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    Andrew916's Avatar
    Andrew916 Posts: 182, Reputation: 33
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jul 22, 2008, 10:25 AM
    separation due to circumstances and getting back together.
    recently my girlfriend and I separated. I don't believe it was due to any changes in feelings toward eachother- it was more or less due to changing circumstances (at least that's what she said). Because we both work it can be very hard to find time together. I work from 6-3:30 while she works from 4:30-9:30 -- I have to say that has to be the worst job schedule conflict I've ever heard of :( she's heading off for college in a few months so we wouldn't be able to see each other very much then- however, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm 17 and just got my license so I can drive on my own now which would mean that that 2 hour trip I could make on weekends to go see her. I believe that she still has feelings for me but has been suffering a bit due to the periods of separation ( I know I have). I'm quitting my job in about a week (it's a summer job) and since that work conflict would be relieved, we could see each other a lot more. She's the perfect girl- my dream combination- she's funny, has great taste in music, incredibly artistic, loving, compassionate, exotic, and we can talk for hours about the most random things (a diamond in the rough where I'm from)- I don't want to lose her permanently over something that'll change very soon. I love her and miss her more than anything in the world and would do anything to get her back. I know a lot of you will say that I'm young so what I'm feeling isn't really love but lust. I knowthe difference and if she was somehow marred or hurt in some incident, I wouldn't love her anyless. True love isn't very common among teenagers but it does exist. In the end my question is, how can I try to convince her that these circumstances will change shortly and things will be just like they were before we got jobs and never saw each other? If she can be convinced of this I'm almost positive that we could repair what was damaged by this whole ordeal and move past it. If you think that is not possible, can you please help me get past this? I feel like the world took the biggest thing it could find and beat the hell out of me... it's the worst feeling ever. Everywhere I look I see her. It just feels like we quite before the race was over. The last I saw her was on y birthday. I was preparing quite a few special things for her the next time I saw her. I had written three songs, painted a portrait and I wanted to take her to a hill near my house where I usually go to think and watch the sunset... all of which I will never be able to do now. It's really the memories that kill me- the ones that were great and amazing while we were together- are now too hard to think about. Knowing that I'll never have those special moments with her again. Had I known this would happen so soon I would've done things differently that night...
    Andrew916's Avatar
    Andrew916 Posts: 182, Reputation: 33
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Jul 22, 2008, 01:51 PM
    You know what? I'm fine. Sure things didn't end the way I thought and wanted them to. Sure I didn't get to give her many of the things I wanted or take her to the special places I wanted to. And I may feel like absolute Sh*t right now, but it'll get better. The memories will hurt for a long time, but slowly I'll pull myself away. We still want to be close friends and I hope it works out like that and who knows... maybe someday down the road- if it's meant to be. It'll sure take e while to find someone new amongst the abundance of trashy and, quite frankly, disgusting, girls at my school. I had a good run with her and I'll still miss her. It's sort of like the birth and death of the say. With every sunset comes the cold and dark of night. But with every night there is sure to be an amazing, warm, sunrise even more beautiful than the sunset that preceded it. Life can be unfair but you have to roll with the blows. Take in the lessons you learn and move forward into the day armed with your new-found knowledge. Life will conquer those who don't learn from their mistakes and experiences. Don't let these lessons gather dust in some dark corner of your mind- apply them and go forth knowing that you WILL find that someone, and that you WILL be loved.
    plonak's Avatar
    plonak Posts: 742, Reputation: 117
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    #3

    Jul 22, 2008, 03:25 PM
    Hey hon let me give you some advice.. there is probably a 99% chance that you will not find your future wife at your school.. so when you say all the girls at your school are worthless that is NOT the woman pool that you HAVE to be searching in.. You will find the right person when God is ready for you to.. you could meet her at the icecream shop, at the pool or movies and no she doesn't have to go to your school, the whole woman population is not in your school..

    Keep your head up, focus on doing the things that you love to do.. and when the time is right you will meet that special someone, and she'll be better than you ever imgained
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #4

    Jul 22, 2008, 03:26 PM
    WOW, what did you do in the three hours between your posts? I really would like to know, dear - it's not meant as a joke here.

    I usually sugget that you read the first four stickies in the Relationship Section so that you see that you are not alone in your frustration, pain, and that we cannot wipe out those memories. They stay with us for a reason.

    Maybe just signing on here and talking to us helps you - and I do hope that you stay on and continue in your healing process.

    We will be here to listen and support you in any way we can - so don't be a stranger.

    You are right in one thing, age does not always have to be the main factor. It's the inner maturity that counts and how we each deal with life by the guidance and role-models we've had in the past.

    So, stay with us and keep us posted on your thoughts and your progress.


    We cannot control all 'circumstances' in our lives, but we can control how we cope with them.
    Andrew916's Avatar
    Andrew916 Posts: 182, Reputation: 33
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Jul 22, 2008, 04:41 PM
    I usually do this, oddly enough. I always try and step back and observe my situation objectively. At first ithink we get caught up in the flood of emotions but once we step back and see the big picture it's not so bad. I will definitely be sticking around. I like how this site is a huge general forum that covers many subjects rather than just a spefic field like most are. While I'm here I'll also try and help others as best I can :)
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #6

    Jul 22, 2008, 04:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Andrew916
    I usually do this, oddly enough. I always try and step back and observe my situation objectively. At first ithink we get caught up in the flood of emotions but once we step back and see the big picture it's not so bad. I will definately be sticking around. I like how this site is a huge general forum that covers many subjects rather than just a spefic field like most are. While I'm here I'll also try and help others as best I can :)
    Cool. Glad you like it here... it is one of the best sites there is. And, being able to sit back and look at the whole picture.. I'm sure you will benefit others here as well.

    Enjoy.
    GoldenGate's Avatar
    GoldenGate Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Jul 22, 2008, 08:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by plonak
    hey hon let me give you some advice.. there is probably a 99% chance that you will not find your future wife at your school..
    The advice still holds true, but at my school, something like 50% of people end up marrying somebody else who went there.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Jul 23, 2008, 05:25 AM
    You need to treat this as if you are not one of those 50% because right now you are single! You have the whole world at your fingertips, why not reach a little further and take it in your hands and live your life the way you want to.
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #9

    Jul 23, 2008, 05:57 AM
    How far away is the next town or city? This sounds so backwoods that you need to do something to change the pattern. Get on the bus on weekends, or drive off with other friends to meet new people. That way you can meet someone and not have them in your face every day distracting you from education - and can look forward to seeing them and sharing quality time.

    There is too much out there to just live in a 'box', and someone new might just show up at the old school, so broaden your imagination and don't settle for second-best, not in any aspect of your life.


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