[plonak]

Hey everyone,

I am a 25 year old female and am dating a 21 year old male.. We have been together for almost 3 months and have become sexually active with each other within the past couple of weeks.

Before we decided to start having sex we would just "mess" around. I would pleasure him with my hands, and sometimes in the middle of it his penis would start to go soft and I would have to stop because it obviously wasn't getting anywhere. Then it kind of seemed like the erection problem was off and on, sometimes he would have a very hard erection and then others weren't as stiff.

So then, when we decided to have sex, our first time was great, he felt hard the whole time, but then once we started having sex more often, I noticed that in the middle of it, his penis just didn't feel very hard, (it didn't feel very good to me) but he was able to finish though.

So I was wondering if maybe this is mental, and he has insecurities, or if this is something medical.

But I am afraid to ask him because I don't want to exacerbate the problem.. I don't want him to think that I'm disgusted by him, because I am not. I just want to address the problem and see if there is a solution.

Guys, do you have any advice on how I should broach this topic to him? Oh by the way, I have yet to orgasm with him, so I have my own problems I am trying to deal with...

Thanks in advance

[ohsohappy]

Maybe ask him if he'd like you to try something for him? Experimenting can help.

[kp2171]

Few things to ask...

I know the question is about your boyfriend, but this is worth asking and isn't irrelevant to the situ

Have you reached orgasm with other partners w intercourse?

Can you get there with oral? With him performing oral?

Are you his first partner? Know anything about his sexual history?

What does going soft "in the middle of it" mean? Five minutes in? Twenty?

Does he initiate sex?

When and where does sex happen? Is he a "morning person" or night person? Is there private space where you won't be interrupted? Neighbors close to hear?

What's his health like? Smoker? Drugs? Meds? Exercise? Issues with blood pressure? Overweight? Self esteem? Depression? How is his sleep? Does he say he is well rested? Do you know if he gets nocturnal erections?

I have more, but that's enough questions and then some.