[cnysnsaef]

My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago now. We talk everyday whether it is online or through text. We do not talk on the phone but even while dating we didn't. He is just not a phone person. Well when we broke up it was all his choice. He said that there were things about me that he could not get over. Little things about my personality. He also told me how his parents thought we were engaged and how other people told him that I said we were getting married. (which is totally untrue) but if I don't contact him some time in the morning he will contact me by early afternoon if not sooner. When he is with his family and friends he still contacts me or whenever he is having a problem at work or anything he comes to me with it. But I still love him. And I want to know if I might have a slight chance regardless of what he has said in the past. If he didn't care for me or love me would he contact me? Or did he just break up with me because he was scared. Mind you he told me that he loved me Monday morning before he went off to work. Then by Monday night he freaked out and needed space. Then just after that we broke up. Anyone have any ideas?

Lost and in Love

[innocent_101]

Talk to him, see if you can work it out, he might have been scared cause he might of tought he was being pressuerd into the situation and wanted to take it slowly. If he doesn't want to be with you but still contacts you, he's only doing that cause you're the closest friend he has and feels comfortable talking to you about privite things. To me he sounds confused and may need a little time to think things over cause he might have been or felt over whelmed by what other people were saying of thinking. If there's any chance of getting back together with him, you just need to take it slow, and don't be afraid to ask him is there any chance of us getting back to together and if so what is it that needs to be change ? Relationships are all about compermiseing, like you want to do something but he wants something else, and you both decide to meet half way, understand ?

[lifeisarock]

Yea I agree with her just let him do the decisions and give him some space he seems to be very confused

[cnysnsaef]

How soon is too soon to talk to him? And what exactly do I ask? I am so bad at relationships. And I really love him so I don't want to screw it up any worse.

[lifeisarock]

Umm I would say give him a week just to thing it through. What I do is I just don't talk to any girls for a while and talk to my friends about it. That's what I would do. Go to someone with more experience and someone you trust

[cnysnsaef]

Well as of today it has been a month.

[xavier21]

Wow, you sound exactly me and my girlfriend. Its hard to explain but I'll try. I had a couple of problems.

First was commitment.
-I don't mean like only being with her, and wanting to date other women. That wasn't the problem. I am completley loyal to her. It was more of the becoming intimate, sharing my life with her. I find this really hard. I've never been close to anyone, including family, and all of a sudden this woman comes along and she loves me and would do anything for me and I just freak out. I didn't know what to do. It's been a year now, and I still find it hard, but I love her and I am slowly getting over this fear. You just need to give him space when he says he needs it.

Second, she cheated on me.
-To make my first fear worse, she cheated on me one night when she was out drinking with friends. This screwed me up even more then I already was. I am assuming this isn't the case for you but thought I should mention it since it played a huge part for my relationship. It did this because we did break up, but I realized I still cared very deeply for her, and she showed she still cared for me and eventaully we got back together. In a weird way it brought us closer.

So you, I would just play it day by day.l Be there for him, but don't waste your time if he is not 100 percent with you. Talk to him about this and see where he is at with this. He will fight you with this, I know I did, it took her months to get me to sit down and talk to her, but it was well worth it.


Goodluck hope I made some sense

[TheJester]

Looks like he's just confused,He still loves you but needs time to think things through,if your worried about the things he can't get over with your personality maybe change them?people shouldn't change for others,but if you truly love him improving ones self is always a possitive thing to do.You should talk to him about this but don't be pushy,just live your life.Keep moving forward and have a possitive outlook on life,never stop moving but keep him in your heart and memories.The reason I say change them is because if these issue he has are big it's more than likely another guy you meet might have the same issues but I don't know just a thought,I hope things work out for you!