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    xxbabyblueeyes's Avatar
    xxbabyblueeyes Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 10, 2007, 08:49 AM
    Lost love
    My boyfriend and I broke up a few days ago and I am devastated. We were the perfect couple. Completley crazy about each other. We had our minor tiffs but never anything to be worried about. We are both going to different colleges in the end of August, resulting in a 3 hr difference. My now ex, said he would not be able to do it because he is not capable of dealing with the distance and being upset when he is starting his new chapter in his life. Which I understand. We decided to break up now, so the pain isn't as bad later on and we can't live a basic lie for the remainder of time. We had a pretty strong relationship. Our families loved each other and for the first time in my life I felt really liked for me. He did things like give me flowers dance to our favorite love song under the sunset. He bought me a diamond necklace for my graduation like 2 weeks ago. And now we broke up. I have not been myself since we broke up can't sleep can't eat, and I miss him so much. We haven't really spoken. We spoke once because I needed to ask him something and he said he did miss me and part of him wants to work it out but the other part says he knows he cant. He is at work today (15 min away) and I really need to see his face. I need a special idea or anything. Help me please. -desperate.
    emopunk7's Avatar
    emopunk7 Posts: 1,052, Reputation: 161
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:40 AM
    Aww... this is sad... I like this story... I need to hear more nice stories that end like this. Hey it's better than all the other stupid relationships that end so miserable. At least you both understand and let go in good understanding terms. Either way it's hard. But at least it's a beautiful story to tell your grandchildren someday. Aww... I wish that happened to me! You will be okay. Do you think it will be okay to see him? Will he get upset? Remember to leave things in good terms...
    xxbabyblueeyes's Avatar
    xxbabyblueeyes Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jul 10, 2007, 06:54 PM
    Aw why thank you. However I wish I could agree... see the honest truth behind it is.. he's being the typical 18 yr old guy.. he wants the full college experience he wants to drink, party, smoke, every day and night oh and did I forget hook up with girls? I'm the type of girl like the girl next door, the girl you can bring home to mom and settle down with. NO one is looking for that now. Ill have my day. But until then I'm just going to miss him with everything I have. Maybe we will be together again in the future. I just wish there was a way I can really make him miss me. We haven't spoken. If there are any ideas feel free. Thank you.
    huno's Avatar
    huno Posts: 336, Reputation: 75
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    #4

    Jul 10, 2007, 09:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by xxbabyblueeyes
    he bought me a diamond necklace for my graduation like 2 weeks ago.
    Holy sh!t, a diamond necklace? Sh!t, forget him, sweetie, 'cause I'm going drag and making your ex my BF... I could use a new car...

    Quote Originally Posted by xxbabyblueeyes
    he's bein the typical 18 yr old guy..he wants the full college experience he wants to drink, party, smoke, every day and night oh and did i forget hook up with girls?
    Ooh, this is a tough situation for you. I just left college and I've seen this story way too many times...

    Quote Originally Posted by xxbabyblueeyes
    i just wish there was a way i can really make him miss me. we havent spoken. if their are any ideas feel free. thankyou.
    Well, at this point, since he really wants to lead the wild college lifestyle, I just don't think it's possible to logically talk him out of it.

    What I find works best in this scenario is to show him that you are moving on without him. He'll start to wonder why you're so okay with the breakup and come out and find you. Better yet--date another guy. Show your ex that there is finality to the situation. He'll become really jealous and he'll come and find you again.

    But it doesn't matter anyway... I'm getting that new car no matter what it takes.



    --huno

    P.S.: no matter WHAT it takes.
    JonLR92's Avatar
    JonLR92 Posts: 81, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:59 PM
    Would you turn gay for a car? Maybe... NOT! But I think jealousy is the only way to make him miss you.
    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
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    #6

    Jul 11, 2007, 03:23 AM
    I have known and seen successful relationships work with a large mileage gap and university. However it takes two people to want to work at a relationship to make it fire. Without the two its not going to work. As you said he wants to do the whole party thing. Does not mean he did not care for you in a big way but he is about to start a new chapter in his life and doesn't want to be committed or he may feel he will loose out if he doesn't do this.

    It hurts big time but hey it doesn't kill us. It makes us stronger. In time things will get easier and at least you ended amicably. In the future you may meet again or become friends but for the time being your life comes first as it always did. Hey I didn't speak to one of my friends from work for three whole years and then we became best mates after seeing him randomly on a date with my ex.

    If he decides to contact you, he can't because you have blocked him! He wanted out, so give it to him. It's over and you've accepted it and he should do the same. Your fine alone or with him, either way you don't mind. In the tug of war one pulls one way and you pull the other way. However at one point someone gives up and you fall down. The winner walks away triumph and you... Your on the floor as a failure. Don't be that person!

    Remember, your first love and last love is YOU! Treasure your memories but make the mental effort to accept it and move on. Keep in no contact as ignorance really is bliss and what you don't know, can't hurt.

    p.s. You look gorgeous
    SuperFudd's Avatar
    SuperFudd Posts: 16, Reputation: 4
    New Member
     
    #7

    Jul 11, 2007, 06:23 AM
    So now that you're single and needing a rebound guy to get over him... can I volunteer or do you accept applications? Heh, I'm just kidding *whispers* (not really so call me) Anyway, please... I'm begging you... don't get into the "I'm gonna make him jealous" game. It's not fair to both of you, nor to the guy you get to play the role (unless he's a total dirtbag in which case... you don't want to get involved with him). The guy who plays the "be seen with you" guy can just as easily fall for you and you're completely stuck on your ex. It's not fair to you. Because you're really not moving on, just pretending and it puts unnecessary stress on an already stressful situation. Trying to keep up the act and all that kind of stuff. It's not fair to him either. I know I may get fileted (sp?) for saying that, but just think... you really LOVE this guy. If this is what makes him happy right now, then he'll suffer the consequences of losing you. He'll realize it later on how great a girl you were and if you're truly out for revenge... that will hurt him worse than anything, knowing that he screwed it up. If you're going to date, do it for the right reasons... not to make him jealous or miss you. Do it so that you can move on healthily.
    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Jul 11, 2007, 08:09 AM
    Ey emo? Where you get that from? I am actually good friends with someone who dated my ex before me though and have been longer before we knew her and we are still mates.

    One of my ex's sisters has been in a long term relationship whilst at University with someone over 100 miles away from her.

    I think you were mistaken about my friend. I used to work with my current best friend when we were both allot younger. He left the company to go see his dad in Costa Rica (which is where he grew up - he's English though) and we lost contact. However three years later I see him in a restaurant where I am with my ex for a meal. We spoke on MSN and met up and now we are best mates. Comprendez? :)
    aanthonyy's Avatar
    aanthonyy Posts: 45, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Jul 11, 2007, 08:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by xxbabyblueeyes
    my boyfriend and i broke up a few days ago and i am devestated. we were the perfect couple. completley crazy about eachother. we had our minor tiffs but never anything to be worried about. We are both going to different colleges in the end of august, resulting in a 3 hr difference. My now ex, said he would not be able to do it because he is not capable of dealing with the distance and being upset when he is starting his new chapter in his life. which i understand. we decided to break up now, so the pain isnt as bad later on and we can't live a basic lie for the remainder of time. we had a pretty strong relationship. our families loved eachother and for the first time in my life i felt really liked for me. He did things like give me flowers dance to our favorite love song under the sunset. he bought me a diamond necklace for my graduation like 2 weeks ago. and now we broke up. I have not been myself since we broke up can't sleep can't eat, and i miss him so much. we havent rly spoken. we spoke once because i needed to ask him something and he said he did miss me and part of him wants to work it out but the other part says he knows he cant. He is at work today (15 min away) and i really need to see his face. i need a special idea or anything. help me please. -desperate.
    DO nothing. That is honestly the best thing to do. NOTHING.
    It is only then that he will feel his life without you - thus know whether he wants you in.
    Pleading, calling, texting, etc etc is man poison. It tells him you are still there for him which gives him comfort. Remove the comfort. Tell him you respect his decision and hope you can be friends someday would be you best response in getting him back.
    You cannot change how somebody else feels. Get your friends and family around you. Best of luck

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