I can thank him for that, because he pretty much supported me while I got my masters degree. I do a lot to help him out, such as cooking (I refuse to clean for him and his kid or do anyone's laundry but my own) but let's face it, I couldn't have this standard of living on my own, not at this point. I live in a house (and I can save MOST of my income for my own nest-egg and down payment for my own home in the meanwhile), I don't pay rent or utilities (a few times per year I give him something towards the bills, it amounts to about $300 per year or so), and I'm an authorized user on all of his department store charge cards, which he lets me use as I please. I do sleep with him, and it's fantastic, although lately he's been acting like he's trying to get me pregnant. However, I have told him that I'm not having a child if I'm not married. If he never ends up marrying me, his loss, and I'll probably eventually break up with him. But I definitely won't do that before I earn my PhD. What's funny is that when we first started dating, he'd told his relatives about me within the first month or so, and his nieces, who are around my age, actually teased him and called him a “sugar daddy.” There's also an ethnic difference, which keeps things interesting. My parents don't know how old he really is.
    NowWhat's Avatar
    NowWhat Posts: 1,634, Reputation: 264
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    #18

    Jun 11, 2007, 01:51 PM
    You know, I once heard a joke that kind of seems appropriate for this

    A man asked his cute waitress if she would sleep with him for a million bucks. She said "sure, honey". And she walks away.

    So, when she comes back, he asked her if she would sleep with him for five bucks. She slaps him and asked "what kind of woman do you think I am?"

    He says, "well, we just established what kind of woman you are, I was just trying to negotiate the price".
    zooropa1985's Avatar
    zooropa1985 Posts: 255, Reputation: 43
    Full Member
     
    #19

    Jun 11, 2007, 05:19 PM
    Hmmm id say charge the same amount as "freedom"

    A buck o five

    :)
    magprob's Avatar
    magprob Posts: 1,877, Reputation: 300
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    #20

    Jun 11, 2007, 08:14 PM
    Fly out to Neveda and visit a whore house. All the prices are on a piece of plywood nailed to the wall. Just copy them down and make your own sign. Charge him piece work.

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