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Type: Posts; User: lacuran8626

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  1. Answers
    6
    Views
    1,491

    In the simplest terms, focus on yourself and...

    In the simplest terms, focus on yourself and enjoy him. Dating requires you to maintain independence, and for your happiness from day to day not to depend on what he's doing, or how he feels about...
  2. Answers
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    342

    If this is not a legal arrangement, you can't do...

    If this is not a legal arrangement, you can't do this. If it is a legal arrangement he agreed to, he might have the right to reverse the arrangements.

    In any event, it sounds like your father is...
  3. Answers
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    497

    This seems like an easy fix to me. Invite them...

    This seems like an easy fix to me. Invite them to dinner, and set their minds at ease. They are concerned for their daughter, and want to make sure that with as involved with you as she is, that...
  4. Answers
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    5,318

    First, I don't think people should be put out...

    First, I don't think people should be put out that their kids are not invited to a wedding just because other children are in the bridal party and are, therefore, invited. Weddings are very costly...
  5. Answers
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    3,716

    I don't personally think it's important to add...

    I don't personally think it's important to add flowers to the church because the bride and bridesmaids will have flowers they are carrying and often the groom and groomsment and other important...
  6. I think your mother was mentally ill and had no...

    I think your mother was mentally ill and had no idea how to act differently. That doesn't make it OK, but perhaps you can find a way to accept that picture and be mad at the illness, and forgive...
  7. Answers
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    1,843

    First, I don't think there should be height and...

    First, I don't think there should be height and weight requirements to be someone's friend. If your friends are unkind to her, you should be upstanding enough to speak up for her to them, even if...
  8. Focus on what you do have. A very fortunate...

    Focus on what you do have. A very fortunate person might have a handful of close friends in an entire lifetime and for some of us it's harder to find those people than it is for others.

    When I...
  9. Answers
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    517

    Why limit yourself? Using this site you can...

    Why limit yourself? Using this site you can bring up all sorts of things and get all sorts of viewpoints from people of different ages. I've found that people give pretty decent insights... I often...
  10. Answers
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    2,825

    It would be a nice touch but this is the bride's...

    It would be a nice touch but this is the bride's decision. Don't set your daughter up to have any expectations that she will be in the wedding party. If you see it is hurting her feelings, perhaps...
  11. I don't understand why you are waiting to tell...

    I don't understand why you are waiting to tell them, either. If you are young and spring it on them in October, they will feel you are rushing because... I mean, 8 weeks? That's not even enough...
  12. No problem... I hope you end up enjoying this...

    No problem... I hope you end up enjoying this event and not just feeling like you have to fit the part for the photos! This is my biggest frustration with weddings now... it used to be that mothers...
  13. Answers
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    3,600

    Have a simple wedding either at the courthouse or...

    Have a simple wedding either at the courthouse or at the home of a friend or relative, and keep the celebration simple afterward. Just have immediate family. Make at least one night in a nice hotel...
  14. Answers
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    2,184

    You are basically asking if it's OK to divide...

    You are basically asking if it's OK to divide your family and friends into the A list and the B list which is not at all acceptable. Inevitably someone on the B list will feel they should have been...
  15. Answers
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    418

    Congratulations, first of all. I wish you and...

    Congratulations, first of all. I wish you and your children and fiancé the best. It would be entirely appropriate to send an announcement out with perhaps a photo from the wedding day... no need...
  16. Answers
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    406

    First of all, you don't have to decide anything...

    First of all, you don't have to decide anything alone. Talk to your parents. Second, where you go to school and whether you stay with this boyfriend are two different decisions.

    It sounds like...
  17. Answers
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    517

    I suggest that you talk to your hall director or...

    I suggest that you talk to your hall director or RA or whomever is in charge at the dorm and ask for a change of roomates. This guy is doing nothing for you, much less for himself. School is...
  18. Answers
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    425

    I don't know whether he's a sadist or not but...

    I don't know whether he's a sadist or not but clearly he's in a lot of emotional trouble. It sounds like he's a teenager? Just a guess. Talk to his parents about your concerns, or a school...
  19. Question: Is it fair?

    by lacuran8626
    Answers
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    Views
    765

    What's fair is for him to be honest and for you...

    What's fair is for him to be honest and for you to decide whether it's a deal-breaker issue. People don't have another child to be fair to their partner - they do it because they are committed to...
  20. Answers
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    574

    I would suggest that you take her out to dinner...

    I would suggest that you take her out to dinner with the express purpose of listening to her and not arguing against what she tells you or trying to tell her she's wrong. This is hard to do. Just...
  21. Answers
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    1,487

    File for divorce. MAke sure you get primary...

    File for divorce. MAke sure you get primary physical custody of the kids. My understanding is that in a lot of situations, the parent who keeps the kids often keeps the house as well. The thing...
  22. If you have feelings for an old boyfriend and are...

    If you have feelings for an old boyfriend and are married, nothing good can come of rekindling even just a friendship. I assume your husband doesn't know about this, and if he did would not approve...
  23. Answers
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    14,378

    I would have an intervention. Hire a counselor...

    I would have an intervention. Hire a counselor to come over, and other people who are not doing drugs or alcohol and set the stage. He can either go into treatment immediately (have it set up in...
  24. Question: Teenage son

    by lacuran8626
    Answers
    18
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    8,165

    I'm not an expert and I do not have a perfect...

    I'm not an expert and I do not have a perfect child, but I have hit on some things that are working with my young (13) teenage boy.

    1. We only negotiate things that warrant the energy. I do not...
  25. Answers
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    733

    Talk to your lawyer to be sure, but my...

    Talk to your lawyer to be sure, but my understanding is that in most states you can request a review of child support arrangements from your county on a set schedule such as every three years, and...
  26. Answers
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    423

    Who knows. She may be seeing you as the cause of...

    Who knows. She may be seeing you as the cause of the current fix she's in. Ask her what you can do to be of support and let her know you intend to take a role as the father, whether with her or on...
  27. Answers
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    1,483

    Don't be so understanding! He is doing what his...

    Don't be so understanding! He is doing what his father taught him to do and take no more of it from him than you are willing to continue taking from his father.

    If he's rude say, "I will not...
  28. I think it's perfectly fine to tell her what you...

    I think it's perfectly fine to tell her what you have - that is a private thing and you only do it when you are alone. Treat her doing it in front of you, other family members and at school as a...
  29. Answers
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    2,407

    I think if she says something like that she hates...

    I think if she says something like that she hates all of you, I would just say, "honey, why do you hate us?" If she says it's because you're all part of corporate America, ask her, "what do you...
  30. Answers
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    2,432

    It might not even be about you. Maybe she's...

    It might not even be about you. Maybe she's going through something she's just not ready to share with you. I don't know you at all so please don't be offended if I ask whether there's a...
  31. Answers
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    497

    Sopmethign must have happened in her life. ...

    Sopmethign must have happened in her life. Either she learned or experienced something with you that made her uncomfortable, or there's something going on she wants to have privacy with, or she has...
  32. Answers
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    68,681

    I love this post. Hilarious. I can really...

    I love this post. Hilarious. I can really relate to the part where people act nuts right after the breakup. I had a particularly embarrassing moment during my divorce. I had an innocent crush on...
  33. Answers
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    471

    Worry is a pretty useless human emotion... it...

    Worry is a pretty useless human emotion... it raises our anxiety, deprives us of sleep, irritates any health conditions we do have and solves nothing. Just get a physical and ease your mind.

    A...
  34. Answers
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    1,297

    There's a great organization called Adult...

    There's a great organization called Adult Children of Alcoholics and I think you could unravel a lot of hurt and grief and move on from it little by little by joining them. They are nearly in every...
  35. Answers
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    Maybe find a way to spend time one on one with...

    Maybe find a way to spend time one on one with family members you do want to be with. When you are more comfortable, you can share why the other child makes you feel uncomfortable.

    They are...
  36. Just say, "Mom, I want to spend some time alone...

    Just say, "Mom, I want to spend some time alone with you like we used to do. I'll bring the kids next time." Let her know that you miss the old days and are going to be selfish with her once in a...
  37. Question: What to do?

    by lacuran8626
    Answers
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    327

    Document it all and take it to your attorney. If...

    Document it all and take it to your attorney. If you know of income tax fraud, report it. If cards have been opened in your name, you can find out by getting a credit report. Close them and report...
  38. Question: In limbo

    by lacuran8626
    Answers
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    1,140

    Talk to her well before the wedding. Tell her...

    Talk to her well before the wedding. Tell her why you felt hurt- that you did not feel she was there for you when you divorced and that as soon as she was over hers, she seemed to forget about you. ...
  39. What do you figure they are saying about you? ...

    What do you figure they are saying about you?

    What is good about people around you? Why are you invested in what another person looks like or how they act?

    If they are not appealing to you,...
  40. Answers
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    595

    There are three feelings people often have when...

    There are three feelings people often have when this kind of thing happens. You might feel your own sadness and feeilngs of loss - as you would if you had been close to him and felt the loss in your...
  41. Answers
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    1,111

    Support and love your brother. Set your...

    Support and love your brother. Set your boundaries with her. Do not engage in arguments, just don't dance to her tune unless she's being appropriate to you. Love the children - it's not their...
  42. Answers
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    1,685

    You need to physically move on even if you are...

    You need to physically move on even if you are not emotionally done with her. What I mean is that you need to start a new life for yourself without her. Plan vacations, have people over, buy season...
  43. Answers
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    687

    A letter is like a fundraising effort... don't do...

    A letter is like a fundraising effort... don't do it! If someone asks, that's another story and it depends on who's asking. A neighbor who's kid is coming to the birthday party? I would come up...
  44. Answers
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    6,870

    I agree with donf. Many churches charge, or the...

    I agree with donf. Many churches charge, or the soloists have their own fee. If not, I certainly would offer something. Ask your funeral director and/or pastor. If they don't know or don't want...
  45. I don't know the rules here, but this is what I...

    I don't know the rules here, but this is what I would do, for what it's worth... If you think enough of someone to send them an announcement, I would also enclose an invitation to a celebration like...
  46. Question: Shoes

    by lacuran8626
    Answers
    10
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    2,317

    If it's an apartment or condo or townhouse, I...

    If it's an apartment or condo or townhouse, I would get a small rug and keep your shoes on it just inside your door. If you have a garage where you reside, perhaps you could come in that way and...
  47. Question: Pall bearers

    by lacuran8626
    Answers
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    853

    It is a sign of respect but has been abandoned by...

    It is a sign of respect but has been abandoned by some funeral directors for the practical reason that it makes it harder to get a good grip - they make the grip more slippery.

    I have also heard...
  48. Answers
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    6,669

    You should have been sent a thank you note but I...

    You should have been sent a thank you note but I don't see the sense in waiting for it, either. You gave what you wanted to give and now it's, well - given away!

    I would not give an anniversary...
  49. Answers
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    2,062

    Change the locks and don't invite the jerk back...

    Change the locks and don't invite the jerk back who has been using the place carte-blanche. I'd confront him about it, as well.

    If someone has the audacity to ask or worse yet - just expect -...
  50. Answers
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    886

    If you can go, it would be a lovely gesture and...

    If you can go, it would be a lovely gesture and the right thing to do in support of your child. If you can't go, it would be understandable. Just don't let on to anyone that you aren't "chosing" to...
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