[PatriciaD]

My eighteen year old daughter is headstrong and disobedient and insists that since she is 18, she can do whatever she wants. She believes that I cannot tell her what to do anymore, and that if she is asked to pay rent, that she is not accountable to me.
Of course, I disagree since she is living in my home and needs to not only follow my rules, but needs to pay rent like any other "tenant".
I am in the process of drawing up a contract for her to sign. I want to outline to her the various choices that she currently has with her immediate future. Needless to say, she is my daughter and I love her with all my heart, first and foremost - BUT, I will not allow myself to be manipulated and disrespected as I don't deserve it and have younger children in my home. My question is specifically referring to the proper way to go about asking her to leave my home, (in the event she refuses to comply) taking into consideration the '30 day notice' if that even applies and whatever else I need to consider.
Any suggestions?

[N0help4u]

Writing up a contract is good.
You have to give 30 day notice or whatever is the legal amount of time in your state.
Find out the exact amount of days for your state and include that in your contract
That if you do not comply with

I have the right to evict you in xx days.
I am not sure if you have to go through a magistrate if they are your kid.

Remember if you DO evict her it can cause a lot of hard feelings
But sometimes tough love is what is needed

[Mom of 2]

I am with the understanding that since she is an adult, you are no longer required by law to house, feed and clothe her. If she is unable to live by certain rules and she is disrespecting you, then she needs to go. Even adults need rules so her statement that since she is an adult, she can do whatever she wants is totally hog wash. Yeah, all of us adults can do anything that we want, but if we break the law, we can be arrested and/or thrown into jail. If we do not follow rules at work, we can and will be fired eventually. Threats are only threats if they are not carried through. If she is making your life miserable and is morally endangering your ever impressionable younger children, you have to get her to move out. I am a true believer in communication and trying to negotiate what is needed/wanted/required, so please try talking to her again before doing anything drastic. If she is not paying rent and has not signed anything she is not a tenant and therefore does not have any tenant rights. She is living there as a privilege not a right. You need to lay it all on the line that if she does not agree to live by your rules, you will have no other choice than to force her to move out. If talking does not resolve the issue, then you will have to forcibly remove her from your home. I would not tell her HOW you are going to do this, just tell her that you will do it. If you tell her how you are going to do this, you will then be at a disadvantage. Here is what I would suggest:

1. Change the locks when she is away from the house. Call a locksmith who can do this quickly. Change ALL locks, or at least the one that she has the key to. If you have a garage with an opener and there is a garage code, make sure you change the code. Lock all doors and windows if those locks are not going to be changed.
2. Move all of her stuff out to the curb. If her name is not on the mortgage, she has no rights. If she has not signed a lease agreement, she has no rights.
3. Make sure that your younger children are at someone else's house (grandparent's, aunts, uncles or a close family friend) so that they do not witness any negative commotion that will surely go on.
4. Be ready to have witnesses present just in case anything should happen.
5. If you feel that there will be an emotional/physical altercation, make sure that all of the doors are locked and you are inside. Do not under any circumstances come outside unless you are directed to do so by the police.

You have every right to protect yourself and your younger children and that is what you are doing by kicking her to the curb if she cannot agree to live by certain rules. First and foremost, try and resolve this issue by talking it out. I really hope that you can.

I hope this helps!!

[nicki143]

Does your daughter have somewhere else to go?
I do not think I could kick my kids out the house if they have nowhere

[cdad]

I agree with mom of 2 but I do have 2 issues where I disagree.

1) I am with the understanding that since she is an adult, you are no longer required by law to house, feed and clothe her.
In some states the child support lasts until a child reaches the age of 21 so if your in one of those states then your obligation may or may not continue after the age of 18

2) she can do whatever she wants is totally hog wash.
Actually it is true she CAN do whatever she wants. The real issue is.. just not in my house.
If she wants to make her own decisions she is free to do so just in another place and she also gets ALL the responsibility that comes with it.

Other then those 2 things I thought that was very good advice from Mom of 2. Be sure to check with a lawyer on what status your local laws have in this matter so you can co-ordinate things as needed. You might even talk ahead of time with your local police so they will know how to respond and don't add to it anything unneeded.

[jadiiex123]

I agree with some of the things you are saying, and I find the contract very good. But if your daughter does go over the line and breaaks you rules than make sure she has somewhere to stay. I could never kick her out with no where to go, you musn't know about all the things what could happen to a homeless 18 year old, it's a big big world out their, and with no shelter or a home she is reliable to all the bad things.

[dnny767]

OKAY! So they don't have a place to go. Believe me they won't find a place and I'm not! (I have a unruly 18 yr old boy) So how is this going to work? Sometimes you have to let them deal with things on their own. This is such a sad predicament. Who would have thought about this when they were such sweet children. I failed as a mom with this beautiful boy! So sad! :(

[GV70]

LOL-please keep in mind that this is three year old post before posting.

[CredULuos]

I disagree with mom of 2 on certain points. Mostly I agree but you have to go through due process if anyone is a RESIDENT in your home, rent paying or not. A non rent paying,no written lease resident in your home is called a Tenant-at-will and they have rights(EVERYONE has rights once you let them live with you.) similar to a paying tenant a leasing tenant simply has signed a contract that automatically terminates those rights after the outlined terms end... What this means though is that both parties have the right to cancel the tenancy AT WILL considering a 30 day notice.. In some ways having a tenant that is NOT under any lease or payment schedule can make it HARDER to evict, as they have not broken any contractual agreements, making it harder to prove to a judge or jury what cause you have for kicking them out considering why you let them live there. Make sure they have not and will not issue a list of grievances that they have presented to you or any government agency,it will delay the eviction process by at least 6 months, because of Retaliatory Eviction law.

[lisaposhie]

Maybe that is because your child has not put you through hell... ie - stole all of your jewelry, came home drunk & puking all night, loves cocaine, had a party in your home while you were at work almost on a daily basis - what do you thinK?

[ebaines]

Lisa - you do realize that this topic is over 5 years old, right? If you are taking issue with the information that an 18-year old has rights as a tenant-at-will you need to think again. In most states 30-days written notice of eviction is required (though some states allow as few as ten), followed by a court order if the person has not moved out, and ultimately the sherriff (not the home owner) being called to forcibly evict the person along with his/her possessions.

I would also point out that while 18 is the age of majority in most states there are some that use age 19 or graduation from high school. Obviously you cannot kick a child out who has not yet reached age of majority.