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dbek · Nov 17, 2006, 05:34 PM

We adopted a child about 3 years ago and she was almost 5 yrs old. But the father who gave up his rights and let us adopt her is demanding visitation and said he is going to take us to court and try to get visitation. We use to allow him to see her but he isn't psychologically stable and it's not in the best interest of the child. He also thinks he has grandfather rights since he was the grandfather, but he adopted her when she was 2 months old because his granddaughter didn't take care of the child. I just wish he would leave us alone. We've tried moving and getting unlisted phone #. But because of circumstances beyond my control he found us and has started it back up. Please any advice I would appreciate. Thank You!

Originally Posted by J_9

The father and grandfather bit confuse me. Maybe I am too tired from studying but it sounds as though they are one and the same.

If parental rights were terminated then there is nothing he can do. I may be wrong, but I do believe that is the case.

Sorry, it is a very confusing situation. He is 80 years old and was the adopted father. (he was actually the great grandfather but because of neglect of her biological parents. He adopted but was no longer able to take care of her. But he is saying he is going to take us to court for visitation rights because he is the father/grandfather and he has rights. Although we adopted her 3 years ago and he signed over his parental rights...

J_9 · Nov 17, 2006, 05:41 PM

The father and grandfather bit confuse me. Maybe I am too tired from studying but it sounds as though they are one and the same.

If parental rights were terminated then there is nothing he can do. I may be wrong, but I do believe that is the case.

J_9 · Nov 17, 2006, 06:01 PM

I may be wrong, but I believe once he gave up rights, he gave up everything. I am also wondering about his stability at 80 to care for a 5 year old.

It may be time for a restraining order to be put in place.

Document everything... let him take you for custody, he will most likely lose. If you document properly then no judge will award custody of a 5 year old girl to an 80 year old man if she is in a current stable environment.

dbek · Nov 17, 2006, 06:39 PM

Thank You, it's just so hard. It's getting to the point that I'm going to have to get a restraining order. But I hoped I didn't have to (because of his age and health problems). It stated that he talked to a lawyer and it was going to cost him $2500 to take us to court. But I don't know how we could come up with the money to hire a lawyer. But I will do everything in my power to keep my child safe (and my other children) and if that means having to find away to fight him in court I will!

LUNAGODDESS · Nov 17, 2006, 07:38 PM

The great grand father is in for a long battle... but before I go further was there a court order for visitation? I am working on an assumption that he has no visitation rights... guaranteed to him through the courts... a sad state of affairs... I am so sorry you are going through this... but you will have to make up your mind... if the great grandfather is not physically and mentally in control of himself... yes... you will have to say no to visitation... for the sake of the child's psychological... being... but.. if, the child is asking for some communication with her biological relative then you should re-consider... if only for the mental welfare of the child... this man is not going to be here long so a little inconvenience is necessary... again if only for the welfare of the child... question has he contacted the courts yet... if not do not worry about it... but you have to contact the authorities... if only for the safety of your home... protective order is needed in this case... I do not what to scare your household but is better to be safe than worry why didn't later... there are also laws on the book on stalking... it does seem according to what you are saying... the biological relative is persecuting you for taking care of his relative... he needs to understand that he has a relative that has a chance at life... much better than the mother and father... the baby is getting a chance for a better life... I hope... call the prosecutors office for help on this subject... this is really to serious... do not just sit in front of the computer and write about it... hope you are motivated... the baby is worth I

ScottGem · Nov 17, 2006, 07:46 PM

If he signed a document relinquishing his parental rights then he doesn't really have a case. A court will not accept such an action lightly. It is generally irreversble.

Frankly, the attorney taking his money sounds like a sleaze.

dbek · Nov 17, 2006, 07:50 PM

My child is in a safe place right now. But he does knows where she is, but just many who know the circumstances and he is unable to see her. He also told me that I don't have to worry he won't be around after tomorrow for me just to wait and see. I asked him if he was going to do something to himself and he said "I didn't say that" I did advice someone to keep an eye on him and to watch him closely. But this just shows me it's in the best interest that he doesn't have visitation because if he's not in the right mind he could hurt himself and her. He has no visitation rights threw the courts.

s_cianci · Nov 19, 2006, 02:20 PM

He can always try to get visitation rights. Hopefully you can document the things you claim regarding his psychological instability and therefore it not being in the best interests of the child. Meanwhile you can apply for a restraining order against him to get him to stop contacting you directly. Anything he wants to say or do let it be done in front of a judge only.