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    lmnotok's Avatar
    lmnotok Posts: 217, Reputation: 37
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    #21

    Oct 8, 2007, 07:44 PM
    Was I so severe?
    Hi there, I'm back to this site again.

    I have just done something to my last relationship (which is long distance). Don't know if it was right thing or wrong.

    Me and my ex officially broke up almost a year. But after the breakup, we still contacted sometimes. Now he dated and had a new girlfriend but hides it from me until I found it out myself. Its nothing to blame because we already broke up. I said "well then, im happy for you, wish you all the best." He cried and constantly asked me "Why did you leave me? If you didnt leave me, if you never quited trying, such things would never happen. I am not a machine, i need to survive. You had no idea how much hurt i was when you left me."

    I said "what is done, is done. As soon as i sign out this chat today, we are completely stranger, you never existed and so do i". He said it was too severe. I ended up saying goodbye forever, he kept saying that I'll hear from him in this life.

    At 1st I felt good. But honestly now I feel so terrible. Was I so severe?
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #22

    Oct 8, 2007, 07:49 PM
    I don't think you were severe. The breakup occurred over a year ago and he has a new girlfriend. There is no reason for you to be his emotional dumping ground for him.

    You are absolutely right - what is done is done. The only thing we can control in this life is the present no one can go back in time an fix past mistakes.

    I think you should feel good you stood your ground and didn't let him manipulate you.
    star3114's Avatar
    star3114 Posts: 234, Reputation: 44
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    #23

    Oct 8, 2007, 07:58 PM
    I think you did the right thing. If anything, it should provide closure for both of you. Good luck!
    lmnotok's Avatar
    lmnotok Posts: 217, Reputation: 37
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    #24

    Oct 12, 2007, 06:29 AM
    I never stopped caring about you.
    Hi there,

    I just wonder, what do you mean when you tell your ex "i've never stopped caring about you" and "i've never stopped thinking about you"??

    Did any of you guys say so to your ex?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #25

    Oct 12, 2007, 09:06 AM
    No, never. Its hi, and bye, I have never looked back, and always moved on.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #26

    Oct 12, 2007, 09:08 AM
    Yes, but 50 years later when it doesn't matter anymore.
    needofhelp's Avatar
    needofhelp Posts: 129, Reputation: 14
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    #27

    Oct 12, 2007, 09:19 AM
    I've said that to my ex. I've said it during the first 2 weeks because I thought she didn't know how much I miss her and that I still care. Based on all of the advice on her, it doesn't matter what I say. The best is to do NC. FYI she's the one who left me.
    lmnotok's Avatar
    lmnotok Posts: 217, Reputation: 37
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    #28

    Oct 12, 2007, 10:14 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by needofhelp
    I've said that to my ex. I've said it during the first 2 weeks because I thought she didn't know how much I miss her and that I still care. Based on all of the advice on her, it doesn't matter what I say. The best is to do NC. FYI she's the one who left me.
    So what did she reply after u saying this?
    needofhelp's Avatar
    needofhelp Posts: 129, Reputation: 14
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    #29

    Oct 12, 2007, 11:47 AM
    At first she said she missed me as well. She knows how I feel about her. But it doesn't matter, because if she truly missed me or cared about me or the times we spent we would be together.

    What's your situation or motivation for asking this question.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #30

    Oct 12, 2007, 12:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl
    Yes, but 50 years later when it doesn't matter anymore.
    36 years not fifty LOL, I'm not that old, and we reside in different states.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #31

    Oct 12, 2007, 01:15 PM
    I'm in my mid 40's... but I don't have anything to do with any ex's, the fact I almost never run into any of them makes ignoring them that much easier.
    lmnotok's Avatar
    lmnotok Posts: 217, Reputation: 37
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    #32

    Oct 13, 2007, 03:07 AM
    Well, sometimes I just don't figure out what's most important in a human's life. I let my mind wandering around too much thinking about love/relationships and can't get back to where I previously thought.

    Sorry I'm being nonsense. But old people, were you ever like me when you were young? (at the age of 20 or something). And how do you fix it?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #33

    Oct 13, 2007, 03:24 AM
    Between school and a job, and parties, what else was there??
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #34

    Oct 15, 2007, 08:38 AM
    Well, one of them was upset I shut her out... the fact I had to see her every day since we took the same bus for about a year till I graduated was tense. But I was of the mindset that I didn't want anything to do with a woman that did what she did. I had my standards of what I found acceptable and stuck to them. The fact I am a stubborn SOB and always was helped me a lot. But in some ways I was never the party animal many people in their 20's are. I always thought getting drunk just to get drunk was stupid, still do.
    lmnotok's Avatar
    lmnotok Posts: 217, Reputation: 37
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    #35

    Oct 16, 2007, 06:30 PM
    Holy4hit, I laughed my off for what I did yesterday. I went to bed at 8pm, haha and as a result I woke up at 4am. I was half asleep, half awake. I was to listen to some songs but suddenly he appeared online and message me. I just reply like a sleepwalker. Finally I said "hey what do u want from me?". He didn't answer and ask me that question over on me. I said "i want you". Hahaha stupid, right? He said " well you shocked me a lot, i need time to sort my feelings out". I ended the conversation again since I was sleepy.

    OMg the morning I woke up again at 10am freaking out. I didn't even remember what I said in the chat. When I read them again woooh, I didn't understand why I said it. So I sent him an email explaining that I was just a sleepwalker and don't take anything serious and don't even waste 1 second thinking about it lol.

    Im sure he read it but he didn't answer that email. But not important, since if I were him, I wouldn't.

    HAHAHA I feel funny and ridiculous though.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #36

    Oct 16, 2007, 07:57 PM
    I have had so many G?F's and love them all, but in the here and now, We have been through so much, and have so much more to go through, I can't look back on what was!! Right now , I'm dealing with what is!
    enigmagnetic's Avatar
    enigmagnetic Posts: 333, Reputation: 45
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    #37

    Oct 16, 2007, 08:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lmnotok
    holy4hit, i laughed my off for what i did yesterday. I went to bed at 8pm, haha and as a result i woke up at 4am. I was half asleep, half awake. I was to listen to some songs but suddenly he appeared online and msg me. I just reply like a sleepwalker. Finally i said "hey what do u want from me?". He didnt answer and ask me that question over on me. I said "i want you". hahaha stupid, right? He said " well you shocked me a lot, i need time to sort my feelings out". I ended the conversation again since i was sleepy.

    OMg the morning i woke up again at 10am freaking out. i didnt even remember what i said in the chat. when i read them again woooh, i didnt understand why i said it. So i sent him an email explaining that i was just a sleepwalker and dont take anything serious and dont even waste 1 second thinking about it lol.

    Im sure he read it but he didnt answer that email. But not important, since if i were him, i wouldnt.

    HAHAHA i feel funny and ridiculous though.
    Yeah talk about a shock he probably stayed up all night. Shame on you. Girls can be mean. You girls have too much power over us.
    lmnotok's Avatar
    lmnotok Posts: 217, Reputation: 37
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    #38

    Oct 16, 2007, 11:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by enigmagnetic
    Yeah talk about a shock he probably stayed up all night. Shame on you. Girls can be mean. You girls have too much power over us.

    OMG read this before you judge https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...re-138610.html

    Now, do you still think I am mean?
    jeffatl's Avatar
    jeffatl Posts: 489, Reputation: 83
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    #39

    Oct 17, 2007, 01:09 AM
    You don't really stop caring for an ex, the feeling just change. You also never really stop thinking about them, a random memory will pop up every now and again because you are somewhere, or doing something you once did. It doesn't mean you still love them though, sometimes it can aggervate you that you think of them. An ex is an ex for a reason.
    enigmagnetic's Avatar
    enigmagnetic Posts: 333, Reputation: 45
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    #40

    Oct 17, 2007, 03:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lmnotok
    OMG read this before you judge https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...re-138610.html

    Now, do you still think i am mean?

    I was only kidding chicka! :D I don't judge you I've probably done worse.
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