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    KayaA's Avatar
    KayaA Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:05 PM
    Boyfriend seems disinterested.
    Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year now, for a long time it was long distance but I've been living with him for the past 2 months. Our relationship is great, even sexually it's great. We have sex all the time and there's no real big complaints. The only issue I've have is that he seems so disinterested when I give him head or am riding on top. It seems like he's thinking waaay too much and just not getting into it and sometimes he'll even start going soft. However when I give him head when we 69 he's all about it and into it, and when he's on top or doing it doggystyle he's all into it and get's all kinky etc but none of that when I'm leading the show you know. The reason it's bothering me is because he says I need to initiate sex more. He's right I do usually just wait till he's horny even though I want it, the reason I don't initiate often is it's frustrating when it seems like he's not even interested unless he's running the show and really honestly makes me Self-conscious as hell. It's fantastic sweaty awesome kinky sex when he runs the show, but drab boring when I do, and I can't seem to get him to respond, and I've never had this kind of problem w/ a guy before. Does anyone know what the problem could be or how to fix it? A guys perspective would really help.
    Dana Bandle's Avatar
    Dana Bandle Posts: 18, Reputation: 0
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    #2

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:09 PM
    Lead him on & then let him take the lead.
    prayerlord's Avatar
    prayerlord Posts: 31, Reputation: 0
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    #3

    Jul 10, 2007, 10:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by KayaA
    Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year now, for a long time it was long distance but i've been living with him for the past 2 months. Our relationship is great, even sexually it's great. We have sex all the time and there's no real big complaints. The only issue I've have is that he seems so disinterested when I give him head or am riding on top. It seems like he's thinking waaay to much and just not getting into it and sometimes he'll even start going soft. However when I give him head when we 69 he's all about it and into it, and when he's on top or doing it doggystyle he's all into it and get's all kinky etc but none of that when I'm leading the show you know. The reason it's bothering me is because he says I need to initiate sex more. He's right I do usually just wait till he's horny even though I want it, the reason I don't initiate often is it's frustrating when it seems like he's not even interested unless he's running the show and really honestly makes me Self-conscious as hell. It's fantastic sweaty awesome kinky sex when he runs the show, but drab boring when I do, and I can't seem to get him to respond, and I've never had this kind of problem w/ a guy before. Does anyone know what the problem could be or how to fix it? A guys perspective would really help.
    !! Girl... even though I'm a guy and still a virgin... I wouldn't let anyone me with orders. I mean omg! Stand up to yourself... if he's just getting into your pants... dump him out!! Don't let him take advantage of you!! Be a woman you were born to be!! Be yourself and respect your body!! Because 1 day... u'll wake up with a big stomach and the baby won't have a daddy... make a right choice... have sex when your ready to choose your future.ur right future!! That's all I gatta say.
    Pook_Myster's Avatar
    Pook_Myster Posts: 117, Reputation: 38
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    #4

    Jul 10, 2007, 11:04 PM
    You will probably find that he is trying to concerntrate on something else when you are on top because if he doesn't he will blow his top!
    KayaA's Avatar
    KayaA Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 11, 2007, 10:12 AM
    As far as taking the lead and then letting him run the show I do, but then he'll want me on top etc. Then he'll be seeming uninterested then it ruins it for me, then he'll finally take the lead.. lol It's frustrating. Maybe your right though Pook Myster , he'll always try to hold out as long as he can and I told him before don't worry about it. I guess he's got that macho guy thing going where he has to last as long as possible. I've tried explaining to him that it I get as much fun out of making him feel good as he does doing it to me. I guess I'm weird, most chicks wouldn't be complaining.. lol.
    PixieMama's Avatar
    PixieMama Posts: 68, Reputation: 8
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    #6

    Jul 11, 2007, 03:04 PM
    Have you asked him about this? No one here is going to be able to tell you what is going through his head or why he seems disinterested. You really should talk to him and let him know how it makes you feel. Maybe he's enjoying it more then you think and you are being a bit self conscious? Or maybe he's expecting you to be more kinky. He's the only one who can tell you how much he is or isn't enjoying it and why or why not. My advice? Ask him. Don't be shy about it. I know sometimes it's hard to approach the subject of sex, but I believe in a healthy relationship communication is key and you should be able to talk about everything. Talking about sex outside of the bedroom can't hurt. Or... start it out by asking him what he likes you to do when you are on top and what turns him on.

    Good luck.
    Shaunta's Avatar
    Shaunta Posts: 204, Reputation: 8
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    #7

    Jul 11, 2007, 04:17 PM
    Well... Ok I Had This Issue Before... Kind of... My Boyfriend And I Have Been Together For 2 And A Half Years And In The Beginning I Never Initiated The Sex He Always Did And Then He Just Stopped And He Would Make Me.. The Only Reason He Would Make Me Is To Get It Started After I Got It Started He Woiuldnt Let Me Get On Top... He Would Always Do All The Work
    Shaunta's Avatar
    Shaunta Posts: 204, Reputation: 8
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    #8

    Jul 11, 2007, 04:19 PM
    He Likes Doing All The Work
    Dennis777's Avatar
    Dennis777 Posts: 478, Reputation: 124
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    #9

    Jul 11, 2007, 04:23 PM
    Hello.

    Some Men including myself think more about making his Lady happy then himself. He needs to learn it's a two way street and making you happy is letting you have your way with him at times. Let him know in a round about way how much you enjoy taking control and how it makes you soooooooooo excited. Watching a movie where a Lady is in control is a good place to bring it up to him. Its doesn't have to be sexual control for it to open the door for you.

    Give him some time and teach him, in the long run you will both be able to make each other happy for years to .

    Good Luck
    Dennis777


    .
    Patriciardg's Avatar
    Patriciardg Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jul 11, 2007, 07:06 PM
    I agree with the post that says to talk to him about it but be gentle not accusing because the truth I believe is that he is trying to hold back and not blow his jam and at the same time trying to be macho about it. Probably after you discusss it with him he will calm down and then you can ride till you run out of gas.

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