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  1. DoulaLC, very nice points you bring up. It is...

    DoulaLC, very nice points you bring up. It is possible that I am caught up in the excitement he offers and the breath of fresh air he brings. I've never done anything like this before, so I believe...
  2. Cat1864, thank you very much for your response, I...

    Cat1864, thank you very much for your response, I really do appreciate it. You're right, I may not be someone who is completely informed and I know I am not invincible, so getting advice here is very...
  3. All right, I do see the point you both are making...

    All right, I do see the point you both are making (JudyKayTee and ScottGem), as it certainly does answer why it is frowned upon. What I meant with "putting morals" on me was statements such as "...an...
  4. @JudyKayTee, I apologize if my responses are...

    @JudyKayTee, I apologize if my responses are confusing. I can see how the conclusions were made from my statement "So this new guy is almost a validation to me. It tells me "Yes, I can be...
  5. And also, it's not that I need someone else for...

    And also, it's not that I need someone else for validation, I didn't mean for it to sound that way. I just meant that this "new chapter" I wrote about in one of my previous responses is finally...
  6. Please don't use the term "clean" as sti-free,...

    Please don't use the term "clean" as sti-free, that implies people with such infections are "dirty" which many would consider offensive. Yes, discussions of sti status/testing have been established...
  7. What I would gain from this... well, before I...

    What I would gain from this... well, before I finally left my ex boyfriend, I literally did not think I would be capable of feeling ANYTHING towards ANYONE else. This thought terrified me and kept me...
  8. Thank you all for your answers. Jake, you bring...

    Thank you all for your answers. Jake, you bring up a lot of great points. I've never done anything like this ever before, so you're right I am taking a risk. I don't know if I'll get attached or if...
  9. Why are fwbs (friends with benefits) so frowned upon?

    All right, so around this time last year, I went through a long, drawn out, messy breakup. Needless to say, I am fully healed and my own person again. I'm definitely ready to explore other people,...
  10. Although this isn't a case of IBS, my sister has...

    Although this isn't a case of IBS, my sister has a chronic digestion problem that prevents her come doing a lot of things. It can be much worse at times than others. She's always scared she won't be...
  11. Answers
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    First loves are always going to be hard to get...

    First loves are always going to be hard to get over. I understand the whole "I'm over him! ....wait, no I'm not" thing. It gets very frustrating. You need to avoid this guy as much as possible, take...
  12. Answers
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    All I see when I read this is one negative after...

    All I see when I read this is one negative after another. The only thing keeping you from leaving is yourself. Maybe it's because he's all you've known for so long, maybe you feel you can't do any...
  13. I agree with pandead, if there's so much...

    I agree with pandead, if there's so much overwhelming trust in this relationship, why do you feel the need to see what's up in her Facebook? That sounds more like validating your trust. Like.. "okay,...
  14. I've been through the whole strip club secrecy...

    I've been through the whole strip club secrecy drama, and I know it's not fun at all. BUT.. Like Tal said, the fact that he made the mistake and did better next time says a lot in my opinion. That...
  15. Yes, I definitely understand how you need to hear...

    Yes, I definitely understand how you need to hear that you're right. My ex would constantly tell me I was crazy, and imagining things, and it was all in my head, and that things are only bad because...
  16. Well, it's obviously a problem if he's values his...

    Well, it's obviously a problem if he's values his drinking time over talking to you. I went through 4 horrible years of dating an alcoholic. It started with him just drinking with his friends, like...
  17. Whoa, 7 years is a long time to be with someone...

    Whoa, 7 years is a long time to be with someone that you aren't physically attracted to and not in love with! That is an issue in itself. On the other hand, I don't think you can fall in love with...
  18. Well, do you return the favors? Do you let her...

    Well, do you return the favors? Do you let her know HER pleasure is a priority to you? Most women don't enjoy being begged and begged to give out favors without even hinting at anything in return....
  19. Answers
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    I do in a sense know where you're coming from, as...

    I do in a sense know where you're coming from, as I've battled with insecurities myself, but you cannot let it rule your life like this. Unless there are major trust issues here and you have concrete...
  20. Noooo you do not stay in this "relationship"....

    Noooo you do not stay in this "relationship". Break up with him, gain yourself worth back, and enjoy your life with a whole lot less stress. You're worth more than this and you know it! You've...
  21. Answers
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    This looks like a path to disaster. Like the...

    This looks like a path to disaster. Like the above poster said, he is a charmer. He'll get to you, you'll find yourself thinking about him more and more and what could have been with him and less...
  22. Answers
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    It sounds like to me you need to stop dropping...

    It sounds like to me you need to stop dropping hints and start talking! You need to communicate a lot more openly, especially since you've been together for over a year! It could be that he simply...
  23. Answers
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    If she didn't want to talk about her past, why...

    If she didn't want to talk about her past, why the heck are you yelling at her for it? Obviously she's still emotionally hurt from it, why are you even bringing it up? If she wanted to talk about her...
  24. Answers
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    Well if she cries all the time then something is...

    Well if she cries all the time then something is obviously on her mind a lot. It's time to talk to her and find out what's causing her to be so upset. Sometimes its hard for some to open up to others...
  25. Answers
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    You don't make her stop crying... Maybe she just...

    You don't make her stop crying... Maybe she just really loves the movie and gets emotionally involved? Maybe something else was bothering her during the movie? I'm not understanding what the deal is...
  26. Oh hun I know where you're coming from. :( It's...

    Oh hun I know where you're coming from. :( It's not fun, at. All.

    "Now i am having trouble rebuilding trust in him as i am scared he will hurt me again, yet he yells at me because he expects it...
  27. I can relate to your post on a more broad...

    I can relate to your post on a more broad spectrum- lack of a social life! I've only had one serious relationship too, and now that it's over and I'm well on my way in healing, I'm kind of unsettled...
  28. Answers
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    Well the relationship may have been great on your...

    Well the relationship may have been great on your end, but perhaps not on her end, especially if she went from one day wanting to marry you to not even being sure if she liked you the next. And if...
  29. I can see from your comments that you know what...

    I can see from your comments that you know what to do :) You don't deserve being tossed around like this. That can really screw with a person! My ex wanted to stay in contact too while he worked...
  30. I definitely know how hard NC is, but it DOES get...

    I definitely know how hard NC is, but it DOES get better. I thought all the same things as you, like him moving on and forgetting me the longer we went without contact. But.. once enough time has...
  31. Answers
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    I don't think you've found "the one" if you are...

    I don't think you've found "the one" if you are constantly being emotionally abused. You've done your part by being open and bringing this to his attention, and if all he can say is that you're "too...
  32. No, don't call him. Yes I know you still love him...

    No, don't call him. Yes I know you still love him and care about him, but seriously, why would you want to be with someone who hasn't told you they love you in a year?? Wouldn't you want a partner...
  33. Answers
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    Please get out of this situation, for YOURSELF! I...

    Please get out of this situation, for YOURSELF! I understand how much you love and care for him, but playing the caretaker role isn't normal, functional, or healthy in any relationship. I can say...
  34. You sound like a very caring and devoted partner,...

    You sound like a very caring and devoted partner, so try to keep your chin up. I know exactly how you're feeling, as me and many others are going through the same thing. Unfortunately, there really...
  35. Answers
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    Leave this situation alone. He has a girlfriend...

    Leave this situation alone. He has a girlfriend now and there is nothing you can do about it, unfortunately. You left your boyfriend to try things out with this new guy because he gave you the...
  36. Answers
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    Comment on talaniman's post

    Thanks tal! Just got back from the gym to clear my head, feeling better about this already. You're right, people skills really are just as important.. I'll need to start working on that harder!
  37. Answers
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    Violated No Contact, now trying to get back on track...

    I've made a clean cut from my boyfriend of 4 years over a month ago... until recently. One night he called verrry early in the morning, and I groggily answered the phone before even seeing who was...
  38. Answers
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    Whaat? I don't understand why your parents must...

    Whaat? I don't understand why your parents must know that? It doesn't affect your parents in any shape, way, or form. That is just setting her up to be judged and most likely makes her feel worse...
  39. Answers
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    I think you made the right decision :) You are...

    I think you made the right decision :) You are smart enough to value yourself worth and sanity before it got too crazy- that's a refreshing read! Others are not so lucky. Some of us get so deeply...
  40. I know what it's like playing multiple roles in a...

    I know what it's like playing multiple roles in a relationship. I felt like a parent and babysitter above all to my ex. I cared so deeply for his well being. I felt like I couldn't leave him because...
  41. Answers
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    Well, it sounds like to me you didn't let...

    Well, it sounds like to me you didn't let yourself properly heal before you jumped into a new relationship. Having on/off contact and meeting up for a few months after a serious relationship is not...
  42. Answers
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    I know it's painful losing the one you love, but...

    I know it's painful losing the one you love, but do not even think about asking for her back until you have ACTUALLY changed. Just don't put her through the torment. I went through this with my ex...
  43. Answers
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    Comment on summer_girl's post

    Thank you so much! This book looks like a good first step... it's right up my alley! I will be keeping an eye out when I'm at the bookstore next.
  44. Answers
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    Feeling low... taking steps backwards instead of forward.

    Wow. Okay. Well I've finally left my alcoholic, lying boyfriend of 4 years. We've been officially broken up for about a month now. At first it was the most painful, unbearable, most awful thing I've...
  45. Answers
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    A serious relationship takes work from BOTH ends....

    A serious relationship takes work from BOTH ends. The fact that she's not admitting she's in a relationship with you TO HER EX puts up a huge red flag right there in itself. It's time to have a very...
  46. Answers
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    Your new found dilemma is a very dangerous one. I...

    Your new found dilemma is a very dangerous one. I found myself in this situation. We had both just broke up with our bestfriend/partners and we were both vulnerable. We ended up, in a sense, using...
  47. Answers
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    I can somewhat relate to your situation. I just...

    I can somewhat relate to your situation. I just left my boyfriend of 4 years. Our relationship ended because of different issues (his alcohol abuse and constant lying), but I understand how...
  48. Answers
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    Comment on Clemintine's post

    Thank you so much for your kind words! It helps. I can already feel myself getting a tiny bit stronger, which is a start at least.
  49. Answers
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    Comment on Clemintine's post

    Thank you so much for your input. Yes, he has been to counseling and he didn't take it seriously. He has changed on his own, but it's definitely still a problem that I can't handle anymore. I'm...
  50. Answers
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    Yeah, we've gone down the whole...

    Yeah, we've gone down the whole meetings/counseling road. He didn't respond well to it. He has gotten a lot better on his own, but it will never truly go away. It's something that really scares me...
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