[Melody]

Hi! I have been looking forever on the internet for an answer, but haven't been successful... maybe you can help. We are getting new carpet tomorrow and we do not wear our shoes in the house... but, when we have company, they will come in with the nastiest shoes you've ever seen! How can I let them know I'd like them to take off their shoes without offending them? I do not wear shoes in their homes. We are actually having to get new carpet because of people not removing their shoes. It's just beyond cleaning at this point. TIA Melody

[labman]

Lighten up, get a darker carpet that is stain resistant while you still have friends willing to visit. Also put in a walk or something to keep the mud or whatever off people's shoes. Life is too short to be worrying about carpets. I have a hardwood floor in my family room where I can enjoy visits with my friends and their dogs.

[Melody]

Your not understanding... we have sidewalks and they do NOT walk through the mud to get into my house. I have grease stains on my carpet because men wear their work boots into my house and I have a yellow paint stain wear a friends husband wore his painting shoes into my house... oh, they apologise, but I'm the one paying $3,000 to have my carpet replaced. And, FWIW, it is darker carpet that I have coming... still would rather not have to spend another $3000 because a rare visitor ruins it. I have dogs and we wipe THEIR feet before they come in... I have 3 children and they remove their shoes... telling me to lighten up is not what I asked for, I asked for a way of saving my carpet from peoples nasty shoes. :-/

[Scorpio848]

Be subtle. Put a sign out by the front door. You could even have a cute one made of wood at almost any mall. And then they see it and get the hint. Should they ask if it is serious when you answer the door, tell them politely that yes, you prefer people to take off their shoes. Then in the future they will know ahead of time and make sure to have a pair of clean socks on with no holes. :)

Scorpio

[Gkhster]

I hate taking off my shoes. Yet, when I visit a home, I take a look at the inhabitant's feet. If there is any question, I ASK if I should remove my shoes.

Hey, it is your home. If I want to come in, I had better abide with your rules.

I should add, that if my feet were cruddy, and YIKES covered in wet paint, it would be the ultimate in rudeness to trod on your carpet!

Some people will need a sign, or they won't think of their shoes.

Sometimes I've got cruddy socks going on. (They may have started clean, but a day's worth of grunge takes its toll) I wouldn't be offended if you offered the use of a pair of your husband's socks. Perhaps if you sense discomfort with the 'take off your shoes' request, you could be ready with such an offer. Just a thought.

I hope that this helps.

Guy

[Pinay24]

We are very opposite since we have a carpeted floor & my husband won't allow even just us to walk around having bare feet. But we always have our carpet cleaned by professional carpet cleaners at least once a month or every two months aside from a regular cleaning using vacuum cleaner.

Anyway this is common in most oriental/asian countries to take off the shoes when you get inside some people's house. But try to remember in some cases like these that you have to provide also a sleeper(s) for visitor(s) to wear inside your house just to avoid those diseases from the feet just in case.

[andrewbaker]

Hi Melody,

You are absolutely right, and should have no hesitation in asking visitors to remove their shoes.

I live in an apartment where the residents have recently collectively paid for new carpeting of the communal hallways. Each block contains 4 apartments, and at the communal front doors there is a smart sign saying, "NEW CARPETS - PLEASE REMOVE SHOES ON ENTRY". Of course it is difficult to enforce this, but we have not encountered any problems.

Residents remove their shoes at the entrance and usullay carry them to their apartment, and visitors leave their shoes just insdide the front door. For example, last week I had a visit form a sales lady fr a finance company. When she arrived and saw the sign and that I was I my socked feet, she just slipped off her formal shoes and left them at the front door. In fact, when she was leaving she remarked on how nice it was to have been able to slip her shoes off for an hour or so!

Similarly, when my girlfriend comes from work and stays overnight, she simply slips off her shoes at the front door and leaves them there overnight. When she is leaving next morning, she goes downstairs to the front door in her work suit and stockinged feet, and slips her shoes before leaving.

You should have no hesitation in copying this ecample, _ I am sure it would work!

[smark]

Do not feel bad. I'm Black and I make all of my guest take off there shoes. I live in a penthouse apartment downtown long beach ca and my carpet is between butter milk and egg shell color and it can get dirty quick. My mother ignore's the policy but my 4 year old daughter reminds her all the time. Do people know what we walk on in our shoes throughout the day.
Gum, urine, spit, bugs and who know what ever else is on the ground. But stick to your rules and if they deal with it good and who ever doesn't like it don't have to visit.

[Plumbpudding]

Smark! You nailed it! Yes, shoes walk through the damndest crap and you've mentioned some of the worst. Why people take offense at taking their shoes off is beyond me. I believe in using common sense--and being hygienic is right up there. We are definitely on the same page!

You want in this house, then off come the shoes. HOWEVER, the carpets onto which I walk in stocking feet had best be in pristine condition. I have been in the odd home which had I been asked to remove my shoes I would have flatly refused. The crud was incredibly bad--the way some people choose to keep their homes is beyond me. It's just not healthy--never mind the aesthetics of the matter!

By the way, Smark, am I missing something? What has "Black" got to do with removing one's shoes? Just curious?

[andrewbaker]

Word spreads!

As a follow up to my earlier post I had another visit from the finance company's sales lady last week. She again removed her shoes at the door and came into my apartment in her stockinged feet. However, I thought her comments might interest people.

She said that following her previous visit she had decided to remove her shoes when visiting all clients in their homes! She said that our example had made her realise it was a sensible thing to do, and that she never wore shoes in her home and would expect visitors to remove theirs. She added that she always wore the same court shoes for work, and that as they were old and worn and she never bothered to clean them, it was best to remove them in clients homes - she also added that on a personal level she found it comfy not having to wear them all day long!

She then added that she had told 2 female clleagues about her new attitude and that they had also started to remove their shoes when visiting clients in their homes! She said that 1 of them went in stockinged feet like her, and that the other lady had started to carry a pair of slippers in her bag which she changed into when visiting clint's homes.

She also said that she had told her 20 year old daughter who worked in an office in town, and that her daughter had decided to take her shoes off when she arrived in work and go all day in her stoickinged feet around the office! She said her daughter walked across an area of grass on her way to work,as a result of which she often had wet or muddy shoes which was why she had decided to take her shoes off in the office. She also said her daughter had commented to her on how much more comfortable she found it working in her stockinged feet all day, and that she much preffered it to wearing her formal shoes around the office where she worked!

[wearelistening]

Hello,
I have a 4 year old and an 11 month old, that both play on the floor.
I'd be hard-presssed to let either of them on a floor that was walked on by shoes that were goodness-knows-where.
Think about all the places you've walked today. And then take all those germs and grime and gunk and smear it all over your floor. Now get on your hands and knees and crawl around in it.
Not a pretty sight?

I always ask people to take their shoes off when they come into my home. I think having new carpet is a wonderful reason to ask--even if it's not new, you'd like to keep it looking new!
Kids are also another reason... taking your shoes off at the door to keep the floor clean for tiny hands is just as important as washing your hands after changing a poopy diaper before serving a guest a slice of cake.

Tell them THAT if they frown on removing their shoes!

Check out wearelistening on msn... Join todday!
Amy

[amySlater]

I love this site. Who would have dreamed that I would find such a heated debate about taking off your shoes in the house. I would love it if people showed me the respect of taking off their shoes so I don't have to work quite so hard to keep this place in order. However, I have a new baby on the way and will be returning to my normal y self upon my little ones arrival. Not only do the shoes come off but the cigarettes, perfumes, air fresheners, hairsprays and anything else that I think my baby will find offensive go out the door as well. My first baby had asthma and got a horrific case of RSV and I have been a ever since. My so called best friend and I parted ways because she refused to plaster her hair with aquanet outside of my infants breathing space. I also asked her not to let her boyfriend smoke in the house and she did. This just goes to show that anything that a person may see as a minor inconvenience can cause major rifts. I imagine that anyone who refuses to take their shoes off upon entering someone's house is either extremely overweight and lazy or has some nasty- feet that they don't want anyone to see or smell. I eventually had to post a sign about the shoe issue and after I stood my ground, I got my way which isn't at all selfish considering it is my home.
Amy

[psi42]

not to let her boyfriend smoke in the house

Baby or no baby, I find it appalling he would even consider smoking in your residence at all...

[Dave123]

Several of us go around in stocking feet at the office. It's informal, relaxing, and some of us feel we concentrate better and are more productive. I recommend it! :)

[Dave123]

I'm always in my socks at home. I've never worn shoes at home ever since I can remember. Here is a gentle way I successfully get guests out of their shoes. I just say something like, "By the way, we're very informal here. So if you want to lose your shoes and be comfortable, go right ahead." More often than not it works.

[nightwingaz]

I had a friend who had the same problem. She supplied her guests with shoe covers (like the ones they use in surgeries). Had a sign and a box of booties by the door. I thought it was rude, especially since she invited us. Did make for a lot of fun gossip though.
Nightwing

[CroCivic91]

Here is a gentle way I successfully get guests out of their shoes. I just say something like, "By the way, we're very informal here. So if you want to lose your shoes and be comfortable, go right ahead." More often than not it works.

I like this a lot. VERY gentle way to handle the situation.

In my home, we do not wear shoes. It's the way we were brought up. Also, what ever home I enter, I always start taking my shoes off. Though, I've found it strange that some people INSIST on keeping your shoes on around the house. They probably had a bad experience with some smelly feet or something. :o *shrugs helplessly*

[booyah]

The first thing I do when I come home is take off my shoes. I prefer to walk around in my stocking feet. I never force my guests to remove shoes though. I want them to be comfortable when visiting my home. Most people do take off their shoes, but it doesn't bother me if they don't. I can always mop and vacuum.

I have a few friends who don't allow shoes in their house. It's no big deal to me. Once you get used to being in your socks it becomes second nature to take off your shoes.

[unis]

I think you should put a rack of shoes outside and several sizes of slippers is you know that people or friends are visiting... so when you approach the door you can say this is like place your shoes here... it will be safe there and have a pair of slippers so your feet won't get dirty... its like not saying directly that don't comein with your shoes but indirectly saying it...

If you still uncomfortable with this... maybe then you should just clean the carpet after a party or visit so if theyhave stained your carpet you can take it at once before it dries up. Or have a professional cleaner to do it too.

[BSN22]

It is not rude or inappropriate to ask a guest to remove their shoes before walking into your home and I do not believe any guest would be insulted... inconvenienced perhaps but too bad... its your house, your carpet, and you don't want their dirty feet wrecking it any sooner than normal wear and tear would...

I would suggest having a place for the shoes. A special mat or a shoe rack. Having something attractive at the entrance to your home for guests to put their shoes in. And when they ask, "should I take off my shoes?" You may simply reply, "yes, thank you".