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So you are both posting here? I'm confused.

I could not agree more.

So, she has sexual feelings towards him. She secretly texts him. They spent a night together in a hotel room, but say nothing happened. I think it's time to call her bluff.

She is being unfair to...

Yes, it definitely puts you in a bind. Could she be using you at this point, since she cannot afford to live on her own?

I know you deeply care for her, but if she is done with the relationship,...

It was NINE years ago, and he asked for the information. Is he a jealous person? This may be a red flag.

Not to get off track, but why do you think time is running out Derelict? You still have your whole life ahead of you! Your time as a child may be running out, but the adult world awaits you :)

So did you decide against asking "girl" out?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/how-judge-when-you-should-ask-girl-out-398152.html

So she can continue the pattern? You seem to be a glutton for punishment at the moment, wanting something out of someone that just isn't there, and never will be.

Like Tal and everyone else said,...

Great job! You are being very strong, and I think that says a lot about you as a person. Focusing on your studies will prove very beneficial in the end, for many reasons.

And as the days go by,...

Stay strong! You can do it!!

Perhaps you chose unfortunate wording here, but "letting" her hang out with friends? Are you her owner?


Also, it sounds like your relationship has been chock full o' drama. Maybe you are into...

Yes, you are feeding your inner self-pity monster. You'll get mad when girls post on his wall, look at his pictures w/ his buddies and try to find out what he's up to, etc.

It will be...

Time will give you a better overall perspective. You need time to heal. Time without her.

People handle things differently, and perhaps she felt the break-up coming and worked on getting over you...

Seems as if you need to address the lying first. Ask him why he lied to you. As others mentioned, it was probably so you wouldn't get mad at him. I'm not saying him lying is right by any means,...

Stand your ground. No need to give in to him when you did nothing wrong. That will just help this problem to happen again and again.

So the question here is what we think the chances of him calling you are?

Honestly, I would not bother yourself with dwelling on this question. What kind of man, after a year and a half of dating,...

Ask her.

Ok, so you are texting her to see if she's available for a phone call so you can see if she's available for a date??

Seems like a lot of excess and unnecessary communication. Because you both are...

Most have said this, but I would definitely forgo the favors. I throw them away after weddings I go to. Unfortunately, the favors mean way more to the bride than they do the guests! We didn't have...

You are still dwelling in places you shouldn't be. Try to move on, otherwise you are making it impossible for yourself to get over her.

Is he also the only person you've ever met? Because otherwise, I have a hard time believing that a man who would have two relationships (at least!) simultaneously for over two years, lying to and...

Hello Jeremy.

At this point, I think you should lay it all out on the line to her. I believe you already told her you liked her, but I would talk to her again, tell her that you've liked her for...

She is single... for now. You could "give her another chance", and she could do the same thing all over again. It's a vicious cycle. And if you give her another chance, and she doesn't go back to the...

I have found myself jealous in certain relationships, but not all of them. I realize jealousy is something that you have to work on, but I wonder if his actions are helping you to be this way?

My...

If you remain friends with him and stay in contact, it will be devastatingly hard for you to get over him, if not impossible. I honestly think the best thing you can do for yourself and him is to do...

I think that in December, the agreed-upon reassessment time you both chose, you definitely have the right to know what she wants. There is a chance that she may not know, though, and then what will...

This may sound harsh, but maybe he doesn't want to work on the problems? This whole "space" thing may be his way of trying to break it off and trying to lessen the blow to you.

I recommend that...

Sounds like you need to be quite stern when telling him how you feel. He needs to know, so he can try to make some changes to keep you around.

Explain to him just how serious this problem is, and...

Well, no relationship is ever PERFECT.

Is it possible that it's not really anyone's fault? You say he is your first love and that you were perfect, but perhaps it's just not meant to be, and you...

It sounds as if you love him very much, as you are wanting to spend the rest of your life with him and have his children.

If you dwell on that whole "vasectomy" thing, you are going to drive...

Sounds like a marvelous day! Enjoy yourself :)

Because you are obviously uncertain, and the fact that you two are attending different universities next year, I would hold off.

I do think age has some part in this, and she sounds a bit immature...

Like KC, I'm proud of you for turning down the concert offer. I'm sure it was incredibly difficult, but you stood your ground, and for that it will make this process easier for you.

Keep yourself...

It sounds a bit as if you are smothering her. The day that she was acting indifferent towards all of your "I love you's" etc, and you kept going with them, that probably made it worse.

As others...

First, I don't think you should be overly concerned with your family. I realize that's hard, but this is YOUR life, not theirs.

Second, I'm curious as to whether the mother of his children thinks...

Sounds like she's helping him by raising the two children he helped to create.

Going home to your parents sounds like a good plan for now, to help you sort things out in your own head.

I hope you both figure out what you want and need.

So during this break, she will potentially be dating other men? And will you be dating other women?

KC: I agree that taking breaks is an odd concept, a lot of the time probably BS. I've never experienced a "break taking" in one of my relationships. I do think a lot of the time it is code for just...

This isn't actually advice for you, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

I currently know/am friends with two different couples for whom their relationship is the only one they've ever been in....

I feel like I've seen an influx of similar situations here recently!

(I have posted this on another thread, but will summarize here)

I was in a very similar relationship to what you have...

Perhaps in her eyes, she was bringing a guy over to her brother's house. I'm sure her brother cares about who she dates, and she probably wanted them to meet. I don't blame her for this.

Like...

Hmm... there seems to be a couple red flags in your latest post that make me think that taking a step back is definitely the right thing to do.

If he lies about little things to not hurt your...

From what you've said, it just sounds like you have a lot of good in your relationship, so why not try all avenues before abandoning?

Best of luck, and keep us updated :)

Have you thought about seeing a relationship counselor? If he does in fact have some issue dealing with emotions, as certainly seems to be the case, perhaps this could help him learn to deal with his...

Honestly, I do think you are overreacting about the wrapper and all that. From what I gather from your post, you have been broken up for a couple of years? If that's the case, neither of you should...

**I posted this once, but something happened and I don't think it went through. Here goes again:


Hi mdoli. It sounds like you are at a college or university. Most have events on the weekends...

All relationships are different, but you know that already. Just because mine did not end with us staying together, it was for the best for us. But there is a good chance that yours is different.
...

Hi Brutus :)

Try to not be so concerned with what the others in the class think. You said most are older adults and parents, so they probably won't even think twice if they saw you two chatting a...

No, I am no longer in that relationship. I put 3 years into it, and the results never varied between day one, day 500, and so on.

Another similarity is that he was heart broken by his last GF, as...