Texting whilst out on the town with friends-etc-is never a good thing.

All you achieved was making yourself feel down in the dumps!

Stick to NC.

Will this feeling for her ever end?

It will,it might take a while longer,but you'll get there,we all do.

Of course it will if, you stop screwing yourself in the a$$ by stirring up old feelings, and misery by your OWN actions.

You have to see your doing this to yourself, and it seems when your "having a night on the town", or translation... drinking!!

Alcohol makes you feel great at first, then stupid, then depressed that you were stupid.

Steer clear of the alcohol when your feeling down haha I learned this the hard way.

Yup. Its up to you. Not us.

Get out of denial asap. Tell yourself its over & done with.

As may times as it takes.

Time to go NC, my man.

Hey everybody, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who had a say in my thread. It really did help talking to you guys. Its been a while since I have even been on here, been working out a lot and feeling a lot better about how I look and all that. I still think about her everyday but catch myself taking longer to think about her after I wake up. Thanks again, take care.

It is not easy, and there are still lows, but you do start to think... hmmm... I used to [insert annoying thought about ex] every [much to often if not all the time]...

And then one day you realize maybe it happens only half as much. Or maybe you get through a busy day and don't think about it at all. Et cetera.

2.3 steps forward and 2 steps back is still progress... and we rarely EVER give ourselves credit for those good days... it's the days when all is off, when your heart hurts or your mind is racing... that's what sticks out.

Just human nature.

Seven a dozen decent hours plus one or two off hours often equals a "bad day"... oh well

Hey everyone, I didn't think that I would be back on here for quite some time. Just kind of feeling down again for no reason, I can't wait for the day that I don't think of my ex. Is it normal to still feel like this even after 5 months? The hard part is I just feel so empty and alone at times and just have these thoughts that Ill never find my girl. Just had to vent to somebody..

I understand how hard that can be. But if you did your best to treat her right, you should be satisfied. Yeah, it's going to hurt, but while you're hurt about it, she's sleeping at night. It's her loss. Some people just don't know when they really have something good coming for them. I'm a living testimony. Even if you don't understand why she broke up with you, she will eventually. Just hang in there.:cool:

So what are you saying HeavenlySpiced, you think she will think about what happened down the road and second guess her decision?

This thread helped me. I screwed up and broke NC because she texted me asking if I wanted to talk. I talked, opened up about wanting to start over (because that's what I had been hoping to do), it was too much for her and now we are back to NC. Wish I wouldn't have talked to her and kept NC going. NC is the only way. Even if she wants to test you to see if you'll jump back in, keep the NC going. The only chance she will ever come back is if you become a man and don't give an f that she contacted you. If you ever talk to her again don't mention anything about wanting a relationship. She will be attracted to what she can't have and you need to become what she can't have. Where are you from anyway?

Don't fall into the trap. NC isn't supposed to be a tool by which you can win her back (though it can be used that way). It's meant to help you win YOURSELF back. Go back to being yourself, find a way to be happy with yourself. Once your happiness is your own again, and you no longer feel like you need ANYTHING from her to be happy, then you can truly decide what it is that you want.

I am happy most of the time, been working out a lot and have been in the best shape of my life. Also have a interview for verizon which I hope I get. Im just trying to be the guy that every girl wants. Kyle I am from Iowa by the way, how about yourself?

I'm glad you've made good progress, and I don't want this to seem too picky... but the place you need to be... the one where things get really good... is when you stop trying to be that guy every girls wants and you make sure you are the guy you need to be for yourself...

And that doesn't mean there isn't overlap... for ex, if you think being fit or successful or accomplished might help your cause with a prospective mate, you are probably right... right? And this, of course, is good for you, good for yourself confidence, etc...

... just make sure that you keep You in mind...

And I say this from experience... a few times along the way I made choices based on what I thought would be best for the relationship, and especially what I thought the girl wanted... and a couple of those decisions were in direct conflict with what I wanted on a big scale... which meant I regretted that decision in the long run...

So...

Just trying to make sure I can muddle this up and confuse you as much as possible... its fine to be considerate for a mates needs and wants. Its great to think about what areas in your life you can improve, and in what ways can you possibly be a more desirable mate. No problem with that.

The problem happens when you lose yourself in the process of "doing whats right to keep the girl"... it is much better to be true to what you need and who you are and lose the girl for all the right reasons than to bend yourself too much out of shape to make that square peg fit that round hole.

I only say this cause it is so easy to do... been there. Done it. Took a long time to learn that its less important to be desirable to a broad group of potential mates if that means you are denying some aspect of yourself that will bite you in the arse eventually.

I'm a flippin' rainbow of happy colors tonight, eh?

Hey guys I just read this whole thread.
Hearing your story and people's responses has really helped me.
I recently (3 weeks ago) had my heart torn to pieces when my ex of 2.5yrs told me we were over. I'm coming to accept the fact that we weren't right for each other and we grew apart.
I have basically been full NC since the breakup, apart from one night when we talked on IM just about random stuff, then I told her we shouldn't contact each other for a long time and it's been NC since.
It has definitely helped me move on, though I'm still hurting like you. You will get through this just like I will too.

Just remember that this time that has been given to you, to be single, is a great time to improve areas of YOUR life. It dosen't matter what your ex is up to or if they're thinking about you - they've already made their choice. Take a deep breath and say "I'm no longer going to give anymore power to my ex. This is my life and it is worth so much more than this."

Chin up! :)

Keep us updated

A little disappointed in the lack of updates..

We all of us have relationships some work out for weeks, some for months, and some for a lifetime.

With those that are short term, regard those as practice.

With those that last longer, again more practice.

Obviously long term or forever means you got it right.

However you also need to be aware that with some relationships you'll know why they ended, and with some you'll never know why, and also perhaps the person ending the relationship didn't know why themselves, they just knew they no longer felt they wanted to continue with the relationship.

This happens a lot, it doesn't mean you were at fault or the other person just that the relationship you had had run its course.

Im sure by now you'll be well on your way to getting over the relationship.

Hey again everyone. Just a question for you, how exactly do you know if your ex is in a rebound relationship? The only reason I ask is because my ex is starting to come around. We talked on the phone for the past week sometimes for 2 hours. I could tell something was wrong and I got her to talk about it then she says that's she should have never broke up with me and that the grass was not greener on the other side. Thing is she has a boyfriend right now so I don't really know what to do or expect. I would still consider to see her again but I don't know what I can do right now. Can anyone help me please?