How would you manage?

miss nafarious · Jan 23, 2007, 04:56 AM

I am dating a guy who loves women & is very flirtatious. We have been together for a few months & he says he will try to improve because he does really like me, but it will take time. I am a pretty jeolious person & am quite insecure so I don't react well when I see him touching & flirting with other girls.what is the best way to handle this in order to make the relationship work? It seems this is all we fight about, every other aspect of our relationship is perfect.:rolleyes:

Bluerose · Jan 23, 2007, 05:09 AM

He might just be a friendly, flirtatious guy - it may be a part of his personality. I really don't think you can change that or make him change. But I do think he will grow out of it as he becomes more mature/gets older. I think you should just try to enjoy him as he is, he sounds nice.

NeedKarma · Jan 23, 2007, 05:27 AM

I'm a friendly and flirtacious guy myself yet I'm committed to my wife. Some of us are geared that way, we're extroverts and we like women. Of course not all are monogamous minded as I am. Don't beat yourself up over it and it's not worth fighting, you'll know by the little things he does for you if he's committed to you.

ordinaryguy · Jan 23, 2007, 05:29 AM

You need to either get over your jealousy or find another boyfriend, because the chances he'll change very much are vanishingly small.

talaniman · Jan 23, 2007, 05:53 AM

I am a pretty jeolious person & am quite insecure

I don't know if he can change but I do know you can work on a few things yourself.

miss nafarious · Jan 23, 2007, 06:07 AM

Originally Posted by bluerose

He might just be a friendly, flirtatious guy - it may be a part of his personality. I really don’t think you can change that or make him change. But I do think he will grow out of it as he becomes more mature/gets older. I think you should just try to enjoy him as he is, he sounds nice.

I don't want to change him at all. I must just get over it & "enjoy him" as you say.
He is very nice! I was married before & never knew a woman could be so spoilt until I met this guy.

miss nafarious · Jan 23, 2007, 06:19 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I don't know if he can change but I do know you can work on a few things your self.

I am working on this. I know, I know... :)

Geoffersonairplane · Jan 23, 2007, 06:26 AM

I doubt you could change him even if you wanted to which evidently you point out, you don't.

There is perhaps no change required if all he does is innocent flirtation. I do think that you should work on the green eyed monster though, namely Jealousy. Whilst this is a natural emotion, it can transpire into something much more ugly if it gets beyond control. Find out the root of the insecurity and work on it -- There are ways.

You'll be fine.. :)

miss nafarious · Jan 23, 2007, 06:39 AM

Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

I doubt you could change him even if you wanted to which evidently you point out, you don't.

There is perhaps no change required if all he does is innocent flirtation. I do think that you should work on the green eyed monster though, namely Jealousy. Whilst this is a natural emotion, it can transpire into something much more ugly if it gets beyond control. Find out the root of the insecurity and work on it -- There are ways.

You'll be fine..:)

:D yip, it is an ugly monster I agree. The insecurities & low self confidence transpired from my marriage.
I will be working hard on this one. Thanks for the advise

Geoffersonairplane · Jan 23, 2007, 06:42 AM

Originally Posted by miss nafarious

:D yip, it is an ugly monster i agree. the insecurities & low self confidence transpired from my marriage.
i will be working hard on this one. thanks for the advise

Its great that you A: Recognise your problem and B: Know what caused it as these are the keys to solving it.

You are half way there already... >Don't blame everything on you though! It is less your fault than you may think.