[xorosebud88ox]

I'm about to turn 22 and I have never orgasmed. I have tried by myself with and without vibrators and during sex. When I masturbate I feel it start to come, try to let it, but all of a sudden pleasure turns to an oversensitive clitoris which I can't even touch anymore and a feeling of not wanting to continue. My boyfriend says I should push through it and it should be sensitive, but it's not a good feeling at all I don't want to continue I twitch and shudder at it. I don't know what to do, if this is in my mind I don't know how to control it. I feel like I'm always horny because I can't ever finish and it's very frustrating. Thanks :)

[Cat1864]

What do you think an orgasm should be like?

It sounds like you may be having orgasms but not recognizing them as such. The twitching and shuddering can be part of an orgasm. So can the sudden change from pleasure to discomfort. The sensations are different for each woman and in some cases from one orgasm to the next.

You don't have to put all of your concentration on your clitoris. Don't forget the inner thighs, breasts, stomach, inserting the toy, etc. It spreads the sensations and may make it more pleasurable for you. Getting into a fantasy can help too. Let your mind lead your body.

If you are afraid of what you are experiencing, would it help to have your boyfriend hold you in his arms while you masturbate? Would it help you feel less vulnerable?

[xorosebud88ox]

Thank you for responding. I know, from what I describe it does sound like I do - but I really hope it's not, because it doesn't feel that good at all. Its just when it starts to get good that it ends abruptly, leaving an un-satisfied feeling, it can't be right. I will try your advice, and hopefully get somewhere. Thank you :)

[simoneaugie]

I don't think you're having orgasms, just getting close.

One thing you could try is masturbation, with panties on and your fingers tapping. That's all, just an occasional tap. Of course you're going to want more. Then you can work up to touching your clitoris when you really want more contact and your clitoris will not be overstimulated.

Or, keep up the tapping. When your clitoris is just beginning to complain, tap elsewhere on your vulva. As Cat said, insert a toy. Then just leave it in there and stimulate the clitoris very gently. A clitoris is like the penis but far more sensitive.

Make very sure that your fingers are soft and not calloused. Be careful of fingernails and the possibly rougher touch of your boyfriend. Don't give up! And remember, that with experience you'll get really good at giving yourself pleasure.

[fisk]

Small but important tip, at least for me: give it time... It takes very long for some women to build up and have an orgasm, don't do things too fast, ask your boyfriend to be gentle too.

[BatGirl83]

This sounds exactly like me, I have also never orgasmed no matter what I try or what mood I'm in. I spend hours reading forums trying to find an answer. Sex is pretty unpleasant too, it hurts, like something is hitting me inside, and sometimes it burns. I have no std's or anything, and I've only had sex with my current boyfriend of almost 2 years. I think my g spot is hooked up wrong or something, instead of feeling pleasure I feel pain and burning. My problem with my **** is exactly rosebud's issue. Don't feel alone, I'm in the same boat at least. I'll eventually go see a doctor and see if I can find some answers for all this.

[jenniepepsi]

One of the biggest miconceptions on sex and orgasms, is that all women scream and moan and jerk around like on porn movies. Its just not true for some people. The most I get is my whole body gets completely rigid and stiff, I shudder, and then my clitoris is way over sensitive like you describe for yourself.

All levels of orgasm depend on the person. My sister screams in bed. My mother moans loudly. But I make absolutetly no noise, and my exhusband had to ASK if I had finished lol.