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tangerine · Feb 7, 2006, 10:03 PM

I have a five year old daughter. Her father was a registered sex offender (I did not know)and left for AK when she was born. I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with him. I have not seen or heard from him in over four years. He knew about his daughter but to my knolwledge has never tried to find us.I checked the sex offender webpages occasionally to keep tabs on him and recently found that he is in non compliance and his whereabouts are unknown. Except that his latest address seems to be Des Moines WA, where he was living before he was convicted. I received in the mail a cashier's check with no name as to who its from. I called the issuing bank and found that it was issued in Des Moines WA but they would not tell me the name of the person who paid for the check. It was for over $8000! I have a gut feeling its from him. I don't know what to do, I am very scared and worried and confused! Does he have any rights to her? I don't know how he found me, how can I give the check back! I don't want it, I just want him to leave us alone! Any advice? Help!

CaptainForest · Feb 7, 2006, 10:41 PM

You would be surprised at how easy it is to find people using the Internet.

My advice: Cash the cheque. $8,000 is a lot of money.

Does he have rights? Yes he does. However, because he is a convicted sexual offender, the most he'd probably get would be SUPERVISED visitation.

fredg · Feb 8, 2006, 06:15 AM

Hi,
This would be a very, very good question to talk with a lawyer about. If you cash the check, there is the possibility that you will be "agreeing" to something, to his advantage. Don't cash it, and don't send it anywhere until you get the advise of a lawyer. This is not just a typical "visitation" case.
You don't want this man around your child at all, and a lawyer can tell you what to do. The cost shouldn't be too much, just for a consultation visit with one who is experienced with child custody and visitation. I do wish you the best of luck, and I wouldn't have wanted this man around any of my children (who are grown now), either with or without supervision. I wouldn't want this man to even know where I live; your lawyer can advise you what to do.

CaptainForest · Feb 8, 2006, 09:30 AM

You don't really know who sent you this cheque.

It could be a long lost relative or some ex boyfriend for all you know.

Cash it, its money. Use it.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 8, 2006, 02:13 PM

Ok, you never said if this was a boyfriend or a husband, and if there was ever any written custody agreement or if there was child support agreements.

Unless you have went to court then he has full rights as a father. If he went and picked her up from school right now, there is nothing illegal about it, if he is the father and there is no other custody agreement issued by a court.

So you need to file first for full custody with him having no rights and no visitation. Since you don't know where he is, that should be easy since the attorney will merely use news paper postings if he is not found.

Then you will have custody unless he files for custody.

Even as a sex offender he can not be kept away from his own child iwthout a court order. So if he does come for visitation look at court supervised visitation.

As for the check, was it a cashiers check, money order or what.

But when I visit the attorney to see about filing for full custody, ask him.
He may recommend ( which is my opinion at this time with as little info as I have) to put it into a fund ( escrow is not the word I want but it gives you the idea) to be held for the welfare of the child pending finding out where it came from and why.

PS. If anyone else out there has a 8 thousand dollar check, or even a 8 dollar check, my poor little mission would not ask where it comes from but be glad to get it.

CaptainForest · Feb 8, 2006, 02:22 PM

Fr Chuck,

She said it is a cashier's cheque.

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

PS. if anyone else out there has a 8 thousand dollar check, or even a 8 dollar check, my poor little mission would not ask where it comes from but be glad to get it.

I agree with you on that. Accept the money as a gift of charity and be grateful you received it.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 8, 2006, 02:29 PM

Thank you, I used to include their question or response in my answers so I could read them as I was writing, but the site people did not like me including the repeating of the question in every response. So they asked me to stop using that feature except when I "had" to. So I at times miss part of their response, since I get tired of scrolling up and down and up and down trying to read and answer their posts.

CaptainForest · Feb 8, 2006, 02:32 PM

What I do is I quote the person so its in the window box here and then before I submit my answer, I delete the persons quote.

Sosdog · Feb 17, 2006, 12:58 AM

The check: without proof that he is the one who sent it to you, its yours and in no way acknowledges anything. Its yours, buy your daughter something nice.

The situation: if he has not had contact with the child for 1 year or more you may terminate his parental rights involuntarily. See a lawyer (use the cashiers check) and tell him what you want done. He will do it. It takes about 3 months, but as long as he does not contact the lawyer during the location phase his rights will be terminated and you can even change the name of the birth father on the birth certificate (if you so desire.)

Sos