[bpd1972]

My boyfriend is going through a very difficult divorce. Currently he works very long hours and we only have one car between the two of us. He has 2 year old twins and he pays $300 per week in child support. He is only off on Tuesdays and Saturdays, but I need the car for work on Tuesdays. Which leaves one day per week to see his kids. We live approximately 1 hour away from his ex wife. She is not willing to drive in either direction for him to see them on any day. She also expects that her child support be sent by overnight mail (costing up to $20 per week). He was unable to have children and they chose to go the donor route. He is now considering giving up his parental rights as it is very difficult in dealing with her and her demands. His lawyer bill is now at the $4000 dollar point and along with the $300 per week its becoming difficult to survive and she won't settle. What are his options as he is not a biological parent to the children? Should he give up his visitation rights? Does he have to continue to pay the same amount of child support? If he continues to pay, but chooses not to see them for awhile until his financial situation is better, can he see them later? Please HELP!! :confused:

[twinkiedooter]

Child support and visitation are two separate matters. If he gives up his parental rights that means he gives up his right to visit them or have any say in their upbringing or stop any adoptions by new step fathers. Just giving up his parental rights does not stop child support obligatons.

If he and you are strapped financially with the $300 a week child support I would suggest that he goes back and has his support obligation amount decreased. He must show some change in his circumstances since the original child support order was entered. For instance, he makes less money at his job, changed jobs and now makes less. He must show some financial hardship to the court for them to change it. Also, take into consideration if the ex-wife now makes more money at her job. He may have to demand disclosure of her income on this.

Just a suggestion if she is that greedy that she insists the money be overnighted. stop that practice and send it certified mail return receipt requested instead. You must go to the post office though and fill out their paperwork but it's only about 5 minutes worth and you get a green post card back once she's signed for the envelope. Costs much less - under $5.00 and you have a receipt of when you sent it and her signature and date when she gets it. There is nothing stating that he must overnight anything. He does not have to be dictated by her greed as he is paying this money to her.

$300 a week for 2 children is a bit much. He must get out his original paperwork from his divorce and carefully look over just how the court determined this amount. There is a financial worksheet that both parties had to fill out before they came up with this amount - unless - he decided upon the amount with her privately without the court figuring it out for them. His income then and his income now are the real determining factors, plus her income then and now as well. The child support amount is done by a complicated formula basically.

Being a donor situation has nothing to do with the situation either as if his name is on the birth certificates he is considered the father and has taken that responsibility.

He needs to talk to his attorney about getting the support amount reduced if he can prove the financial hardship due to making less money. From the amount of the attorney's bill I take it she fought him tooth and nail the entire way.