[golightly]

We live very near and see my brother and sister in law frequently and although I will admit I do not care for her that has never been expressed to anyone but my husband and he feels the same. She is having a baby shower this weekend and as I was talking with my mother in law I asked what the invitations looked like and she said you didn't get one? I said no I was not invited. She looked stunned but dropped it. Well magically 24 hours later my mother in law calls me with this lame story of how she mentioned it to my sister in law and she said well she was supposed to be invited!! My month in law then tells me this lame story of how they sent to invitation to our old address from us moving over a year ago. Now did I mention that we have our mail forwarded and have always received our mail. Plus if it was returned why did the host not tell the sister in law the address was wrong and it was returned?? This is just another instance of my mother in law trying to cover up for the sisiter in laws shortcomings and rudeness. Should I send a gift now that I will receive an afterthought invitation?? I already have another set of gifts for when the baby arrives.

[CaptainForest]

Well, you don't like her, she probably has picked up on that.

But, she is rude not to invite you.

I wouldn't send a gift, but I would give the baby a gift when its born (like you said you already have done).

That's just my take on it.

[LisaB4657]

Don't assume that her story isn't true. Mail-forwarding orders expire after either 6 months or one year, depending on the type of mail. And if they did send it to your old address it can take up to a month to be returned to the person who sent it. Something similar happened to us. My brother-in-law sent a birthday card to my husband (his brother) but to our old address. It took 3 or 4 weeks to be returned to him. Then he called and asked why it was returned. We all had a good laugh when we realized that he'd sent it to our old address.

If they send another invitation, accept it, go to the shower and bring a gift. Be the better person. If they don't send another invitation then you have no obligation to send a gift.

[s_cianci]

Well, if you don't care for her very much then why do you even care whether you're invited or not? Since you're getting what could be questionably called an "afterthought" invitation, if it's even an invitation at all which is doubtful, I'd not go and not send a gift.

[golightly]

Update... it has been 10 days since the supposed replacement invitation was to have been sent and I have not received it yet. The shower has come and gone and I didn't go. She never called to apologized for the unfortunate oversight. I didn't send a gift. I am supposed to be helping to plan her other shower with her friend but the girl will not return my phone calls. The shower is still a month away but I work full time and am very active in charity work and have a huge fundraising event between now and then so I like to plan ahead. I will keep trying but really don't like the vibe I am getting. Not really anything I can do but wait and keep trying to call and plan the shower. Any opinions?? I just don't want to be perceived as doing anything but more than my share and trying more than I should. We have waited for three years for this girl to grow up and try to realize that we are part of this family but all she cares about is the mother and father in law that have the money. We are here to stay and will out last her.

[velvetjones]

Baby showers are chick parties, and if this lady (or ladies) doesn't like you, and you don't like them, why would you want to go? I wouldn't bother with any of this shower business. How many does a person need to have? How many gifts do they expect for one kid? I'd carry on with your charity work for the more deserving and forget about the shower business. You tried. They failed you. You're done.

[davishenshaw13]

We live very near and see my brother and sister in law frequently and although I will admit I do not care for her that has never been expressed to anyone but my husband and he feels the same. She is having a baby shower this weekend and as I was talking with my mother in law I asked what the invitations looked like and she said you didn't get one? I said no I was not invited. She looked stunned but dropped it. Well magically 24 hours later my mother in law calls me with this lame story of how she mentioned it to my sister in law and she said well she was supposed to be invited!!! My month in law then tells me this lame story of how they sent to invitation to our old address from us moving over a year ago. Now did I mention that we have our mail forwarded and have always received our mail. Plus if it was returned why did the host not tell the sister in law the address was wrong and it was returned???? This is just another instance of my mother in law trying to cover up for the sisiter in laws shortcomings and rudeness. Should I send a gift now that I will receive an afterthought invitation??? I already have another set of gifts for when the baby arrives.

Unless you like her than be pissed but if you don't like her than her you don't need her you could have fun with your hubby or something like that go on a date have more fun than she could at her baby shower

[Gifted1]

We live very near and see my brother and sister in law frequently and although I will admit I do not care for her that has never been expressed to anyone but my husband and he feels the same. She is having a baby shower this weekend and as I was talking with my mother in law I asked what the invitations looked like and she said you didn't get one? I said no I was not invited. She looked stunned but dropped it. Well magically 24 hours later my mother in law calls me with this lame story of how she mentioned it to my sister in law and she said well she was supposed to be invited!!! My month in law then tells me this lame story of how they sent to invitation to our old address from us moving over a year ago. Now did I mention that we have our mail forwarded and have always received our mail. Plus if it was returned why did the host not tell the sister in law the address was wrong and it was returned???? This is just another instance of my mother in law trying to cover up for the sisiter in laws shortcomings and rudeness. Should I send a gift now that I will receive an afterthought invitation??? I already have another set of gifts for when the baby arrives.

I have to say that what I'm about to suggest is the hardest route you could take but I happen to feel that sending a gift would be a great idea and showing up with your late invitation a platter and a gift would be even better. This little one is in your family now and its important for the baby to feel like this family loves each other. You never know what will happen My sister in law was so hard to deal with we were polar opposites and it started very rough but the baby came along and the little one picked me as her fav! I am now very close to all four of her kids. The relationship with her and my brother didn't last and now she has a new baby from another man and he is just as much my nephew as my brothers kids. The mother is still a lot to tolerate but those relationships with her kids would never have been what they are today if I didn't take the high road and plant a smile in my face when ever we were together
p.s
I am much closer to my brother now as well because I have formed such good relationships with her kids... so put all the crap aside and love the little one. She also may be feeling like she wants to be close to her friends and family cause she has a baby coming.

[metaluvers]

We live very near and see my brother and sister in law frequently and although I will admit I do not care for her that has never been expressed to anyone but my husband and he feels the same. She is having a baby shower this weekend and as I was talking with my mother in law I asked what the invitations looked like and she said you didn't get one? I said no I was not invited. She looked stunned but dropped it. Well magically 24 hours later my mother in law calls me with this lame story of how she mentioned it to my sister in law and she said well she was supposed to be invited!!! My month in law then tells me this lame story of how they sent to invitation to our old address from us moving over a year ago. Now did I mention that we have our mail forwarded and have always received our mail. Plus if it was returned why did the host not tell the sister in law the address was wrong and it was returned???? This is just another instance of my mother in law trying to cover up for the sisiter in laws shortcomings and rudeness. Should I send a gift now that I will receive an afterthought invitation??? I already have another set of gifts for when the baby arrives.

What you should do is come over in a pair of jeans and hard rockin t-shirt, tennis shoes. Come in with a huge wrapped package with for the baby shower. Tell them you can not stay for coffee put you figure you drop the present off. Then when she opens it make sure there is diapers only just the newborn size. Then put a card in and say "you might need some of these yourself because your full of "