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    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #1

    Aug 1, 2007, 11:44 AM
    Ex fiancé has not given ring back
    I'm not taking her to court but my ex fiancé broke up with me 6 months ago. I paid $7500.00 for engagement ring and she has not given it back. I heard she has a new boyfriend.

    So do think the rite thing/classything to do is to give ring back.
    crystalbivens's Avatar
    crystalbivens Posts: 489, Reputation: 26
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    #2

    Aug 1, 2007, 11:49 AM
    If you gave it to her then it's hers sorry but that's how its going to probely play out unless she just feels you should have it back.
    rankrank55's Avatar
    rankrank55 Posts: 1,259, Reputation: 177
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    #3

    Aug 1, 2007, 11:53 AM
    I agree with crystal; it is hers now, you gave it to her. Legally there is just no way to get it back. Good luck!
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #4

    Aug 1, 2007, 11:55 AM
    I'll give you the other side of the coin here. The ring was given on the basis of a promise of marriage and since that promise did not come about, the ring goes back to you. If you took her to court over this, you would most likely win. Have seen cases like this and the woman was not allowed to keep the ring. Happened to me once and I also did not get to keep the ring. Goood luck.
    LearningAsIGo's Avatar
    LearningAsIGo Posts: 2,653, Reputation: 350
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    #5

    Aug 1, 2007, 12:02 PM
    I tend to disagree with shygrneyzs based on what I've seen in my area. The ring is deemed as a gift and a court will not have it returned to you. I guess it depends on the circumstances, though.

    Etiquette says if you broke her heart, she should keep it. If she broke yours, or its mutual, she should give it back.

    Personally, I wouldn't want that kind of reminder. However, she could have gotten rid of it already...
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #6

    Aug 1, 2007, 12:07 PM
    She broke up with me again 2 months in the breakup I told her I still wanted to marry her and be her son's father. I don't care about the ring no more but I think the classy thing to do is give it back. But I heard she still has it.
    crystalbivens's Avatar
    crystalbivens Posts: 489, Reputation: 26
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    #7

    Aug 1, 2007, 12:09 PM
    Unfortunally for him he did give it to her as a gift so its hers, I would give it back myself if I had broke off the engagemnet just to be respectful but now everyone sees it that way.
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #8

    Aug 1, 2007, 02:13 PM
    SAB honey, not to sound cold hearted but you have been asking this question in a few different ways for over 3 months now, along with quite a number of other questions about your ex. Of course the right thing for her to do would be to give you the ring back! But, she has refused to do so. And, from all that you have written about her since you joined this web site, she sounds like a very unstable woman. She has placed you on a roller coaster ride of emotional torture.

    Honey, you need to get proactive here and stop letting her and thoughts of her, control you like this. Be grateful that you are free from this selfish woman. If you want to try to sue her to get the ring back, then do so. Just be prepared that in a regular court of law, you probably won't win, due to the amount of times you both have broken up with each other, only to get back together again. It becomes a very muddy issue as to whether the ring eventually became a mere gift, rather than an actual contract with the understanding that a marriage would take place. But, if you go on Judge Judy's television program, as someone on one of your earlier threads suggested, it might be your best shot of actually getting the ring back.

    If you don't want to sue her, then you need to find a way to move on from her and stop obsessing over material things you gave to her. Personallly, I think you are so much better off without her. I know it is easier said, than done, to move on from her. But, you have to think about the fact that there was a lot of stress and arguing in your relationship with her. She has played some major head games with you. Who needs that kind of garbage in their lives? No one. No one deserves to be in a relationship that you never know where you stand from one day to the next. Forget about her and her new boyfriend (the next sucker in her life) and start finding some happiness for yourself. Start searching for someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.
    stonewilder's Avatar
    stonewilder Posts: 420, Reputation: 99
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    #9

    Aug 1, 2007, 03:24 PM
    An engagement ring is not a gift, it is a promise and when that promise is broken the ring is not morally or legally hers.
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #10

    Aug 1, 2007, 03:57 PM
    You are right stonewilder, if the girl is the one who broke the engagement. If the man breaks it, she has a right to keep it. That is the standard ettiquette and it is considered a contract under the law in certain states. But, go back and read all of SAB's posts. They broke up, got back together, broke up, got back together,. He paid for a boob job for her and wanted to sue her over that at one point, along with the ring. This question that SAB has posted here goes a lot deeper than a simple etiquette question. Other people have answered this very same question which was posed in a couple of different ways, under different forums over the past few months. I don't understand this obsession to keep gathering opinions. I am very worried about him.
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #11

    Aug 2, 2007, 05:23 AM
    No I'm not obssesed I just want to know the etiquette if people think by giving it back is the rite thing to do. Actually I'm healing pretty fast and would never tak her back.I just want to know from a woman point of view if giving it back is the rite thing to do.
    LearningAsIGo's Avatar
    LearningAsIGo Posts: 2,653, Reputation: 350
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    #12

    Aug 2, 2007, 07:13 AM
    I would give it back. OR, if you did something terrible, I'd chuck it into a river.

    Did you ask her for it or just waiting to see if she does?
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #13

    Aug 2, 2007, 07:16 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by LearningAsIGo
    I would give it back. OR, if you did something terrible, I'd chuck it into a river.

    Did you ask her for it or just waiting to see if she does?
    All I did was love her and her son. And in the beginning I did ask for it back she said her ring would never be on another persons finger. But I don't care about the ring anymore. Unless she sells it I would be a little upset.
    But I think giving it back shows she has class. But I guess I'm wrong.
    Canada_Sweety's Avatar
    Canada_Sweety Posts: 597, Reputation: 49
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    #14

    Aug 2, 2007, 07:18 AM
    If you want it back, just ask for it....
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #15

    Aug 2, 2007, 07:20 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Canada_Sweety
    If you want it back, just ask for it....
    I don't want to see or speak to her again.
    Canada_Sweety's Avatar
    Canada_Sweety Posts: 597, Reputation: 49
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    #16

    Aug 2, 2007, 08:46 AM
    If she lived in my area I would go for ya....
    Unfortunately I'm almost positive she doesn't live in Canada. Try gettign someone you're close to (ie: family member or close friend) to go for you. But it would make a much bolder statement if you did it yourself.
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #17

    Aug 2, 2007, 08:59 AM
    As Chuff told me in a e-mail she no's I wanted it back so she may be holding on to it for her to come back one day.
    Canada_Sweety's Avatar
    Canada_Sweety Posts: 597, Reputation: 49
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    #18

    Aug 2, 2007, 09:03 AM
    Umm.... taht confused me a bit... But I still think it would make a bolder statement if you actually spoke to ehr.saw her so she would think you're good and ready to move on. But then again, I don't know the whole story.
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #19

    Aug 2, 2007, 09:42 AM
    I perfer to just move on and let her have it. By her keeping it she just looks like a idiot with no class:)
    Canada_Sweety's Avatar
    Canada_Sweety Posts: 597, Reputation: 49
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    #20

    Aug 2, 2007, 09:47 AM
    Also true. Props on the whole seeing another way of manipulating the situation.:)

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