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penrog · May 23, 2011, 04:40 AM

This case sounds like my life. I'm staying in NJ for the summer on vacation from GA. My daughter was born in July of 2008, in GA. The father completely abandoned us and I had to file for child support through the court system. The father resides in NJ and pays child support. He is requesting to legitimize her but I said no because he is in a very unstable relationship with a woman who was in a psychiatric hospital, had a hit and run, while under the influence, and domestic violence issues with the Non CP (father). I'm afraid that if I legetimze her she will be exposed to a dangerous environment and not able to articulate any of it. Please advise. Thank you.

JudyKayTee · May 23, 2011, 04:52 AM

Originally Posted by penrog

This case sounds like my life. I'm staying in NJ for the summer on vacation from GA. My daughter was born in July of 2008, in GA. The father completely abandoned us and I had to file for child support through the court system. The father resides in NJ and pays child support. He is requesting to legitimize her but I said no because he is in a very unstable relationship with a woman who was in a psychiatric hospital, had a hit and run, while under the influence, and domestic violence issues with the Non CP (father). I'm affraid that if I legetimze her she will be exposed to a dangerous environment and not able to articulate any of it. Please advise. Thank you.

I don't know what you mean by "legitimize" her. First, if he goes to Court and demands DNA testing (which might be what you are asking) he cannot legally refuse. How were you awarded child support without DNA testing, without him being declared the legal father?

"Legitimizing" your daughter changes nothing. If you don't want the father to have visitation then you go to Court, PROVE he's a danger to her (physically, emotionally) and ask for an Order that all visitation be supervised or that there be no visitation at all.

ScottGem · May 23, 2011, 05:17 AM

First, its not a good idea to piggyback your question on someone else's. So I've moved your questions to it's own thread.

If by "legitimize", you mean top have him listed on the child's birth certificate you have no choice. If he is the child's father all he has to do is go to court, have a paternity test done, and the court will order that he be recognized as the legal father. This may have actually been done already since he's been ordered to pay support.

However, you do have some input in allowing visitation. If you can prove there will be a danger to the child by allowing him unsupervised visitation, then you may be able to get restrictions on visitation.

penrog · May 24, 2011, 03:13 AM

Thank you ScottGem. My daughter still carries my last name because she was born in the state of GA and he refused to sign the birth certificate. He resides in NJ. We are going to court now, I just received papers yesterday, to determine the name. We (my daughter and I) are still residents of GA. However, all the paternity has been done and the father is paying child support, so I guess a judge will rule in the fathers favor. The main issue here will be proving he may be a danger to my daughter. I just want to protect her until she is old enough to articulate if she is being exposed to and domestic violence or substance abuse.

ScottGem · May 24, 2011, 03:30 AM

When posting a follow-up question or info, please use the Answer options at the bottom of the page rather than the Comments.

Proving him a danger will be difficult. It sounds like the problem is his girlfriend, not him. And getting info on her will be difficult. But good luck and keep us posted.

JudyKayTee · May 24, 2011, 05:43 AM

Did you read what I said initially? ""Legitimizing" your daughter changes nothing. If you don't want the father to have visitation then you go to Court, PROVE he's a danger to her (physically, emotionally) and ask for an Order that all visitation be supervised or that there be no visitation at all."

kcomissiong · May 24, 2011, 06:48 AM

Just an addition: If paternity has been done and he has been determined to be the father, then the birth registry should already be updated and any new copies of the birth certificate should show him as the father. The last name is pretty much an accessory at this point if he is the legal father.

JudyKayTee is absolutely correct: The last name will not make a shred of difference to a court when it comes to custody since he is already the legal father. It also won't stop him from petitioning for visitation or custody if he wished to do so. If you want to protect her, stop worrying about the name and secure orders for custody and visitation.