[derco]

My daughter is having a birthday party for hubby at a restaurant but needs everyone to pay their own dinner bill. Is there a polite way to include this on the party invitation?

[Alty]

Wow, that's a tough one.

Maybe something like;

Please join us at name of restaurant to celebrate name of husband birthday. I will be providing the cake.

This implies that she will only be paying for the cake and nothing else.

I don't know if it would work though. I'll keep thinking, maybe I can come up with something better. ;)

[neverme]

I don't know if this would work but what if you give out the invitations by hand for her and tell them in person. It's much easier to convey a message that isn't so easy in person.

Don't know it is a hard one though :)

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

BYOC = Bring Your Own Cash :)

[Lowtax4eva]

Technically she should put a notation "no host dinner" which means the host is not paying for the dinner, but most people probably won't know what that means... the above is good... or put something like, "join us for dinner at... cake and drinks will be offered by the host afterwards at ... (same place or somewhere else)"

[neverme]

Is that used a lot? It would be more difficult to have to explain if it isn't you know?

[Lowtax4eva]

Is what used a lot?

[neverme]

Sorry that was to the abbreviation above.

[Lowtax4eva]

BYOC ? I believe that was a joke, lol

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

Hee hee it was a joke but not a bad idea, huh?

[Fr_Chuck]

To be honest it is not done a lot that a party be hosted and you expect the guests to pay their own bill. This is something done better in person or on the phone.

[jjwoodhull]

Perhaps it would be better to host something that she can afford. Like a small cocktail party with hors d'oeurves. Otherwise, I think she should take him out to dinner - just the 2 of them. It will be difficult to avoid misunderstandings that lead to an embarrassing situation.

[Jake2008]

Just thinking if I received an invitation that said I was invited to a party, but I was expected to pay my own way.

I would probably decline, but I would appreciate a clear way to express that. I sure wouldn't want to attend a birthday party, then realize that, in addition to the gift, I have to fork over money to pay for my meal.

My husband and I attended what we thought was a dinner invitation to an engagement party, at a local restaurant, along with about six other couples.

There was no mention of paying for our meals, and everyone had a lovely dinner, and drinks. Afterward, there was cake, and gifts were opened.

Then to our surprise, the bill arrived, and the host took out a pen, and divided the bill into 7, and announced what we all owed.

I was flabbergasted. We had only one drink each, others had 10 times that amount, and we didn't have the best items on the menu, but others did.

It ended up costing us a small fortune, and I was steaming. The gift, the meal, and paying a larger portion to compensate for other's meals was really rude of the host.

Whatever you end up doing, (maybe changing the venue to your home?), I hope you are very clear on what the guests are expected to pay for.

I just don't think it's right to invite people to a party, and expect them them to pay for it.

[dontknownuthin]

A casual email is a great way to go, "I thought it would be fun to get together on Friday for dinner at Dinos, if that wouldn't be too costly for everyone. What do you guys think? It's going to be Mikes birthday, and I think it would be fun for him to celebrate with all of his friends. Any other ideas? Are you free Friday?"

This way you are making plans with friends instead of for them, and they get a say in the cost and location that they will be buying their dinner.

Another option - take the boyfriend out for a private dinner, and then meet up with friends later for a few drinks and dancing.