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    hollylovesbrandon's Avatar
    hollylovesbrandon Posts: 633, Reputation: 78
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    #1

    Oct 1, 2007, 08:24 PM
    How can I adopt my nephew in foster care
    Hello. My sister is on drugs really bad and she has been for quite some time. The social services people took her baby away from her (thank god.) Hew husband left after he found out the kid wasn't his. I am afraid the kid will get adopted and we will never see him again (the family that is). It
    S a unique situation to where I am the only family member she has. I am the only one that can adopt him from the family. My question is, if I do adopt him, can I get any money help from the government? I mean, can I get money monthly? I am just curious. Thanks.
    bignaked101's Avatar
    bignaked101 Posts: 151, Reputation: 6
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    #2

    Oct 1, 2007, 08:27 PM
    Does she know the REAL father, because as long as you know who the real father is, and you have custody of him, you can battle for child support, but as far as any money handed to you from the government, I have never heard of anything like that... but I will definitely check into it for you while I am at school, but first, what state is this in?
    hollylovesbrandon's Avatar
    hollylovesbrandon Posts: 633, Reputation: 78
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    #3

    Oct 1, 2007, 08:30 PM
    I am in the state of Indiana. They have yet to find the biological father. The baby has already been taken away from her and is in foster care. I have been contacted asking if I would like custody of him. I don't really have the money unless I had government help. My husband works but we have our own things to pay and ic an't stand the fact of maybe never getting to know my own nephew.

    Also, the nephew is in ky, I am in Indiana. Thanks
    bignaked101's Avatar
    bignaked101 Posts: 151, Reputation: 6
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    #4

    Oct 1, 2007, 08:37 PM
    Okay, well here is the thing, I am in FL and Florida doesn't offer any kind of Welfare for that kind of predicament, BUT luckily I am taking a college course Law Studies class, and my teacher would happily find out if that is the case in Indiana for you. I can tell you that if the child is in KY, then the state of KY may also be a help in paying any kind of government Welfare.
    hollylovesbrandon's Avatar
    hollylovesbrandon Posts: 633, Reputation: 78
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    #5

    Oct 1, 2007, 08:39 PM
    If you could find out it would MUCH appreciated. I've looked for information on the internet but they don't talk anything about my specific *spot* I'm in. The ONLY way I could take him was if I got some kind of child support... and I don't want him to get away. My husband and I will be GREAT to him.
    bignaked101's Avatar
    bignaked101 Posts: 151, Reputation: 6
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    #6

    Oct 1, 2007, 08:44 PM
    Well I can tell you that it wouldn't matter what part of Indiana that you are in, as long as there is a STATE law that allows it, but I have no clue what the County Laws may say... Maybe, asking a state attorney may help you also, look in your local phone book, there are plenty of numbers to call.
    hollylovesbrandon's Avatar
    hollylovesbrandon Posts: 633, Reputation: 78
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    #7

    Oct 1, 2007, 08:48 PM
    Thanks. I think I will call my sisters case worker in KY and see if he knows anything. If not, then I will call some lawyers. Thanks.
    bignaked101's Avatar
    bignaked101 Posts: 151, Reputation: 6
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    #8

    Oct 1, 2007, 08:51 PM
    You are very welcome, and I wish you the best of luck, I will ask my teacher tomorrow, and see what he says, and I will get back to you tomorrow!
    bushg's Avatar
    bushg Posts: 3,433, Reputation: 596
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    #9

    Oct 1, 2007, 09:05 PM
    FSSA - DFR I am not sure if thye will answer any questions for you. I know you could claim the child on your taxes, and they have programs such as chip, and if he is special needs because he was preemie or if he has problems because of his mother being addicted to drugs that may be helpful in getting government help. Just lay it on the line to the sisters case worker, maybe they can come up with some answers for you. Hopefully bignaked01 can provide you with some answers.
    We had a foster case in our area that made the news and I know these people got food stamps, medical card and paid for the children they were keeping. They were also running a daycare. I hope that you can work something out, it would be terrible for that child to have to grow up in foster care. Good luck
    bignaked101's Avatar
    bignaked101 Posts: 151, Reputation: 6
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    #10

    Oct 1, 2007, 09:26 PM
    How can a person get more information on adoption and available children?
    Please call 1-888-25-ADOPT or contact your county office of the Indiana Department of Child Services.

    That is the Indiana's adoption hotline, so for now the best option for you would be to call that number and find out as much as you can about Adoption and Welfare and then tomorrow I will tell you what Dr. Blanton says.
    bignaked101's Avatar
    bignaked101 Posts: 151, Reputation: 6
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    #11

    Oct 2, 2007, 09:08 PM
    UPDATE:

    Dr. Blanton has told me that there are laws offering welfare to adopted children under curtain circumstances, them being:

    1. A child with mental disability, or a "special needs" child.

    2. A family member that can not afford to pay for a fostered child.

    And 3. A child that was the victim of abuse, be it mental or physical, and needs psychological help, the government will pay all fundings concerning this.

    So it looks like you fit pretty closely into #2, but this isn't a POSITIVE thing, he said he has practiced law in Minnesota, Indiana, Florida, and Wisconsin. So he MAY be wrong, but I don't think this guy is ever wrong so I am giving it about a 99% chance that he's right lol.
    hollylovesbrandon's Avatar
    hollylovesbrandon Posts: 633, Reputation: 78
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    #12

    Oct 2, 2007, 09:56 PM
    Thanks for all the information guys. I appreciate the help.
    grammadidi's Avatar
    grammadidi Posts: 1,182, Reputation: 468
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    #13

    Oct 2, 2007, 11:12 PM
    Go to GrandsPlace and they will provide you with the most up to date information re: kinship care, legal and financial assistance. Kathy is very knowledgeable. Bear in mind that you may have difficulty adopting because you are the sister and they may fear that the child will end up back with his mother. Also, please be aware of all the downfalls of raising a family member's child - especially a child born to a drug addicted mother. There may be mental and physical handicaps that you are not prepared or capable of dealing with - not to mention emotional problems. I am NOT trying to discourage you... but make sure you go into it with as much knowledge and information as you can.

    Best of luck, sweetie. I hope everything works out for the very best for the little guy.

    Hugs, Didi
    hollylovesbrandon's Avatar
    hollylovesbrandon Posts: 633, Reputation: 78
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    #14

    Oct 3, 2007, 07:58 PM
    Well, I haven't had contact with my sister in over 2 years because of her drug addict ways. I wasn't going to let her ruin my life as well as hers. So I could GUARANTEE she wouldn't get the baby back. And the baby doesn't have any illnesses as far as they know right now. Plus they just found out that my sister has a tumor in her brain and she may die very soon.
    grammadidi's Avatar
    grammadidi Posts: 1,182, Reputation: 468
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    #15

    Oct 3, 2007, 08:53 PM
    First of all, I am so sorry about your sister. It's bad enough you having to live with her addiction, but the baby and the health concerns sure do tug at the heart. Secondly, I understand about not having contact. However, I also know that in some cases they are hesitant to place children of addicts with family members.

    As far as the baby not having any illnesses, again, I am not trying to discourage you, but often children of addicts, or children who have been severely neglected (and/or abused) suffer from disorders that are not always diagnosed until they are older. I have seen many, many cases of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and various attachment disorders not diagnosed until they are older. Often they seem like model children until they begin school or are faced with a traumatic event.

    I raised my granddaughter from the time she was 4. She was not diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder until she was 14. I have another woman in my Grandparent's group that has an adopted daughter with RAD who wasn't diagnosed until she was 17. A lot of times, the circumstances which bring the children into care are blamed for the emotional problems that these kids have instead of looking at physical and mental disorders. In my case, the child with RAD became extremely dangerous partly because of the lack of attachment therapy and partly because when my husband died it threw her into a deep regression.

    I would suggest you consider and read up on some of the more 'typical' disorders that your sister's son could be found to have at a later time:

    Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAE and FAS)
    ADD and ADHD
    Attachment Disorders and specifically Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)
    PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
    Bipolar Disorder
    Autism Spectrum Disorder

    Of course there are more, but these are some of the ones I have seen more commonly in neglected and abused children. I am particularly concerned with the potential for FAE, FAS and Attachment Disorders because the nature of your sister's illness could fit the primary causes of the disorder in your nephew. I just think that you would be well served to read up on them to determine IF the child were to be later diagnosed with one of these disorders, do you really feel that you could deal with it emotionally, physically and financially. Despite the potential dangers, they are very wearing on a parent, the parent's marriage and the family as a whole.

    I wish you luck, and I am sure that if you visit the website that I suggested (and where I started on my journey in similar circumstances) that you will find a lot of support, legal information and general information.

    Hugs, Didi
    bignaked101's Avatar
    bignaked101 Posts: 151, Reputation: 6
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    #16

    Oct 3, 2007, 09:22 PM
    Yes, most mental illness, unless serious, is not even noticed until puberty..
    propst3's Avatar
    propst3 Posts: 8, Reputation: 3
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    #17

    Oct 3, 2007, 10:25 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by hollylovesbrandon
    hello. My sister is on drugs really bad and she has been for quite some time. the social services people took her baby away from her (thank god.) Hew husband left after he found out the kid wasn't his. I am afraid the kid will get adopted and we will never see him again (the family that is). It
    s a very unique situation to where I am the only family member she has. I am the only one that can adopt him from the family. My question is, if I do adopt him, can i get any money help from the government? I mean, can I get money monthly? I am just curious. Thanks.
    Call legal aide in your area some states if you adopt a child out of foster care pay you a monthly stipend for living expenses and they there is HRS depending on your income you can get aide and you could sue the father for support if you know who that is
    propst3's Avatar
    propst3 Posts: 8, Reputation: 3
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    #18

    Oct 3, 2007, 10:26 PM
    Call legal aide in your area some states if you adopt a child out of foster care pay you a monthly stipend for living expenses and they there is HRS depending on your income you can get aide and you could sue the father for support if you know who that is
    mnangn's Avatar
    mnangn Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Oct 5, 2007, 05:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by hollylovesbrandon
    hello. My sister is on drugs really bad and she has been for quite some time. the social services people took her baby away from her (thank god.) Hew husband left after he found out the kid wasn't his. I am afraid the kid will get adopted and we will never see him again (the family that is). It
    s a very unique situation to where I am the only family member she has. I am the only one that can adopt him from the family. My question is, if I do adopt him, can i get any money help from the government? I mean, can I get money monthly? I am just curious. Thanks.
    I don't know but I do know that as a foster parent to your relative you can.
    hollylovesbrandon's Avatar
    hollylovesbrandon Posts: 633, Reputation: 78
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    #20

    Oct 5, 2007, 06:00 PM
    One of my issues it that my husband and I have no children of our own. We are only 21 and 22. I am not out of college yet and neither of us have a career. We are not quite ready for children. We have discussed it and we don't want to have to do it... but we will if it's the only way we can keep him in the family. I feel like a horrible person.

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