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Shiang · Mar 16, 2009, 08:32 PM

Hiya. Lol I took your title. I'm so uncreative. 8)
So I've gotten this much like an hour before I went to sleep this morning haha.
Though I feel like there should be a different choice of words for a better flow. :(

From the fairytale that brought me to you,
I've always thought
From the time you vanished
I've never forgot
And 'til now
Like to love,
A one-sided escalation
The book I read
And the one I'm reading,
I love them both.

However out story unfolds,
Through stormy days
Or muddy roads
You'll still be my prince.
Where you go
I will come.
Where I can't
I will wait.

I'll be there for you,
I promise you.

About the "River flows in you" video, it was very pretty! But a bit slow for me.

Clough · Mar 16, 2009, 11:57 PM

Hi, Shiang!

I'm sorry that I wasn't on at about the time that I said that I would be. I was having some major connection problems, so I decided to do some major computer maintenance. It took a couple of hours.

I will work on this. Please give me some time, though.

Yes, the words could be somewhat different for a better flow. Many times, songs and pieces are written and re-written many times until things are just right.

But, I do think that I get the idea of what you are trying to convey as far as the thought and meaning is concerned.

Thanks!

Shiang · Mar 17, 2009, 06:18 AM

That's all right. I fell asleep after I posted it haha.
Computer maintenance causes connection problems?

As long as it takes. :)

Oh that's good. Most of the time I confuse people. [especially when I give driving directions haha]

Thank you, Clough.

Clough · Mar 17, 2009, 02:10 PM

I figured that I had to try something to get things to work faster...

I'll return later this evening to work on this, Shiang.

I have a performance and then a rehearsal tonight.

Thanks!

Shiang · Mar 17, 2009, 03:52 PM

Okie dokie. Good luck on your preformance. c:

Clough · Mar 17, 2009, 09:32 PM

Hi again, Shiang!

Here's a possible re-write of some of what you've written so that it has definite verses, meter, balance and some sort of chorus part.

I'm trying not to leave anything out, and also retain your original thoughts, but I think that the order of sentences could work better for a song if placed in a different order.

From the fairytale that brought me to you,
I've always thought from the time you vanished,

How the story unfolds, throughout stormy days,
Through muddy roads, you'll still be my prince.

Where you go, I will come.
Where I can't, I will wait.

To be there for you,
I promise to you.

Please let me know what you think.

Thanks!

Shiang · Mar 17, 2009, 09:44 PM

It sounds... so much better! :0
Though seems like the second and third sentence says that it thought of how the story unfolds? :S

Clough · Mar 17, 2009, 10:25 PM

Sorry about taking so long to come back here, Shiang! After I wrote post #6, I couldn't get back on the site. Connection problems, again! Restarted my computer. Wireless connection doesn't seem to be working very well right now, so have switched to a dial-up connection.

How's this one that's below?

From the fairytale that brought me to you,
I've always thought from the time that you vanished,

However our story unfolds, throughout stormy days,
Through muddy roads, you'll still be my prince.

Where you go, I will go.
Where I can't, I will then await.

To be there for you,
I promise to you.

Thanks!

Shiang · Mar 17, 2009, 10:33 PM

That's not a problem. :)

That sounds good as well, but still with the lines two and three, I feel like they should be separate with a period or something. Like to say that I thought of him, but not think of a story, you know? Am I confusing? :s

Clough · Mar 17, 2009, 10:40 PM

I'm here and I hope that I'll stay connected!

Would you please write how you would like them to be so that I know precisely what you mean?

I'm thinking that the song should be in 3/4 time. The lyrics would need to fit that sort of meter then.

Thanks!

Shiang · Mar 17, 2009, 10:56 PM

I hope so too. :)

All right I'll give it a go

What is 3/4 time?

Clough · Mar 17, 2009, 11:00 PM

3/4 time is three beats in a measure. It's called a time signature.

Just please re-write those two lines to the way that you would like them to be, if you would be so kind.

This is a song that's being developed, and there could be many changes to it.

When we've gotten some music going to it, and you print out and play them music, you'll be better able to understand what I mean by meter, time signatures and how the words to a song fit with them.

Thanks!

Shiang · Mar 17, 2009, 11:03 PM

Oh hmm like in a dance? How it some times goes by eight counts, then six, and on?

Just this one, I wanted to add that "of you" but it just doesn't sound... nice.
"I've always thought [of you] from the time that you vanished."

Clough · Mar 17, 2009, 11:11 PM

Yes, the beats and rhythms used from meters and time signatures are like dance.

The changes below will work with 3/4 time.

From the fairytale that brought me to you,
I've always thought about you from the time you vanished.

What would you like to title of the song to be, please?

Thanks!

Shiang · Mar 17, 2009, 11:21 PM

Oh okay. I dance so maybe what I learn there could help me understand. :)

Two yous in once line bothers me somehow.

Ack it's so hard to think of a title! Perhaps something like "vitality"? Or maybe that one is just to um irrelevant?

Oh this is so random but, why is it that you have thanks at the end of nearly every post? Is it like a signature?

Clough · Mar 17, 2009, 11:29 PM

What kind of dancing are you learning?

Two "yous" in a sentence is okay. We can always experiment with finding different ways to word any sentence though.

I can think of lots of ideas for a title, if you'd like to know what they are, please let me know. However, it is your song and I'm trying to make it from your heart.

I say thanks at the end of nearly every post to be polite and to have a closure to the post. I know that I overdo it sometimes, but it has become a habit. I also don't do it all of the time, but I do like my posts to be as friendly as possible and not abrupt or insensitive.

Thanks! LOL!

Shiang · Mar 17, 2009, 11:38 PM

Popping, Jerking, Contemporary[?], and African modern. Many types of dance, though I don't know most of their names.
Our main teacher has three assistants to help him introduce other styles.

I'd love to know what they are. :) It's just like, I get a blank when I have to think of it when asked, do you know what I mean?

Ohh I see. It reminds of me a classmate of mine. She has a habit of saying sorry, though sometimes it doesn't make sense when she does.

Haha I shall say you're welcome at the end then. XD

Clough · Mar 17, 2009, 11:47 PM

I'm glad that you're taking formal dance training!

What kind of music training, if any, have you had? Have you had any music classes in school?

Possible titles:

I Will Wait for You

My Promise to You

To the One I Love

My Song to You

Considering the type of dance styles that you're learning, I can see why "The River Flows in You" is probably too slow for your liking.

Shiang · Mar 17, 2009, 11:55 PM

Music training? Hmm I don't think I've had any classes on music, except in fourth grade. Haha.

That class is a load of fun with hard work attached to it.
I prefer more energetic kind of music, unless I'm about to go to sleep.
"The River Flows in You" is a pretty piece though, it doesn't give a upbeat feel.

Ohh hmm. I like My Promise to You the most, though I like My Song to You as well.

Clough · Mar 18, 2009, 12:03 AM

Then let's use "My Promise to You". I need some sort of title so that I can start the program where I'll write the music.

I listen to "The River Flows in You" over and over. I also like upbeat kinds of music. Do you have any links to where there are sound files of the kinds of music that you like?

What kind of music does your friend like, and what sort of music does he play on the violin, please?