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Wow, you are still in the situation. At least it is improving for you.

So, I believe your next step is to increase your attractiveness.
Simple things like, having a goal. You can go on without...

phantompeg,

Although, I respect madmic1967's opinion and he might be right. I have seen what he is talking about and in most cases it is the norm.

However, It is not over, yet.
There is still...

I changed by being better.
She might be comparing you to others at her work.
"After 12 years, what have you accomplished."
"How many broken promises and dreams?"
This is why a Goal is so...

Hi Phantompeg,

I have an answer for you.
Read "Ways of a Superior Man" by David Deida.

Yes, Communication is key but it is not the only key.
With 12 years of marriage, you've lost that sex...

Is she being satisfied during sex?
Is she getting the big "O"?
What worked 5 years ago doesn't count today... you can't do the same thing over and over again. She needs something different from...

I have another angle to your situation.
Although I agree going to counseling is great, but it will not have any effect on your current situation until you change.

I am going to take a wild...

That was a very long and interesting read.

Wow... what a situation.
Can't be in a happy relationship without Trust.

Don't waste anymore of your time with the bisexual guy.
Good luck with your...

It is possible to have a great relationship... BUT it is a tougher road than just getting into a another new relationship.

You can get Trust back again... it will take time.
After my wife cheated...

I have Not read any other responses, yet...

In the Geography of Bliss, the author mentioned one very important elements of being in a happy relationship is Trust.

From your original post, it...

Well, I say it is about the Husband.
The OP is almost in her 5th year mark... statistically where a lot of divorces happens.


The OP has grown and gotten a little more mature and she is noticing...

Wow... that is a real mess.

OK so, He is a good provider.
Is he a good father to your son?
No one else will love your son as much as he does.

Does your husband understand the gravity of the...

I still stand by my statement.

What you people don't know is still what you don't know.
I didn't invent these ideas.
I was searching for reasons my wife cheated on me.
That was my approach to...

Well, I know where his frame of mind is.
He needs help.

Yes, he needs to be confidence and self respect.

I am 2 years ahead of the path he is taking.
I understand his anger.

Heck, have him...

His insecurity and neediness is very anti-Attraction.
When his life is focus on you... it is also very un-Attractive.

Tell him to Read, "Ways of a Superior Man" by David Deida.
It will tell him...

LEAVE, RUN and get a good Lawyer... if you are living in America.

What country are you in?
I would definitely found out what is the divorce laws in the country you live in.

Point being?. he is looking at Pornography to get his sexual arousal and it is a visual thing. He is not in love with them. It is probably a habit thing at this point.

The lying thing.. that is...

JudyKayTee... This is the lost of Passion I was talking about in the other posts.

Outlawneeler... you are not the only one feeling the lost of passion.


My wife had described the lost of...

None of us can help you.

You are going to do want you want to do anyway.
You just need to think things out carefully.

Men's attraction is based on visuals.
Her does her body look.. hair color, etc.
They sell beer with slender models.

Women's attraction is based on emotions.
How does he make you feel.. etc....

Is Lying wrong?
We all Lie... Women too... and they are better at it.

What is he lying about?
Is he lying about an affair?
Is he lying about finances?
Is he lying to keep you at peace?

All...

I heard this on Jerry Springer Show from a Trailer Park Mom talking about her daughter... "You can fall in Love with anyone."

And she is right. You can fall in Love, have feelings, and care for...

I am a yelling husband.

If my wife is in a strong frame of mind she solve my yelling by gently giving me a way back to recognizing my fault (not correcting me in front of the kids) and no big deal...

Establish communication... no emotionally charged button pushing talk... just lovingly talk to each other.

So you do a "dyad".
Sit across from each other face to face and holding each others...

I am just as dumb with a degree & without a degree.

Yes it is working.

Haha (because, I don't put smileys all the time... it is also represent the light heartedness of my post and I am actually smiling when I am writing)... I don't have special...

Hey, that is great... I feel very good that you read my post and was able to quote from them.

However, Your assumptions are very weak, due to lack of information.
My wife strayed at the 15th year...

That's funny... name calling.

Since I am the Man... I will be more mature and just smile.

The answer is simple I am not Nice to You.

No... Not Pathetic at all.

The Pathetic ONES are the Men out there still believing they have to be the Nice Guy and be subservient to women.

And...

HAHA!! Welcome to the World of Marriage...

I'm telling you... I think I've been scammed too... except for the fact my wife was already born in America.

I thought there would be a lot of...

HAHA... I agree with you too.

"Follow your Heart"... "Choose Love"... That is a bunch of Disney Hollywood Movie BS.
With your wisdom, you should know better.
You can Love anybody and your Heart...

Did you get the impression I was Judging the OP?
Did I condemn the OP?
Hmmm... the OP asked for advice.

I feel your comment is judging me needing ore counseling.

BTW, I'm not judging you, nor...

I agree.

No Trust = no happiness.




The secrecy itself suggest either an emotional affair or worst a sexual affair

Thanks...

Yes, God doesn't like divorces.
God doesn't like sinning either... but ALL of us sin everyday.
We have to ask for forgiveness and be forgiving.


"I suspect He doesn't like people...

I think the Aussie is a PLAYER.
Everything he did to Attract you was fake and his only goal was to Game you.

That includes Storytelling, Turning his body a certain way, Talking with your Friends,...

I would say stay in the marriage.
God doesn't like divorces.


BUT!!
You and your Husband really have to talk and get some communication going.

Do you have kids?

I know it is very...

WOW!! Very Interesting situation of integrating a Step Family.

FACT:
The Big Family wants to be close to each other.
The Big Family is not including you and your kids.
The Family is You and...

I've been where you are... about 4 years ago.

Was it just an Emotional Affair or did it escalate to a Sexual Affair?

The other Posters are right... you need counseling.

The reason is you...

Doh!! 2006!!

"What does it mean when a guy cuddles after sex?"

It is call "Spooning".
Haha... My wife and I just saw this movie "Ghost of Girlfriends Past" and that is what they called it.

Now, my wife and...

Hey Girls... best of Luck to you two.

Good Luck with the 50/50 Screaming Woman's Right equal marriage model... at least maybe he is enjoying the Screaming part.. annnnd that is Great for him......

HAHA!! That is funny.

Are you from India?

Do you know what Love is and what Love requires?
It isn't just that fuzzy good time feelings.

It is sacrifice and giving your precious "TIME".

Forgive me if I am wrong, You are not Loving her...

HAHA!! You sound like you married my wife. Nag nag nag... The first five years of my marriage was Hell.

Look...
1st... you need some growing up to do.
2nd... Just decide to stop...

WOW!! I have seen some age difference marriages before, Usually it doesn't work out.

When you are 40, can you picture yourself with a 60 year old man.

Like one of the other poster said, I...

Go ask your Uncle, Aunt, and Grandparents.

Altenweg... "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. "

Do you know what "wo" mean in latin?

HAHA!!
YES, I admit it, I am That Bad Boy you are looking for!!
Doh!! How the heck do you spot me?

You must have a Bad Boy radar.

HAHA!! Got a Roar out of you...

My wife is very strong willed... I think it came from her Irish Great Grandmother. My wife doesn't take any crap from anybody. Yes, I give her the one hour body...

HAHA!!
I let my wife give me a back rub.
I was only kidding... I was trying to get a rise out of the Screaming Woman's Right Activist. I didn't even get one real roar.


Anyway, Joe... That...

I let my wife take the car today by herself... so she can go shopping for the foods she like.