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ashachelani · Jul 14, 2008, 12:33 AM

I not am not in a position to live life now. I am working and married from last 7 years and don't have kids. My mother in law and sister in law have made my life like a hell. They always interfere in my life and I had no right to even have a food of my choice. My husband could not resist them. So we moved out leaving all the property and even my belongings with them. They are now very happy. I am suffering financially and living in a rented house. No one comes to meet us. No one takes care of us. My parents are also not in a position to help us. I am alone not able to concentrate on my office work. Feels like sick, mentally and physically weak. There is no direction in my life I have lost the path. Whomsoever I shared my feelings, first they apologized for my condition but later exploit me by taking my help in their household work. This really disturb my self-respect but I can not say anything as I am emotionally weak. Can any one please help me to come out of this situation.

Alty · Jul 14, 2008, 12:43 AM

Firstly, you are married, you have to take care of yourselves, you are adults, mommy and daddy don't have to take care of you anymore.

Secondly, why are you helping other people with their housework if you don't want to? Just say no.

You have to start living for you, get your finances together and make the most of this situation.

Maybe it's also time to seek counselling, that might help you deal with some of your issues.

Good luck.

yazz226 · Jul 14, 2008, 01:37 AM

Absolutely... u don't have to depend on anyone... uv not made a wise decision in leaving YOUR home... but now its too late... dnt wrry... u should become more of a spiritual person by now..

OK anyway... try a small hme business... if you are good at stitching or anything of that sort.. try your hand at it... if you are working... wrk extra time.. try out new opportunities... giv your hand at everything you are good at or something that you are sure you could learn at the long run.. keep your mind busy and keep active.. ur husband should also have been affected mentally... u should help him recover. Be lving to him and start counting your blessings... this about the people on the road who have no shelter to leave or no food... if you compare with the downtrodden you will bfeel secured and thank Almighty that you are much priviledged than them. All the best and hope things wrk out for u. and also, this is your time.. u don't have childern too.. so life is only you and your husband.. u have a lot of time for yourself.. use it wisely before Almighty blesses you with a baby.

Choux · Jul 15, 2008, 03:24 PM

I get the feeling that you are not from an American or English speaking first world culture. Is that correct?

If so, what culture are you from; different cultures have different customs. :)

yazz226 · Jul 16, 2008, 02:34 AM

Originally Posted by Choux

I get the feeling that you are not from an American or English speaking first world culture. Is that correct?

If so, what culture are you from; different cultures have different customs. :)

You are right Choux... I bet she is an Indian.. coz even I am frm India so I know the customs.. :p

ashachelani · Jul 16, 2008, 03:34 AM

Originally Posted by yazz226

u r right Choux...i bet she is an Indian..coz even i am frm India so i know the customs..:p

You are right. I am an indian and living in a colony where only one community lives. So you can understand how much societal pressure I am facing on being apart from in-laws.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 16, 2008, 06:18 AM

Originally Posted by ashachelani

I not am not in a position to live life now. I am working and married from last 7 years and don't have kids. My mother in law and sister in law have made my life like a hell. They always interfere in my life and I had no right to even have a food of my choice. My husband could not resist them. So we moved out leaving all the property and even my belongings with them. They are now very happy. I am suffering financially and living in a rented house. No one comes to meet us. No one takes care of us. My parents are also not in a position to help us. I am alone not able to concentrate on my office work. Feels like sick, mentally and physically weak. There is no direction in my life I have lost the path. Whomsoever I shared my feelings, first they apologized for my condition but later exploit me by taking my help in their household work. This really disturb my self-respect but I can not say anything as I am emotionally weak. Can any one please help me to come out of this situation.

I started to answer this from the AMERICIAN view Point, but where do you live, what county, since if you are in Japan, or China, disrespect for your husbands parents in old culture could get your beaten or thrown out as in some middle eastern culture. So I am not quick to tell you to do something till I know more about who you are and where you are at.

reesetess · Jul 16, 2008, 04:08 PM

Get out. You have no obligations to these people, husbands like that are just a bad choice, you have no kids, Do you have anyone to help you , support you, friends, organizations...

I have a friend from India , New Delhi, fixed marriage, he drove her insane, literally, she has tried to kill herself more than once, thank god she has children who love her, she is smart , intelligent, has her own family money...

If you can get out there and are in America, get out... How old are you? That doesn't really matter, but if your man, husband is going to let this happen to you, I understand how it works, it's old school, but if you are in America, your free,, there are people to help you, there are organizations, churches, shelters... You do not have to live your life in misery, If you are a christian person, get over it, Marriage , he is not standing by you taking care of you, he broke his vows first, you are just going to clean it up..

And you will.. Come back, tell us what is going on, there are so many people with suggestions, contacts, hope... Just the fact that you came here, shows you want that.

Don't stop..

Love you and feel for you already... take it day by day, but know , each day is your next day of freedom. I do hope you are here in America... We are the land of the free , the home of the brave, they didn't just make that up you know... Love you.. Reese/

yazz226 · Jul 17, 2008, 06:21 AM

How have you taken my comment.. start counting your blessings because... Indians like us must fight this traditions of us being bossed over, even by our little sis in laws... I face the same.. but I am OK.. ok.. only after a little struggle.. I still live with them... iv started to count my blessings.. I hope you would too and make the most of the opportunity.. tc