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Hello EVERYONE!
Sorry I have not been on this site v much, but I thought to update etc... sorry the thread is long- I wrote it when I was on a 12hr flight lol...

Moving on after the ex

The...

Hi Empty Cans, just caught up with your thread- as I have not been on this site for ages- I think you should just let time do its thing- you will have days where you will not think of the ex- and...

Happy New Year Tal, from Hot sunny Singapore!

I agree- friends are the best support one can get, as they can help in many ways and make things a bit easier for you. One of my friends has a evil rule- every time a bugger up- I have to buy him a...

I Wish,
A very well written post!

NC is important as when someone is dumped- they are in so much pain and shock= cannot think at all, except for how to solve the break up.

By going on NC- it...

I thought to update my post as I have not done so since April and I wanted the opportunity to share my thoughts and developments with everyone as a reflection of my year so far. I can't help thinking...

Relationships are only pointless if your with a pointless person lol...

Relationships= heaven if you find someone on the same page as you and wants pretty much the same thing in life as you...

Hi Empty Cans,
Well what I can say is “moving on” is v hard to do. From my experience, best part of the first year was me just registering we are no longer together, and I went through sheer hell...

HI Exbest friend,

Look once upon a time- you two were together and it was great etc and then he made a choice and left this relationship. What ever mess he is in today- is based on HIS CHOICES not...

HI Best friend,
The only thing you can do good for you- is carry on doing things that make your life special for you. I am sure over the past two years you have been doing that- and so keep going.
...

Hi Empty cans,
Just look at it this way- the worse is over and you are free. The fact you have cut all contacts= good thing for you.

You can now focus on your hoilday to S. America and just...

Hi Im Totally lost,
Looks like your just going through a dip- not to worry- as the dip will disappear just as it came.

Instead of thinking of the ex- etc- think of positive things you can do...

Well this is what you need to realise

A person that cheats is:

Only thinking about themselves

Takes what is in front of them, and enjoy butter being spread on both sides of the bread

Does...

Dear Starbucks,

I don't know what to say- I have not been on this forum for a while. This evening I went on your FB wall as I have not heard from you for a while and so I went on your wall to...

I agree with the above,

If I was in a serious relationship, I would not make friends with a guy when he shows he is interested in me that way.

However if he was interested as a friend and...

I am sorry to hear this- but he is a player and he is just using you- if I was you I would DUMP HIM big time and NEVER LOOK BACK.

Just imagine if you did not get back with him- you would have...

Hey Empty Cans,

Well you can look at this in a positive way in that she told you before you came over and so this way you can give yourself some time to digest things and be good with you. At...

I agree with jmw0713,

For me the ex causes nothing- but for me to slip and then for me to sabotage everything to pieces= does me no good at the end.

I am lucky in the sense I live on the other...

HI Empty Cans- glad to hear your well-

I find that whenever the ex contacts ( last time was in March) me- I find myself slipping back to that hell hole slowly.In fact I realised that this happens...

More info is needed!!

Yep I agree with the above- time to book yourself a single ticket back home

Just read the post- and well it all sounds v fishy indeed... your credit card info is a personal thing and only you should get to see it, unless it is a joint credit card... like with your ...

Dear Kay 84 and ajGambino,

Many thanks for your comments and sharing how you are feeling- it takes a long, long time indeed and what I will say is that it is sheer hard work to get back on your...

Well KC, We do have fab technology these days you know eg:

you can get your hair relaxed or curlyed up at the salon= no hair products, no hair utensils, just ONE hairdryer- a quick blast of 5...

Hey Snow124,

Thank you for updating your situation. I think you were very brave in trying again and giving your best. At least now you can see clearly how much she has changed and that things will...

Okay here it goes:

To be able to pause and breathe at your own time and space

To remember who you are and what your values, morals and respect are and to stick to them

No more rushing...

Thanks Kctiger! It is strange to add a post after such a while- lol... anyway I like your post about 'the joys of being single'... I guess I will have to make a small list and add on to the post!

Hi Everyone, Sorry that I have not posted for a while- I guess I was taking a break from this site.

Not much to update, except Myles turned up in Singapore on the first week of March out of the...

Hey Alisterdenise, a bit more information on the situation would really help us understand your situation.

You might love two people- but equally?? Hmmm how would you define equally in such a situation?

I so agree with the above - as your wife- hopefully she WILL tell you where to go...

For me it was more hurtful the second time round, as when we got back together- I really placed a lot of effort and heart in sorting things out- which we did- only for him to make a lousey same...

I agree with everyone except heading gutter...
take this crush as normal- as we are human beings and will in our life times find others attractive when we are with someone- in a way that is...

If there is no way round this and you have to talk- then you better sit down and bullet point what you want to ask/clear and talk about. Best to write it down. This way your focus and well solid.

Well at least you can set your boundaries with yourself and the ex and know what you will do and not do - this way you can enjoy your trip without all the complications.

I think Empty cans will be OK with this situation- I think this is him wanted to clear his mind for him- as he is strong and has a good mindset- I think whatever he wants to sort out- will be done....

Hi Gearhe4d,
You are doing the right thing for YOU- good for you- keep going forward- and don't look back, even thou it is hard.

The reason she still contacting you- is because she wants ALL HER...

I agree this relationship is going wrong and is unhealthy- what I meant from before is that if I had to return an engagement ring- I would take that as the relationship is totally over. You don't...

Yep I agree with kctiger, let her go- after all the effort you have place in this relationship you deserve better!

You dont- sorry he has made his choice and has moved on. You should do the same and start NC and start making ways for you to move forward

W T F?
I am sorry, if he wanted to give you a wake up call- why didn't he just talk like normal people do.

I think it was not nice of him to ask the ring back and to ask for it on V DAY!

If...

I agree with the above- I think it is a rebound situation. Do what you have to do and so you don't get hurt anymore than your already going through.

Having her in your life= more pain as she is...

Hey someone it takes a long time. I can only comment based on what I went through.

It has been 6 months since the breakup of 9 years and so how do I feel?

Sad and angry with the cheating- but...

Hmmm... I think this can go the other way as well you know...

At the end it is all about how confident you are, and how ready you are after a breakup

I also agree with others- it is normally...

Gear4hd,

What the new boyfriend does is not your concern

What your ex does is not your concern

What is your concern: YOU!

Start worrying about YOU!!

Ex's or friends with benefits is a NO NO...

You will just get hurt and more confused at the end- what is the point in that?


Read what the others wrote- Chuff has said it all so well!

Time...

A closure from the ex- would be helpful- but many times one finds that you don't get it. So the best thing to do is find the closure for yourself and find peace within you and move on.

Get some nice shades

Look in the mirror more and say you are a good person

Smile smile and smile- you just don't know who will catch your smile and make your day!

Keep repeating the above...

Hey Gear4hd,
I am sorry to hear this news for you as it must be very hard for you. But look on the positive side- you now have clarity on the situation- she is with someone else. PERIOD. THE END.
...

NC at the start can be very hard to do... I too broke it a few times and all that happened is I got more pain... eventually I learnt the beauty of NC and one day started the GOLDEN NC and I have kept...

Best to create a distance between you and Guy A- you managed to put him back of your mind once and so I am sure you can do this again.