[Wondergirl]

Now that I have your attention -- When I was a teen about a thousand years ago, we depended on our parents or "knowledgeable or experienced" friends for information about sex. Often parents' information was brief and unhelpful; friends' knowledge was too often incorrect. Many of us were virgins when we married because that is just how it was back then. There was a lot of misinformation, so it was often better to err on the side of chastity.

My question is, why in the 21st century are there so many confused teens seeking information, especially with questions about sex? Magazines, books, TV, and the Internet are full of answers to any question one can ask. In fact, there is nothing left to the imagination any more. So why all the confused and lacking-in-knowledge people?

[bushg]

Some people are just to lazy to read or do research. I think some teens want the reassurance of a live person, esp. if they think they are pregnant.

[rockerchick_682]

Actually, I don't know, cause I'm one of those teens that will Google information and find out for myself. I'm guessing kids who post on here want to talk about it on a more personal level.

[rrcheer2007]

I agree with rocker chick!! I am one of those teens!!

But on the other side I grew up where it was not talked about at all! I mean I am only 18 and I lost my verginity this year! I think that it is ridiculous with the girls who do it at 14 15 because that is morally wrong!! I think that when people blame it on there parents that it is bull because everyone noes what sex is ! Exspecially in this century!! I think a lot of girls have questions about it once they have that guilt trip on their shoulder! And I think that the reason teens ask about sex so much is because it is not taught properly all we are taught are the negative aspects of it and not the actually experience! 1

[Beckylee]

I agree with rocker chick too lol.. . I have a boyfriend now and I have more Q about sex now then I ever did when I didn't have a boyfriend and if I want info I come on here and ask real people lol and at the mo I need help so come check it out loves lol

[s_cianci]

For much of the same reasons you've mentioned in your post. There may be a lot of "information" out there but much of it is still inaccurate, misinformed and just plain erroneous.

[Synnen]

Actually, I blame the fact that the last 10 years or so have gone towards teaching abstinance and not much else in sex educations courses.

Parents assume kids learn it there, teachers assume that it's not their place, and lord knows the church just doesn't talk about it.

A lot of the problem comes from people in charge of the teens assuming that the teens learned it from somebody at some point.

[Synnen]

Wondergirl... Just because they aren't PRACTICING it doesn't mean that they're not TEACHING it.

Look at the vast majority of sex education programs in public schools across the country. There is an incredible amount of time and energy spent preaching abstinence, and hardly any time in comparison teaching kids how to have safe sex and birth control.

I don't think it's RIGHT that teens have sex--but the reality is that they DO have sex. As adults, it's our responsibility to teach them how to do it safely and responsibly. The whole abstinence program was somewhat of a joke from the start---I was a teen when it was first implemented, and it was a laughing matter at our school. PARENTS should teach morals. SCHOOLS should teach common sense approaches to preventing pregnancy and disease.

[Wondergirl]

So why aren't they teaching what they should? (This will require a book, methinks.)

P.S. Schools and parents used to teach abstinence, and most kids used to be abstinent.

[Synnen]

Yes, but there are fewer consequences now than there used to be.

It USED to be that if you got pregnant, you either went away and went through an adoption where they ripped away your soul when they took your baby and told you to forget about it as if it never happened

OR

You got married and raised your kid, regardless how suited you really were, so you ended up either in a miserable marriage for the rest of your life, or you divorced and were shunned by polite society for that.

As far as parents teaching abstinence now... I think parents PREACH abstinence, but don't TEACH it. TEACHING it would require making their children morally responsible for themselves, and showing them how to confront situations that might tempt them into sex with a way out. Teaching is NOT telling your kids "Don't have sex! With AIDS and diseases, and you could get pregnant, it's just not worth it! I never want to hear about you having sex! LALALA! I can't hear you ask me about birth control, because you don't need it, because you're not HAVING sex!" --which you have to admit that many parents do.

Honestly, the bigger problem is that so many people don't take responsibility for their own actions, setting the example for teens that they don't have to take responsibility for THEIR actions either.

[Wondergirl]

Unfortunately, society and popular culture aren't helping. TV shows, magazine articles, novels, video games all scream SEX SEX SEX, so you just got to do it to keep up with what you think everyone else is doing.

Insterestingly, studies are finding that women especially put emotion into even a one-night stand or casual encounter and then feel worthless afterwards when they end up alone. Studies are saying that women can't do this to themselves, can't get through a casual hookup without suffering emotionally. Maybe there's a good reason for females to say no, to hold out for a guy who will complete them physically, mentally, and emotionally. There are historical and biological evidences for this kind of female behavior too, that this is the best way to continue the species. But how does one re-educate the world?

[Synnen]

One doesn't re-educate the world.

One teaches the women and girls that she loves that there is a time and place for sex, and that self-respect and self-esteem are more important than having a boyfriend or being popular.

[Wondergirl]

Yes, you re-educate the world one female at a time telling her just what you said.

[huno]

I wonder about this. How likely is it that anyone will listen to advice given to them? It's not just a matter of telling them they shouldn't give themselves up so easily... they won't listen because they want it so bad. No amount of logic will change their mind. It isn't until they get hurt that they realize the err of their ways.

[Wondergirl]

I was told no and listened to my parents even though I thought they were wrong. It can be done.

[huno]

I was told no and listened to my parents even though I thought they were wrong. It can be done.

You have to admit it's a rare occurrence when a kid listens to an adult concerning things that are forbidden.

Take drinking, for example. Kids are told by adults that there are laws in place forbidding them to drink before they're 21. And yet most do it anyway. Why? Because they want it more than anything--alcohol is thrown in their face everywhere, too: movies, video games, advertisements--it's everywhere and it's glamorized. The consequences are rarely talked about in pop culture and, despite the seriousness of the issues surrounding underage drinking and how adamant parents are about telling their kids not to drink until they're of age, kids can't put off drinking.

Sex is the same way. It's just something that's glamorized to the point that it has to be done to keep up, even if there are consequences.

It's great that you listened to your parents; but I happen to know far too many girls that demonstrate the contrary.

[Wondergirl]

I bet I could match you girl for girl (and boy for boy) -- teens -- in the 21st century, no less, who have listened to their parents and have behaved themselves regarding no drinking and no sex. And I live in the Chicago area. It's all in how a parent communicates and how the "rules" are made.

[huno]

Really?

I'd love to move out there. Because out here on the west coast it's a whole different story...

[Wondergirl]

I'm sorry to hear that. There are lots of good kids with good values here, raised by parents who knew how to do it right. Of course, there are losers around too. I was afraid to die and leave the world to what I had thought was a bad generation or two (or three), but my spirits have been lifted over the past five years as I've dealt more personally with young people and found out how rock-solid most of them are.

[huno]

Not here. Around here it's all Escalades, weed, Paris Hilton and the degenerate sleaze each of those things bring.

In fact, the common complaint I hear from girls around here is that there is no "dating scene." This is right before they jump in bed with a drunken football player.