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Sorry friend. If you look at her actions I think you have already answered your question. She's not into you, at least not fully. Sounds like she's hoping on her EX and you're the rebound.

My...

There was NO personal attack.

I wish to know who deleted my post and why? Has this forum gone to a dictatorship for 2011?

She asked to take you out for your birthday NOT plan your futures together. Simple as that.

Now you're thinking of back peddling and calling her back, telling her blah, blah, blah... feeling you...

This is a perfect example for others NOT to follow.

This guy made a lot of typical wrong moves begging, pleading, negotiating with his dignity, too available, and now most likely got benched in...

You don't “get someone back”. They come back or they don't. Being that faithful puppy and humping her leg every chance she gives you isn't a way to go about it either.

We get you still love her,...

Your perceptions of your husband, "fat, bald and bankrupt”, probably carry to your demeanor towards him. I'm sure he feels this and questions your sincerity just the same. If he is in fact doing...

Been there myself my friend. It takes time. Nobody said life would be easy, just that it would be worth it.

You need to get in the right frame of mind about your situation.

It's over.

The relationship is done. The fat lady sang, the quaterback is toast, or any other way you want to say it. It's...

Etype32 I agree with your logic.

She's not saying the things YOU want to hear. Probably never will either. Even if she wanted to say, “I miss you”, “I love you”, “Take me back…” it would take...

You may consider just leaving her alone. It's been two years... get on with your life. If she really wanted to have a relationship with you she would have done something by now.

Will I often share the same approach as Tal… but damn, curiosity would get the best of me too in this situation.

First, it's been a couple years so I would have expected you to be a bit more...

I agree, both men and women will tend to lie while in an affiar. Either to their spouse, the 'other' person, or themselves. That is my opinion.

But please, don't try to pass off generalizations...

"...and know that men all lie about leaving their wifes."

Well now that's a broad statement with out fact or bases of validation, a.k.a. BS.

Hey when we get some GOOD advice on losing the belly fat let me know, K. I've got this friend you see... ;-}

Honey he didn't hurt you. You hurt yourself. You allowed yourself to get involved with a man who was not available. While he may have lied to you and I have no doubt his moral compass is totally...

Spreading the rep.

Tal - nicely said.

Here's some good advice. Abstinence.

• Abstinence because you're too young to understand the long term effects of teen pregnancy. Have you even considered what this would do to the parents...

Learn to deal with your jealously.

I'm sure you'll always feel a 'soft' spot for her. As you said you can't see getting back with her... therefore why even give it, this chance encounter, a second thought?

I think you're on a fishing expedition. You're actually hoping the letter will open a dialog and bring about a reconnection. Lets be honest here, if you really wanted to apologize you would have...

You know I was in the same position as you at one time. I wrote a long post about my experience on another forum, out of respect I will not mention it here, however; Google, "Affair? WALK AWAY!" and...

People get back together all the time. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. There is no magic formula like someone mentioned above of 0% this or 100% that. OMG...

As Tal said the best...

Hang in there girl. It's tough, but so are you.

Try to focus on how absolutely screwed up this situation is. I mean come on... do you really want to share your partner with someone else?!
...

Hmmm... In my opinion you sent this because you want to start a dialog with him. You want him to fight for you, maybe a little ego stroking.

nuvin3 I realize your going to do what you must or feel you must do. But sending her a letter is just telling her that you're a weak person and will bend to her will. She will use this against you....

Yeah... can you break that into paragraphs so it can be read?

You follow your gut.

If it's a clean break you go no contact. If it's wanting to get back together I'd suggest taking it slow and try to work through your problems first.

Either way I suggest...

Break ups suck and they're painful. It's a fact of life. My friend, odds are this won't be your last break up either. You sound fairly young and life is a long road to travel with driving the same...

Elwoodb you got to realize she's just testing the waters. She's dangling a bone and wants to see if you'll do tricks for her. In my opinion you handled it perfectly!

Step 1: Never let'em see...

I guess I don't understand why the admins don't delete scribbling like this?

Sounds like there's a bit more to what you posted than you're letting on to. Regardless, both of your reactions seemed rather high-school. Hopefully there's a lesson to be learned here for you...

Seems my message was too late to do any good.

Well I hope you can now let this go and move on.

Well elwoodb my perception thus far has been that you've been hoping exactly for this to happen. You say you don’t want to see her but come on… secretly you’ve been hoping for this all along. The...

I echo the others, don't beat yourself up over this. We all do things, shall we say questionable, when we're in love.

Accept what has happened. Realize it is no longer acceptable, you will not...

Benjamin Franklin wrote, “God helps those who help themselves.” God doesn't change people. People change themselves. If they want to give God credit, so be it.

Quite frankly I seriously doubt...

Show up naked. Bring beer.

Seriously why not just start talking, take things slow, and let nature take it's course naturally.

Yes, this is typical behavior. Just as soon as she can tempt you to cave and you get emotional and pleading again... BAM! She'll hit you with the, "You're suffocating me..." "You don't trust...

Elwood try to focus your attention elsewhere other than her. Yes, easier said than done I know. But honestly you should be mad about this, no, actually pissed!

Listen, this girl hasn't been...

All you can do in a situation like this is walk away. She obviously doesn't respect you based upon her actions. If you've got the mustard for it... don't say a word and just cut contact completely....

There's a lot of good advice here and for the most part I agree with the others.

• Leave him alone. Back off and give him his time. He may or may not come back, sorry but that's the reality of...

Wondering how that last ditch effort went?

There are several ways of looking at your actions of saying, “Hey when you get your poop in a group I’ll be here waiting.” In my opinion you’re just...

I understand. That's the thing, he may not want to say it, say "it's over", because he feels that that would be cruel. It's hard to say what's going through his mind and ultimately he's the only...

From his actions you have to assume it's over. He apparently is not as invested in this relationship as you are. Nor does it appear that he wants to be. If I was in your shoes I would take a...

I'm just looking at the facts of your story. Why does everyone think this guy cheated on you? He didn't cheat, in fact he didn't do anything wrong. You two were broken up and having sex. By your...

Who's house/apt. is it? Is it jointly owned? If it is in fact as you say, "my house" then he has now claim to the home only his positions.

As far as letting him see his child, yes, I do believe...

As long as you keep hanging around with him and living the fantasy you'll continue down this path of frustration and heartache.

You know this was a really good thread with advice on surviving a break up... so what happened?!

I sorry... I guess I don't understand why everyone feels they must post their breakup stories...

Amicon had to spread the love but I just wanted to say I'll second your last post... this guy at least needs to TRY to focus your enery else where. Whining is not trying.

Really good post.

I strongly agree that cutting contact (No Contact) is an immediate must following a break up if just to let the emotions settle and get a grip on the situation. Plan rather...