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Type: Posts; User: vanheart

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  1. Answers
    7
    Views
    461

    Agree. Stop worrying. And expecting. Enjoy...

    Agree. Stop worrying.
    And expecting. Enjoy being single. Work that mindset.
    What's better? Stressing about unknowns, or enjoying the day. Or lotsa days..
    Your only concern should be you.
    Will...
  2. Question: How to fix me

    by vanheart
    Answers
    11
    Views
    537

    Let him know how you feel when he doesn't...

    Let him know how you feel when he doesn't respond. Then ask him how he feels when you rant & rave. Good start. Sounds like you guys don't really communicate.

    Set some time aside to learn how....
  3. Answers
    4
    Views
    366

    Remember a "break" means breakup. Done. Guess...

    Remember a "break" means breakup. Done. Guess you've already have a taste of what that means. Not you as a boyfriend.

    I say it isn't worth it. If you were both really solid, then there wouldn't...
  4. Answers
    5
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    366

    Trust is everything. You have no real proof of...

    Trust is everything. You have no real proof of anything or to think otherwise. As soon as you are comfortable and confident in your own skin and relationships & stop conjuring things up in your head,...
  5. Answers
    61
    Views
    3,288

    Have you deleted him yet? Texts, etc...

    Have you deleted him yet? Texts, etc...
  6. Not sure why you love a guy that's cheats....

    Not sure why you love a guy that's cheats. Especially 3X in 3 years. And want to spend your life with that. You could be counting them forever.

    He doesn't feel that same love you do.

    Not sure I...
  7. I agree. Don't diss a guy for going NC. Sometimes...

    I agree. Don't diss a guy for going NC. Sometimes that is the only option.
    I can attest to that. Was for me. Good on you. This isn't the end. There's lots of other girls to figure out. But now you...
  8. Answers
    18
    Views
    1,070

    Go NC. Never give her the time or satisfaction...

    Go NC. Never give her the time or satisfaction ever again. She disrepected you and shoved her exes in your face. Screw her. What? Did you want to be another one of her exes that she strings along and...
  9. 3 months doesn't really make a relationship. I...

    3 months doesn't really make a relationship. I know about long distance. Been there. Stay loose, don't expect. Don't be jealous and don't cling with too much I miss yous. My guess is that you like...
  10. Look up the meaning of ex. No longer. In the...

    Look up the meaning of ex. No longer. In the past. Don't be her friend. She's not yours. It isn't going to get you where I think you want to go. Unless you want to hear about her sex life all the...
  11. Answers
    4
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    433

    I agree. She already said she doesn't want to...

    I agree. She already said she doesn't want to commit. I guess that wasn't clear. Sometimes girls don't want to hurt your feelings. Especially if they have a puppy dog waiting & wagging their tail....
  12. Thanks for coming back with that. Appreciate it....

    Thanks for coming back with that. Appreciate it. Use what you learned here in the future. But I hope that it never happens. Be glad it wasn't 2 years trying for a lost cause. NC baby.
  13. Question: What to do?

    by vanheart
    Answers
    13
    Views
    397

    Until you get over your last one.

    Until you get over your last one.
  14. Is this all online? Or have you actually spent...

    Is this all online?

    Or have you actually spent time together? As a couple.

    How did this all start? How much actual time have you spent together in 2 years?

    What's the plan?

    "I enjoy the...
  15. Yup. All of that. Everything you said is true. ...

    Yup. All of that. Everything you said is true.

    Hes moving on.

    So should you.

    Forget him. There's a giant world out there filled with guys.

    And potential friends. Maybe best ones. Later.
  16. Nope. You have it exactly right. NC. All the...

    Nope. You have it exactly right.

    NC. All the way. That means no texts, responding. FB, calls, everything. A real commitment. To you.

    But one thing, in the meantime, don't try & find someone...
  17. Question: Baby Mama Drama

    by vanheart
    Answers
    7
    Views
    369

    You got with him knowing everything. Right? This...

    You got with him knowing everything. Right? This is all no surprise.

    Now reality has sunk in.

    What? You want to fight for a guy that hasn't or wants to deal with his past responsibilities?
    ...
  18. Answers
    3
    Views
    306

    That's what happens when you jump into something...

    That's what happens when you jump into something before you get over your ex.

    You were poised & couldn't wait. Like a vulture.

    That's not how it happens. Its usually when you least expect it.
    ...
  19. Question: Getting over him

    by vanheart
    Answers
    3
    Views
    239

    Sounds like you are just one of his chicks. ...

    Sounds like you are just one of his chicks.

    Maybe they are all saying the same thing.
  20. The only problem I see is that you keep getting...

    The only problem I see is that you keep getting with her, sleeping together.

    She doesn't want you as a boyfriend, No matter how hard you try & sympathy screws.
    Stop pressuring her.

    How about...
  21. Who's in control here? Get out. This is one...

    Who's in control here?

    Get out. This is one for the cops. And some serious therapy for you.

    "My fianc┼Ż drinks a lot"
    "He hits me.. In the face... Calls me names calls me a wh *re.. A dog"...
  22. Answers
    8
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    1,172

    That was an insecure, stupid question to begin...

    That was an insecure, stupid question to begin with.

    What girl wants a guy that doesn't trust her?

    The past is the past. Don't judge a girl. Judge yourself first.

    How many girls have you...
  23. Answers
    5
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    169

    At the end of all this. Just remember that you...

    At the end of all this.

    Just remember that you & your kids are what matters.

    I would not jump into anything with someone else.

    Its easy to do that & Im sure you want some well deserved...
  24. You just got betrayed by not only this guy but...

    You just got betrayed by not only this guy but your "best" friend.

    I would start picking & choosing wisely.

    Doesn't sound to me like they are worth your time.

    You can't trust them.

    You...
  25. Keep up the good work. Try ripping the letters...

    Keep up the good work.

    Try ripping the letters up. Don't even open them. They will stop.
  26. Question: What to do?

    by vanheart
    Answers
    13
    Views
    397

    Personally, I wouldn't. For me, when someone...

    Personally, I wouldn't.

    For me, when someone dumps you, they no longer deserve anything from you.
  27. Answers
    31
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    1,109

    Sorry to hear that. Get it? I have hearing...

    Sorry to hear that.
    Get it?

    I have hearing damage too. From playing bass in bands. It was standing next to the symbols that did it.
    Firstly a Parliament show. That took a week to get over.
    ...
  28. Answers
    19
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    3,826

    Have fun n New Years. Let me know how it goes.

    Have fun n New Years.

    Let me know how it goes.
  29. Answers
    2
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    900

    I agree. You and your baby come first. What's...

    I agree. You and your baby come first.

    What's the plan here? What's he have to say?

    I haven't heard one thing about what he is prepared to do? Just gifts.

    Now its your health and the babies...
  30. Answers
    3
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    1,497

    "She says she's just happier when she's single" ...

    "She says she's just happier when she's single"

    That's all you need to know. I got those exact lines from my ex. Mine said, "I wanna be single"
    That was after 5 years. I'm glad she was honest.
    ...
  31. You have sacrificed a bunch. Now, what about you?

    You have sacrificed a bunch.
    Now, what about you?
  32. This all comes down to you really. How much time...

    This all comes down to you really.
    How much time you want to invest.

    Its one thing getting with someone, its another thing trying to fix their issues.
    Remember it takes two. Maybe you are both...
  33. Answers
    10
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    1,401

    Never get with someone that's married. That...

    Never get with someone that's married.

    That only reflects on your character. No one else's.

    That's just cheating yourself.

    Who are you?
  34. Answers
    3
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    472

    You guys have to communicate about this. Sounds...

    You guys have to communicate about this. Sounds like you haven't much.

    You got yourself involved. Baby daddy. You knew the deal. Right?

    What is it you want? Exactly. Tell her.

    If you aren't...
  35. Answers
    31
    Views
    1,109

    I agree. Listen to mmresd. Read some other...

    I agree. Listen to mmresd.
    Read some other peoples posts here. They are no different than you.

    Reality hasn't sunk in yet. Hasn't for a while.

    Once you remove her & this & start living for...
  36. Answers
    6
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    408

    "But I always thought we were perfect together" ...

    "But I always thought we were perfect together"

    If it was perfect, then you wouldn't be here.

    "Call her? Leave her alone? Or wait to see what she is going to do

    No, yes & no.
  37. Like your name says, Its just you. Not him. ...

    Like your name says, Its just you. Not him.

    That's keeping yourself in misery.

    "I need him"

    You certainly don't need someone that doesn't want what you want. Or you. Really. Right?

    One...
  38. Answers
    10
    Views
    1,274

    You can't worry about what's going to happen. ...

    You can't worry about what's going to happen.

    Just about how you live today.

    We all have turmoil. But keep that to a minimum.

    Dude, sorry to say, I hope this isn't your last lesson.
    ...
  39. Answers
    4
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    771

    If you really want to know those answers then...

    If you really want to know those answers then look at who you get with.

    And why. Who you are.

    Im still asking those ones. If you find out, let me know, k?

    Spend less time worrying about the...
  40. Answers
    6
    Views
    408

    Consider yourself broken up. The sooner you...

    Consider yourself broken up.
    The sooner you realize that, the better.

    You can spend all of your energy trying to change her mind, but I wouldn't recommend it.

    The best thing you can do now is...
  41. I feel for you, and this all sucks. Sorry. My...

    I feel for you, and this all sucks. Sorry.

    My first real love dumped me for a co-worker of hers. I was a mess.
    The important thing to realize is not only what's making you happy, but what's not....
  42. Answers
    3
    Views
    391

    "The main problem is that we still live together"...

    "The main problem is that we still live together"

    I agree.

    My best pal just got divorced in NYC after 15 years. Had a huge battle over the apartment. Crazy. Lease sharing...

    Hes in, she's...
  43. Answers
    4
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    402

    Me either. I wouldn't tell her. Your loyalty is...

    Me either. I wouldn't tell her. Your loyalty is to your friend.

    "he stayed behind for some reason....and as I was giving him his blanket to sleep"

    I would leave it it that. Don't let it happen...
  44. Question: What to do?

    by vanheart
    Answers
    13
    Views
    397

    I know that shock. Couldn't sleep or eat either. ...

    I know that shock. Couldn't sleep or eat either.

    That's why Im here. If it wasn't for the incredible help on this site, Well...

    If you really have nuts. Then go NC now.

    Bold move. For you....
  45. I would concentrate on your studies. Also get...

    I would concentrate on your studies.

    Also get a bit of therapy. Understand why you are doing this.

    Its all wrong.
  46. Answers
    31
    Views
    1,109

    I know how you are feeling. Been there a few...

    I know how you are feeling. Been there a few times.

    You just have to go NC. I know I preach that, but it will help built some character.
    It will give yourself some time to soak things in,...
  47. Answers
    19
    Views
    3,826

    Who's going to be harsh here. Not me. "she...

    Who's going to be harsh here.

    Not me.

    "she also added that it is not she cared but just wanted to know"

    The more you try here, the more you are going to be rejected. Lay off.

    Don't...
  48. Answers
    10
    Views
    1,274

    Yeah, you got it exactly right. "Clinging on the...

    Yeah, you got it exactly right.
    "Clinging on the past = suffering. Moving on = happiness and a bright future"

    Now live that sh$t.

    So a whoops, whatever. Now you confirmed it. More.

    NC, my...
  49. Answers
    8
    Views
    386

    Im happy that you are seeing that this isn't for...

    Im happy that you are seeing that this isn't for you.

    Aside from LD and an online fantasy.

    "Then she said one night she posted how her man gave her a vibrator"

    Stop talking to her. Or...
  50. You haven't seen him for 6 years, then texted him...

    You haven't seen him for 6 years, then texted him that you love him?

    Then never meant it? Do I have that right?

    Your first kiss? Awww.
    That's cute.
    What have you been doing for the past 6...
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