[shygrneyzs]

My youngest son has profound disabilites - both mental and physical and it has been suggested, by his IEP team, that he acquire a pet - in hopes that the pet would help calm him. I don't have anything against having a pet, but I know having a cat is not the answer - he hates cats with a passion. He is scared of dogs, even though when I was married, my husband and I always had a dog in the house. Brandon hated the long hair mini daschunds - he kept trying to choke them. We ended up finding a better home for them. He did not react well to a springer spaniel we had - apparently too much energy for him to absorb. The only dog he really tolerated was our Rosie - a Rottweiler. She attached to him and was his guardian and he never picked on her or tried to hit her. He would sit on the couch and she would come over to him and plop right in front of him and he would rest his feet on her back.

I live in an apartment complex where people can have dogs and several tenants have dogs and Brandon freaks out when he sees those animals. He screams and almost jumps out of his wheelchair. I would like to try getting a good dog that would be patient and that could help Brandon re-learn that being around a dog can be a good thing. But I am afraid of a small dog - my son can be harmful to such a small animal, and I do not want a big dog, we live in a 2 bedroom apt.

Do you think this could be even feasible? What are some suggestions? Thank you for your thoughts on this.

[RubyPitbull]

Shy, frankly, this is a toughie. You don't want to get a puppy if your son has problems with small dogs. There isn't any guarantee that one breed might be better for your situation than another. Especially if you are looking for a mid-sized dog that would fit into an apartment situation. You could try visiting a shelter or rescue near you and see if your son connects with any of the dogs there but I don't know if it is such a good idea to take an unknown quantity, especially if he is a bit fearful of dogs to start with, and then find out later it isn't working out.

So, I think since your son has disabilities, it might be beneficial to look into a service dog, or at least start by contacting people who train service dogs. You might qualify for one. If you don't, maybe they have a lead on a "dropout" who might just fit in with your situation. In any event, I think it is a good place to start and they might have some suggestions or ideas. I found this guy in your neck of the woods:

Great Plains Assistance Dogs
Contact: Mike Goehoing
P.O. Box 514
Jud, ND 58454
Tele: (701) 685-2242


I think this is his group:
Service Dogs for America Great Plains Assistance Dogs Foundation


Let me know what you think. :)

[shygrneyzs]

Thanks Ruby! Yes, Jud is south of where my ex lives. Maybe I could ask him to help me out on this. I already asked him if he still had Rosie and he gave Rosie to a farmer. She now guards sheep. She was a gem of a dog.

I will check out the link though, I appreciate you looking for that. I had forgotten about them. Hugssss.

[labman]

Perhaps some of the middle sized breeds would be best. Big enough to shrug off a little rough treatment, but won't knock the lamps off every time it wags it tail. I am thinking a Cocker Spaniel, Australian Shepherd, Husky, or if you want a shorter haired dog a Pit Bull. If allergies are at all a factor, Poodles and Schnauzers come in a range of sizes. I wouldn't start with a puppy. You can't even be sure of their size, let alone temperament. Many dogs never read their breed descriptions and fail to follow them. One of the best sources for dogs with a predictable personality is the rescue dogs. These are dogs that lost their home, but were taken into a foster home to be retrained as necessary and placed in the right home for them. You may find a rescue near you starting at American Kennel Club - Breed Rescue dog dogs puppy puppies The rescues charge a fee to help cover their expenses, but is much less than the price of a puppy plus all its medical expenses the first year.

Some people say a dog and child should never be left along together. You will need to keep a close eye on the 2. Check Establishing and Keeping Alpha Position and their page on dogs and children.

[shygrneyzs]

I agree, Labman, and thank you - a puppy would not work at all. I will check out the Breed Rescue site. You are right about not leaving the two alone. Even though Brandon got along well with Rosie, we never allowed the two to be alone in a room. Just being cautious, that ounce of prevention thing. I am more than willing to give this a good effort.

[colebabe27]

Hello there! I'm so glad I am able to respond. I am going to be part of a company called Four Paws for Ability. They specialize in training dogs for kids and adults with disabilities. This company uses many different breeds and a lot of them come from a shelter. The company's motto is basically no one is "too disabled" or "not disabled enough" to have a dog. I highly recommend looking over there website and reading all of the success stories. They are a non-profit organization that will help you fundraise to acquire a dog. This is just some basic info on the company, again go to the website for more details. I work as a special needs preschool teacher and I could see why your IEP team recommended a pet for your son. Their website is 4 Paws for Ability :) Hope this helps!

[RubyPitbull]

Colebabe, what a great program! I am going to bookmark the site. Do you think they will be willing to work with someone in North Dakota, where Shy is?

[colebabe27]

They are willing to work with people anywhere in the United States. They usually ask that you come for a training session with the dog (unfortunately, we live in Ohio) for a two week stay. I really feel that this is important. The other cool thing is that they train a dog specific to your son's disabilities. I have a student that both him and his brother have seizures. 4Paws offers seizure response dogs. For the most part, I think you would choose the dog and then they are trained to the disabilities, unlike pilot dogs, that they train a number of dogs and then you choose from one's that are already trained. I also don't know if this helps, but they will also train a dog that currently lives in the home (i.e. if you found a dog that your son really connects with). Karen, the founder is great and usually responds to any questions right away. My part in the company, is that I am going to house one of their dogs that they breed, in order for the puppies to eventually become service dogs. One suggestion on a breed would be a Golden Retriever. I know they are on the big side, but their laidback personality tends to be more theraputic and that's why they are typically used for service dogs. I will be housing a Golden :)

[shygrneyzs]

Well, Ohio is a few states away but worth the trip if it would work out. I am open to the idea. I really want to hugely thank Ruby, Labman, colebabe, and Didi for your ideas. It really helps. Oh, I did talk to my ex this evening about the Great Plains Dogs and he agreed to visit them. The dogs are expensive-about 15 thousand-but there are scholarships available that can reduce the cost to a $100 down payment and $10 a month. I can live with that.

[colebabe27]

4 Paws dogs are any where from $6000-$12000. The best part is that they help you fundraise the money so you don't have to pay anything. :) There is a whole section on how the program works. Once you fundraise a certain amount toward the dog, they start to train it, and it's ready for you by the end of the training. If you are willing to travel to get a dog, the program does have dogs up for adoption that have been through their prison program.

[shygrneyzs]

Thank you, colebabe. Fundraising is not so scary and I can see why the organization would ask for that - the family should not just expect a trained dog handed to them but be willing to work a bit for that. Helps define true ownership.

[labman]

Different schools handle funding differently. Many of the dog guide schools do just hand the dog over, although people with dogs are appreciated when they show up to help fundraisers. A long time ago, the one school charged a token $150 for the dog. Most of the service dog schools are not as old or as well funded. By allowing people to direct funds to a particular person, it is easier to find those willing to give. I know of one case where a man's employer just wrote a check.

There is nattering about ''buying a dog''. I compare it to raising money for mission work. You can give money to a denominational mission board that will determine where to spend it, or you can give through a non denominational mission group designating the money to a particular individual.

[shygrneyzs]

An update... this evening my ex called, saying that the farmer who has Rosie the Rottie, called him saying Rosie does not appear to be happy there. That "she is sad most the time" and wanted to know if Rosie can come back. Well, the ex bought a new dog - a pit bull and said that he could not take Rosie in. then the lightbulb went off in his head and he said that I might be interested for our son.

The farmer called me and asked if I was interested. I said yes, given that Rosie has kept her demeanor and her and Brandon would get along again. The last time Brandon saw Rosie was two months ago and everything was fine. I really doubt that them together would be a negative experience. The guy suggested I bring Brandon up to his place this weekend and spend the time there. Which would be a good idea, if Brandon was the kind of child who took changes well. I asked the guy if he could bring Rosie to my ex's place this coming weekend and we will meet him there. Brandon knows the house and all in it, so nothing new there to upset him. The guy agreed.

So while this is not anything written in stone, there is a chance for something to come about. It is not utopia, I know the risks and am willing to get her resettled and used to following my commands again. I was always stricter with the dogs than my ex and he never understood why the animals listented to me, rather than him. Well, what can one say? Not much. Lol.

I still am following through on the Great Plains Guide Dog Assoc. and checking out the Paws 4 Ability. May this all work out. Blessings to all of you who wrote here. Will give you an update when things happen for sure.

[labman]

Sounds great. Keep us posted.

[shygrneyzs]

Thanks, Labman. I am trying to keep my focus about this. Part of me wants to drive up there and bring her here and call it home. She was such a special dog. But she will not have the space here she is used to. I guess that is what dog walking is for. Lol.

[RubyPitbull]

Shy, I have to tell you, personally, I think this will be the easiest, most quick and best solution if it all works out. I hope and pray for you that it does. If it has only been two months, I doubt very much anything will change between Rosie and Brandon. Also, even though she had it easy with your ex, believe me, that dog will be so happy to have your attention and leadership again. The biggest issue, I believe, will be the space. But, dogs adjust if they have the proper care and attention. So, it just means you will be getting a bit more exercise than usual. LOL. :)

Please let us know what the outcome is.

[shygrneyzs]

An update - Rosie is not as well as she should be. Outside of a major flea problem and what looks like mites in her ears, she seems depressed and is not eating well. Took her to the vet this morning for a check-up (of which I am not paying for, her owner is) and will go from there. Will get her from the clinic this afternoon.

She was really glad to see my son and I. Brandon let her sit by his wheelchair and they watched "Barney". Lol. Just like old times. Hard to believe she is already nine years old. Oh, I did find a trainer who lives 100 miles to the west of me who specializes in behavior training and modification. He also trains dogs that go to nursing homes, senior centers, schools, and group homes for visits. I contacted him and he agreed to act as a consult and trainer. Yes, there is a fee, but who out there would do it for free? Can't expect that. He gave me five references, so I am going to contact them next week.

Crossing my fingers for this one.

[colebabe27]

I'm sorry to hear that Rosie isn't as well as she could be. One thing to think about before putting money into training her is her age. If she is 9 do you want to spend the money on the training when she could maybe live only 3-4 years or so, instead of having a dog for almost their entire lifetime. I hope it all works out though. Keep us updated with what the vet says and her attitude.

[RubyPitbull]

Shy, I am rooting for you. If Rosie did well with your son before, you may not need much help. Just some time for her to readjust and some fine tuning to Brandon's current situation. I am sorry she is not doing well. Once you get those health problems corrected and she is with you for a little while, her mood will pick up. You have to keep in mind that dogs are creatures of habit. When situations change, they get confused. It is obvious that the farm was not the place for her. I do believe, given time, this will be the best thing for her and for Brandon. I am glad that you care about her and can give her the attention she needs.

[shygrneyzs]

Thanks colebabe and Ruby. Sending Barney hugs to you both.