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    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #1

    Nov 10, 2008, 01:22 PM
    What did you learn about yourself after a devastating breakup?
    All right, I thought it would be wise for someone like me, going through a break up, to ask others who have been through it before. Think of your most devastating break up experience, and tell me what you came out of it with. In other words, what about YOU changed because of this that you are truly grateful for?
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
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    #2

    Nov 10, 2008, 02:53 PM
    I will stick up for myself and not be a push over.

    I will know when things don't seem right, communicate and take action whatever it may be (breakup or work through).

    I will not wait for a girl to come back no matter what they tell me when we have "the talk".

    I'll sure there will be more as I move forward in my healing process.


    C-YA!
    mydogquestion's Avatar
    mydogquestion Posts: 232, Reputation: 21
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    #3

    Nov 10, 2008, 02:59 PM

    I learned I will not change who I am for anyone.

    I will say what I am feeling sooner.

    I will give no second chances for cheaters.

    The most important part is that I am OK on my own . And knowing that makes it OK to not rush into a relationship just to be in one.

    Enjoy who you are.! Good luck.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Nov 10, 2008, 03:16 PM

    Pay more attention, and get facts, and not just make decisions based on feelings.

    Be patient, and not be impulsive.

    Stay within my limits, and be myself, no matter if any one likes it, or not!

    Never be afraid to love, or let go!

    Stand up for myself, and don't fall for the BS.

    Let people play games with themselves and not me.

    Love myself enough to be very happy with myself.

    Ain't that much love in the world, to make me do something I know I shouldn't.

    Better thought before actions. And

    Say what you mean, and mean what you say. (or else the beeyatches will run all over you)
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #5

    Nov 10, 2008, 08:17 PM

    I keep learning that no matter how much you keep thinking there's nobody but her... you are wrong.
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #6

    Nov 10, 2008, 08:36 PM

    Not to be a push over or wimpy

    Needy Clingy..

    Learn to listen.. learnt to see the RED FLAGS

    Became more confidant in myself
    Liked myself more.

    The plus.. so out did the negatives :)

    The sharpest blade has to go threw the hottest flame
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Nov 10, 2008, 09:57 PM

    Stay away from females you can't trust

    Don't mix up sex with love.

    Make sure you both have the same idea of love.
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #8

    Nov 10, 2008, 10:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chuff View Post
    I keep learning that no matter how much you keep thinking there's nobody but her.....you are wrong.
    I like that one chuff... definitely something to drill into your head while dealing with a breakup.
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #9

    Nov 10, 2008, 10:09 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Pay more attention, and get facts, and not just make decisions based on feelings.

    Be patient, and not be impulsive.

    Stay within my limits, and be myself, no matter if any one likes it, or not!

    Never be afraid to love, or let go!

    Stand up for myself, and don't fall for the BS.

    Let people play games with themselves and not me.

    Love myself enough to be very happy with myself.

    Ain't that much love in the world, to make me do something I know I shouldn't.

    Better thought before actions. and

    Say what you mean, and mean what you say. (or else the beeyatches will run all over you)
    Perfect from the start to the beeyatches lol
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #10

    Nov 10, 2008, 10:16 PM

    Never take anything for granted !

    Always trust your gut instinct !

    Never put anyone on a pedestal !
    spyderglass's Avatar
    spyderglass Posts: 434, Reputation: 34
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    #11

    Nov 10, 2008, 10:18 PM

    Always be yourself, or it won't be you they're falling in love with.
    spyderglass's Avatar
    spyderglass Posts: 434, Reputation: 34
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    #12

    Nov 10, 2008, 10:28 PM

    Not following you FlyB, stalking you ;)
    Nah, this was at the top of the answer list and I had to put in my 2 cents.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #13

    Nov 11, 2008, 06:25 AM

    Love all of the input. It is worth it for people who are just breaking up to realize there is always a bright side to everything, and no matter how much you think you know about yourself, a bad situation can teach you even more. Here is what I have learned (thus far, and it is a copy of most of the other answers):

    1.I am good enough to be loved
    2. The world doesn't revolve around me
    3. I am not the only one with problems
    4. I am, and NEVER have been alone when it comes to dealing with this issue
    5. I don't need her to make me happy (as if she really did)
    6. Life is too short not to love yourself
    7. I can overcome heartbreak (good feeling to have)

    Still working on a lot of this, but I can see most of them coming through. Getting stronger day by day!
    MissMax143's Avatar
    MissMax143 Posts: 37, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #14

    Nov 11, 2008, 08:14 AM

    I learned that I was so unhappy with him because I was not myself. I did everything to try and please him to make it work, and I ignored the truth. I learned that I will not make excuses no more, or live in fantasyland believing what could never come true! I am not scared to be alone anymore I respect myself more then I ever did and I found happiness with in me!
    :)
    dahlialine's Avatar
    dahlialine Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #15

    Nov 11, 2008, 03:49 PM

    I learned to not take anything for granted, and to be able to communicate your feelings instead of assuming they know what you're feeling.
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #16

    Nov 11, 2008, 04:25 PM

    Lust isn't love.

    The value of personal space and learning when to speak up when it's being invaded.

    The first impression really means everything and won't change no matter how close you get.

    But the number one thing I learned, is that there exists much worse things in life and thank God both of us are healthy and have a lot of life ahead of us.
    lovebug2140's Avatar
    lovebug2140 Posts: 49, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member
     
    #17

    Nov 12, 2008, 12:12 AM

    I ended a relationship of a year and 8 months and I learned thattt..
    1. I will never stay in a relationship that I'm miserable in just because I feel bad.
    2. I will stand up for myself
    3. I will keep my friends closer
    4. I won't let myself go
    5. ill stick to what I want. Not what someone else wants me to do.
    lovelen's Avatar
    lovelen Posts: 33, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #18

    Nov 12, 2008, 02:15 AM

    I learned not to give up friends or hobbies for your new beau. I learned to appreciate my friends so so so much more than ever before because they were there for me through all the tough times. I learned not to make his life, my life. Don't waste time fighting.. cherish every moment you have, not to take your relationship for granted. And I learned not to force things.. just let it happen.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
    Ultra Member
     
    #19

    Nov 12, 2008, 06:44 AM

    Keep it going guys... nothing like motivation for the broken hearted who join this site everyday!
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #20

    Nov 12, 2008, 07:20 AM

    Hmm.. I learned quite a bit

    1. The person they say you have nothing to worry about, is the person you need to worry about.

    2. The warning signs are written on the wall, we just choose to look at the other walls.

    3. Sometimes, no matter how much it hurts, you have to let go for something better.

    4. Don't let anyone make you feel replacable

    5. Even though you may feel like it's the end of the world, it's not, the sun still signs the next day and that's enough to push yourself up out of bed.

    6. Break means break up

    7. If someone says "they need space" it means it's over and don't try changing there mind.

    8. There is no changing their mind when they decide to end it, so don't waste your dignity trying.

    9. You will find a new love, you have to know where to look.

    10. The greatest strength comes from your weakest points

    11. If they say "I think we need to see other people" it really means "I've already started seeing someone else, I just don't want to feel guilty anymore"

    12. Myspace and Facebook are the DEVIL in break ups.

    13. NOBODY is worth sacrificing yourself or your beliefs for.

    14. If the flame has burned out, stop trying to relite it, enjoy the time you spent and just let it go.

    Sorry for so many, but I had a lot of time to reflect

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