[alanalov]

How can a help boost this guy's ego?
I unwillingly bruised his ego at some point and I want to try to undo that
HOW?
He's somebody I care about.
--thanks

[shygrneyzs]

What did you do that bruised his ego? Why not apologize for your words or actions? Trying to find ways to compensate for what you did may sound like a great idea, but may also be seen as a way of overdoing yourself and actually drawing further attention to what you did to him.

Be honest, be real, apologize, do something nice for the guy. Don't give him phony praise or stuff like that. Does more harm than good.

[alanalov]

Any other idea? Anyone?

[Clough]

I think that you just received some good advice above. To answer further would be difficult without knowing "how" you think that you bruised his ego. Would you mind explaining what you said or did that makes you think that you bruised his ego?

You used the word "unwillingly." Are you meaning that you did so "accidentally" or, "by accident?"

[shygrneyzs]

So now have two of us asking what exactly happened to this guy? I agree with Clough, also I want to ask, since you used the word, "unwillingly", were you told to do something to this guy, were you coerced into something, were you just going along with someone's idea?

[alanalov]

Yes, I know I should apologize and I will try to but I'm not sure it's going to be enough. In short, what happened is that this guy was crazy about me but was way too shy to really show it and say it if you see what I mean. I've been evil cause I knew that and although I had a slight interest in him I got mad because he was too shy and I decided to back off and say 'whatever'.. so basically I didn't care about his feelings
I know that was evil but I only realized it later on and now its too late. I know he's been hurt .this is basically it but I never wanted to hurt him

[shygrneyzs]

Then you did something with full knowledge that this was going to hurt his feelings. Be that as it may, you do owe him a full and sincere apology. It is up to him to forgive you. As for what else you can do for him, or to do to him, drop it all. It is all going to seem like a pity gesture and no one wants pity.

Hopefully no one will ever do the same to you, but karma does come around.

[huno]

You should just explain exactly that to him: that he was shy, you didn't like his shyness and you were frustrated because he didn't make a move on you. You should tell him this, not only to help his ego, but also to teach him not to be shy around women. It's really for his own good.

Is this a guy you'd like to go out with? If not, be careful that you don't give him false hopes; tell him that you're not interested in dating him after you talk to him.

And if you do want to date, then just take the initiative and ask him out. That's sure to help his ego.

[Clough]

Thank you alanalov for clarifying things.

People do eventually usually get over having their feelings hurt. I would apologize for the way that you acted, tell him why you acted the way that you did, and also tell him that you care about his feelings and leave it at that. Then listen to what he has to say. Either he accepts your apology or he doesn't. That is his choice. If you know that he likes you, then he almost certainly will accept your apology.

It is very important to have open, calm, caring dialogues with people concerning feelings. Listening and giving mature answers to another persons dialogue with you is very important.

Sounds like a time to "turn a scar into a star!" You can do it! Always make the objective of your discourse with people with people one that will lead to an ending that is satisfactory with both parties.

[alanalov]

Hey, thank you all for help
But I want to make it clear that I had NO intention to do that to him. But things turned out that way and when I realized what I did it was already too late.I wasn't fully aware that I was hurting his feelings at that time I sincerely feel sorry for everything I did wrong and I'm afraid he won't accept my apology