Search:

I tried to make it shorter (unsuccessfully) which is why it appears to be in small anecdotes. I listed my sisters behaviour in an attempt for it to be more clear (unsuccessfully). Sorry it's not very...

My family was never particularly functional.

I've always been very low in self esteem and quite withdrawn, haven't set good boundaries... which shows in the abusive relationships I have had, and...

I wasn't scared of this in the beginning. But now. I am scared that no one else will love me enough to not leave me. Not see negative things and pull me down. Not cheat and want to find someone...

I feel so lost.

its all over. He broke it off. Saying "you don't know when to stop. your negativity brings me down too much and i can't deal with it."

so I finally drove him away with my...

I need to get some balls. And realise that I don't need to do any forgiving and forgetting. I need to look at the past, use my anger and frustration and look after myself emotionally. I need to see...

the therapy is working on changing me. And we have gone over the childhood so much... and done some cognitive schema work... a few being that I think in very black and white terms, that I carry blame...

Oh also there is no chance that he will become phsyically abusive in the future by the way, He is not like that AT ALL. And never lets me live down the times when I have lashed out.
But I have...

I don't want the drama to carry on. But I am just scared that I will get MORE drama if I leave him and end up alone or with someone worse. I guess I worry that IF he has really changed then I am...

Even when I lost tonnes of weight and was underweight, he said I had gained and that he prefers me thinner. Most people were worried about my health. He said I had 'let go' and gained weight and even...

Well that's the thing. Therapy is concentrating on restructuring negative thoughts into positive/ neutral ones. So I try to restructure negative things he has said in the past. I feel like its...

I like the sound of that carrotTalker. For some reason though I just don't see that its possible for me! And I know... thats probably why I'm not having any luck. I guess I just feel this kind of...

Oh and I have so many doubts about this because when I broke it off with him I had 2 more relationships that were emotionally abusive. So I guess I feel I can't do better. Or that all relationships...

he says he wants marriage and kids and doesn't want anyone else (hasnt been out with other women the whole year and no sex from me).

on one hand it sounds lovely. On the other its downright scary...

OK... I'm going to get yelled at... but...
I am seeing a psych. I told her about the relationship issues. I took advice from here and stated I wanted to work on myself. Thing is... the relationship...

I guess there isn't one post that has said 'oh, well maybe he is changing! You should give him another go!' hah! That should be a clue for me

Threads merged

Ok, so I am reading the posts where people ask what they should do if their partner says negative things about their body.

I have a huge thread about my ex, but isolating the...

Amicon, I see what you mean. And unless I work on myself I won't be able to see clear enough to protect myself from abusive relationships. Yet, at the same time I can't seem to see why I should leave...

Taliniman,

I was just reading another thread where you listed some of your relationship rules.

One being "never let them break your heart twice." I feel so much guilt with my ex, I broke his...

It's weird. Because I went for abusive men, she told me I should stop going for what's 'comfortable', because people mistake comfort for love when used to abuse.

Yet, I feel uncomfortable around...

I guess when you're actually in it, and have a conscience like me, then you can't see the wrong he is doing anymore.

Particularly with the last stuff I wrote about him saying he put his life on...

Thank you for the congrats! And the cyber hug! =oD I'm a fan of those!

Yep Taliniman I have been more independent and I think that's part of the reason that he has stressed out and 'turned the...

It's scary that you are only 13. Really scary! What is the world coming too! At 13 I had just finished playing with Barbies (I know, I know, that was a bit old for most =p) but still. I broke up with...

I agree Kitkat, This is a SERIOUS issue. NOTE: YOU COULD BE CHARGED! Sure, he PROBABLY Won't. But if you keep hanging around and using these excuses he may just do that! This is serious! I can't...

When I was younger I had issues with being able to talk to people too. Some people are just shy. Some have ulteria motives. HOWEVER... I would also wonder if you cheated on her, how else is your...

Thanks for your words, they are very true. And is so needed that cyber hug!

I thought things were getting better.
I haven’t been spending AS MUCH time with him. He got angry said I was pulling...

I can't wait for my therapist session. I used to just think 'you're so young and silly, it'll work itself out' I was 17-20 then. I have wasted 6 years now. Same cycle (no matter how stupid it all...

I agree with Kitkat, you do need to think of yourself. Like I said before she may definitely just need space and time. THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU HOLD ON! You need to think of yourself, love yourself and...

Well done! That is a great step! You should be proud of yourself! REALLY proud that you had the strength to pull yourself out of that situation. So what id she is with that person! POOR THEM! Ha ha!...

Oh my gosh. This is like looking into a mirror for me! Different experiences, but same issue.

Yes she has treared you disrespectfully but you are allowing it because you are not removing yourself...

Everyone goes through this! Well, most people anyway! When you break up you start thinking of all the good things they did and put them on some sort of pedestal. You want those times back. Reality...

Oh, I do sympathize with you! It is so hard! You will have periods where you think straight and know what you're doing. Then you will have erratic times and question what you are doing (all the while...

Ye, I agree. How would SHE feel if you did this TO HER? No way would she allow it! (I'm guessing). She needs help with her alcohol problem (not from you though!. Professionally! You can't change...

Why is she angry about the past? What happened in the past that she is so resentful and angry at you?

Yea, in my experience the best thing is to do is ignore him. Keep a record of messages. But ignore him. I have been baited similar to this by an ex and it made me get angry and yell and say things I...

I don't think you need to worry about the scars on her heart. Hopefully she is a big girl that has sorted them out. Hopefully you can be confident that she will tell you and communicate with you...

I definitely think you should ask him first! I mean, that would not be an unreasonable question on your part at all! THEN make a decision. If its because of his feelings towards you then ditch him....

look towards it as a new start! You may eventually patch stuff up, but maybe time apart is good! Go out with new friends, join a club, join a gym, find new hobbies etc. you will soon find new...

Hmmm... I definitely think you need to see a dr about the depression. Trust me, I know its hard. But its worthwhile! YOU need to be healthy so you can have a healthy relationship!

At first, I...

I agree with everyone else. You should move on.

And as someone else said, do you want to be with someone that overreacts over small things? Either she always does that or her feelings had already...

Hmmm... maybe just take their word for it for now... but then just keep an eye and your mind open for more clues... Also, don't act jealous. Maybe that's why they are doing it, because she is jealous...

I think that you don't need to know the past. I think it can bring up MORE questions and MORE issues eventually.

If someone is dodgey and has not changed, they are not likely to tell you that...

OK, I know you will hate this but... you are so young!

BUT I know, I know... it still hurts and feels bad!

First, I think maybe just find out what they are texting! If its just friendly stuff...

I see where your mum is coming from but I guess the 'gaining confidence from dating 5 or more different guys/girls' worries me.

If taken too literally it can mean that you are looking to other...

When I was 16/17 I used to get A LOT of attention from the older guys in their 20's. I did look old for my age, and in a sense act a lot more mature than other girls my age. But I emphasise 'act'....

I guess I feel a bit rich forgiving myself for the things that I have done (throwing plates, breaking up)... but yet not forgiving his behaviour...

anyway, I can't wait to go to therapy again....

That's the thing, I can't seem to forgive myself! The therapist can say it's a 'reaction' to being controlled which is quite normal. Yet, I come off as the abuser. I don't want to be the abuser. And...

I trivialize my issues in therapy, not because I don't want to change. But because I feel they are stupid. I feel I am insecure about myself, and its stupid. Body image issues are dumb. *I* SHOULD...

I don't mean to blame others for what's happening. I know it's MY responsibility to look after my emotional wellbeing, and I have done in the past with other bad bf's. I was able to see it much...

I can't believe all the difference between the first posts and the last posts! So much change! Sure, you still have a long way to go but you have already done the hardest part! I am so amazed and...

Definitely think that no contact is the best option.

HOWEVER I don't agree with everyone else that says she is not interested. Having been in that situation myself I felt I was too depressed and...